Always smile, good luck comes naturally, be happy

Collection of Jokes

1. I went to a meeting today, and I ran into my colleague Liu on the way, and he ate carrots while walking. I asked: "Oh, this season, all the fruits have come down, how do you eat radishes?" Liu: "You don't understand, eat it, you can leave early for a meeting!" I: "What do you mean? "Da Liu: "Our section chief said, during the meeting, you have something to leave, I can understand, but at least you have to fart!" I: "..."

2. A man rides a motorcycle home, Fearing the wind, he put the jacket back on purpose and fastened it from the back. He accidentally fell down while turning, and died. The reporter interviewed the uncle who was passing by, and the uncle sighed: It was too miserable, and his head was turned upside down. I was still angry when I came here. I tried my best to help him turn his head around, and he was out of breath. Now...

3. When I was a kid, my brother always cheated me of money. Once he asked me if I wanted a small shell? I gave him fifty yuan, but at night, he really brought me a bunch of small shells, which I regarded as a treasure for many years, until one Chinese New Year, I saw pistachio .

4. At the end of the year, I called the customer to ask for the project payment, and agreed to pay the money this week. In the afternoon, I received a call from a customer asking me to go to the company, and I went happily. When he went to his office, he told me: There is no money at the end of the year, and the payment has not been received. After the new year, he will settle the account with me. When you come over, he will say hello to you in person. It's impolite on the phone. I...

5. I saw the goddess online at night, and I sent a message to her: "Are you there?" The goddess replied after ten minutes: "I'm pulling, what's the matter?" God! The goddess actually replied to me! I replied with excitement, "Then you pull it first, and then talk after you pull it." An hour has passed, why the goddess hasn't finished pulling it?

6. The classmates travel to the city where the female classmates work, and the girl visits the hotel. Talking very well, talking about personal income, the man asked the woman: how much do you pay after taxes, the woman blushed, and the weak answer: What kind of money do the classmates go to bed today, even if I ask you to go to bed today.

7. The teacher said to Xiao Ming: "Milk means small. For example, suckling pig means little pig. Please use the word "milk" to make a sentence." Xiao Ming: "My family is very poor and can only live with 40 square meters of breasts." The teacher fainted: "This won't work. Change it." Xiao Ming: "I have to jump over a cleavage at my door every day when I go to school." The teacher fainted: "No,Another "Xiao Ming": "Teacher, I can't think of it anymore, I want to break my nipples!

8. One day, a cat caught a mouse. The cat did not eat him, and then let him go. Before the mouse went far, the cat went up and caught the mouse again, and then still did not eat him. Let it go. Just like this, catch it, let it go, and repeat it several times. In the end, the mouse was tortured and annoyed: "Brother Cat, which one are you singing?" "The cat replied:" captured Meng Huo seven times ! "

9. When I was a kid, I made a mistake and was beaten by my mother, and I didn't shed a tear! After the beating, my mother stroked my head: Silly boy! Why don't you run! Does it hurt? I cried after hearing this sentence. ! You chased me two streets, tell me where else I can go!

10. Teacher: I want you to write an essay, write about people, and focus on the prominent places. Xiao Ming: Teacher, I think about it. I’ll write about my grandma. Teacher: What is the prominent aspect of your grandma? Xiaoming: My grandma has lumbar herniation

You laugh