Duan | My wife asked me, if she dies, will I get married again?

Reality

The boss looked at me coldly and said, "This is the third time you've been late for work this week! Do you know what that means?"

I nodded and said,"Yes, it means it's Wednesday ."

Vision

I bought stock in the company that brushed me off during the interview.

If you want to say why, they are quite accurate.

Liar

Someone called me yesterday, saying that he was from the court and that my account had abnormal consumption.

Did I say you are really a public prosecutor? Then what are the two basic points of one center, what are two learning and one doing, what are three adherence and three guarantees, what are four modernizations, four self-confidence, and four consciousnesses, what are five emphasis, five Take the lead, what are the six ones, what are the seven prohibitions, what are the eight rules, and what are the nine prohibitions?

He couldn't answer any of them, so he was embarrassed and hung up the phone.

Reason

Customer: Your air conditioner is cooling too slowly, I would like to return it.

customer service: Hello, it cannot be returned.

Customer: Doesn't it mean that there is no reason to return within 7 days?

Customer Service: You have reasons.

affirmation

has been denied since childhood, until one day, a girl gave me an affirmation: she said that I must be a second-rate.

Philosophy

The son asked his father: Why do wise people often die young?

Dad: If you want to pick flowers in the garden, which one do you want to pick?

child: the ugly one.

Dad: Then...wait...why?

child: my garden has no place for useless waste.

Consequences

There is a girl in the community who is getting married today, and I said to my son: "You have to study hard and do your homework carefully, so that you can marry a beautiful wife in the future." , said to me with relief: "I won't marry a wife in the future."

His father has been worshipping for a year.

Arrange

Wife asked me if she dies will I marry again?

I said no, I want to live with my brother.

Then I asked her if I died would she marry again?

She said no, she also wants to live with my brother.

failed

This morning, my girlfriend jokingly asked me to list the names of the girls I dated in order.

Thinking about it now, I really shouldn't have listed seven or eight names after her name....

Accidentally

Lice entered the employment agency and said, "I am unemployed, what should I do?"

The clerk looked at Computer, said: "I can arrange for you to work on Pharaoh's beard."

Lice said: "Very good", and went to work the next day.

Two days later, he came back and said: "I can't work on Lao Wang's beard, he always smokes, and I have asthma." X hair on top."

Lice said "good" and went to work the next day.

Two days later, the louse came back and said, "I can't work on Sister Liu's X hair."

The clerk asked: "What's wrong?" As a result, the next morning, I woke up on top of Pharaoh's beard, he was always smoking, and I had asthma..."