It has been nearly half a month since Miura Haruma left, but everyone has various questions about why he chose to commit suicide. There were many conjectures before, and some of them were too much about the office and parents. The nature of conjecture], after it was spread to the country, it was added to the jealousy, so Mr. Buwu has not posted any articles on the reasons for suicide before.
In the past two days, Japanese media have also conducted interviews with relevant people to dig deeper into relevant information. The latest issue of "Weekly Bunchun" published an article ""The whole thing happened to my humanity", Miura Haruma in the The distress and contradiction revealed in the "suicide note"" .
The house gentleman needs to explain first that the amuse firm Miura Haruma belonged to before his death stated that there was no suicide note , and what was left was Haruma's daily diary. This report by Wenchun is a headline party, in fact Wenchun learned It was Chunma's diary, and Wenchun didn't directly get the diary and read the diary, but wrote it through a friend. The full text of
has more than 5,000 words, but there are not many sentences in the diary. However, he also explored the experience of Chunma from various aspects. Therefore, Mr. Buwu translated the full text from to today. (The mood is really heavy when translating)
After all, "Weekly Wenchun" is not a welfare organization, and the magazine wants to make a profit. It is basically a translation of the original text of Wenchun's 5133 words, and there will be a little bit of self-annotation to facilitate everyone's understanding, and Mr. Buwu himself has added some pictures).
At the same time, Mr. Buwu will also outline another long article of the Japanese media "news sport", to show everyone as much as possible to understand the state of mind of Chunma, and to understand more or less why he went to a dead end.
""Something that completely denied my humanity happened", the distress and contradiction revealed by Haruma Miura in the "suicide note""
The content of the article includes:
The core content of Haruma Miura's suicide note
The event that completely negated my humanity
Thirty years of tenderness and loneliness
The suicide note revolves around death and talks to myself "Bearing the fate of withering" Consult about private life
"That guy will definitely be on fire" Shun Oguri Impressed acting
project that amazed medical personnel: starring in ALS TV series
"I want to die without being noticed. Things make myself very painful ".
In the diary he left behind, he recorded his annoyance with and . The voices of mourning for his death have not stopped. Although there are many speculations about his death, the 30 years of his life can be reviewed from the words he left and the testimony of his relatives and friends.
"When I meet people who have a good relationship with , I don't want them to know that I want to die. I will force a smile, and it is painful to live a lie every day."
Actor Haruma Miura (30 years old) was arrested on July 18 Found suicide in his apartment in Minato Ward, Tokyo. His fans are still unable to accept the news of his death, who has successfully accumulated experience as an actor, and there are not a few people in the industry who cannot accept the news of his death. In his dying diary,
clearly records his conversations with his biological father and his urge to die.
The relevant personnel revealed that in order to investigate the existence of the incident (whether it was a homicide), the Sanda police station checked the surveillance of the apartment and found that he was throwing garbage around 11:00 the night before his suicide.
Searchers confirmed the contents and found nothing reminiscent of suicide, but found women's underwear, perhaps from last year's "Kinky Boots" appearance.
What was recorded in Miura's diary in his room? An acquaintance who has been with Miura for many years revealed the content.
"There are a lot of thoughts about 'considering the past to die' and 'how to die' and so on. They are similar to the content of a suicide note. After reading these, you can understand how he thought."
And It also describes the fact that he was deeply influenced by the character in the NHK drama "Children of the Sun" scheduled to air on August 15.
This TV series tells the tragic story of the scientists appointed to develop the atomic bomb at the end of the Pacific War. Miura Haruma plays Hiroyuki Ishimura, who returns to his hometown in order to treat lung disease and hearing loss.
In his diary, he recorded his thoughts on death through Shicun's life and recorded it in the form of questions and answers.
Miura compares herself to Ishimura during the war and finds common ground.
"Ishimura in the work, as a member of the kamikaze team, waited for the order to raid the enemy aircraft carrier. He witnessed the departure of his companions, temporarily leaving the front line and returning to his hometown due to the change of the battle plan. life, but for this, Chunma clearly wrote in his suicide note that 'I feel very heartbroken when I think about the feeling of being strong in front of my family while burdened with the fate of withering.'" (dictated by a friend)
The result of
thinking gradually penetrated into Miura's heart.
Depressed state gradually made him give up on himself.
"An event happened that completely negated my life, and suddenly I fell into depression and began to give up on myself. "
understands his account of being tormented by spiritual conflicts from a few years ago, and it is very noticeable in his diary.
"Although Chunma went to the UK for a short-term study abroad in 2017, it was around that time that he began to think about himself. the way of life is questioned. At that time, he didn't want to be known by the people around him that he wanted to die, so he began to disguise himself with a forced smile. In his suicide note, Haruma came to the conclusion that 'It is very painful to be accompanied by lies every day. Isn't this very similar to the contradiction of Ishimura played by him. '" (by friend)
▲When studying in the UK, Haruma Miura
read the words written in his suicide note, and learned more about Miura's 30-year life so far. The two key words "tenderness" and "loneliness" are revealed to everyone. .
The president of the real estate company who was the landowner of the Miura family at the time said, "Although Miura lived in a new residential area in Tsukuba City, Ibaraki Prefecture, as a child, his life was not stable. In the first grade of elementary school, 's mother ran away from home with Miura. "
▲At the age of 7, Haruma Miura
"Although I received a monthly rent of 30,000 yen from Miura's house, but since Haruma and her mother ran away from home, no one has paid it. After that, the house was taken over. auctioned.Although the house was bought back, about two months ago, his father left the house as if he had run away at night" (reported by the president of the real estate company)
At that time, Miura went to the artist training school Tsukuba Actors Studio. Former president Mayumi Kato said, "What relieved Miura's loneliness was the entertainment activities that he started at the age of four. "
Chunma has had his own worldview since he was a child. On the way to the shooting, he listened to him about the TV series he created "Listen to me about the topic of the universe". After the filming, we listened to "Continue the last topic..." What he will definitely talk about is the topic of flying to the universe. The creativity of that child is really amazing.
On the other hand, he is more coquettish than others.
"Because he is alone after returning home, he also lives in When I was at my house, once urged him to go home, he said 'I don't want to go back'. That was when his parents divorced and he started living with his new father. "(by Former President of the Arts School)
In order to adapt to his new father earlier, he learned how to express a smile.
Break with his mother, reunion with his biological father
"There is an incident that completely negated my humanity, Suddenly I fell into depression and started giving up on myself. "
At that time, his stepfather was the owner of a cowboy shop in Tsuchiura City. His mother was a guest in the store, and the two hit it off, and then got married. About 20 years ago, he started a one-stop shop in Tsuchiura City. I live in a single-family house. (Oralized by the original staff of Niulang Store)
At the same time as the family environment has changed, Miura's talent as an actor has gradually been revealed. In two years, he starred in "Love in the Sky" and won the Japanese Academy Award for Best Newcomer. He successfully squeezed into the ranks of popular actors.
Yaichiro Yamamoto, the producer of " Hot-blooded High School 2" released in 2009, described Miura's talents as follows.
He got a very high rating from Shun Oguri's "That guy will definitely get hot." This may be the sympathy of those who grew up in children's theater groups. In general, he is a very serious young man, and his acting skills are very natural, which makes people wonder if he is acting or acting in his true colors.
Miura once told people around the joy of being an actor, another acquaintance of Miura said so.
After Haruma graduated from Horikita High School, his cousin once asked him "Why do you like to be an actor?" He said "I like it because I can experience all kinds of life" .
is usually a very gentle and mature person. He will clearly say what he wants to say on TV. I always think this is a very good talent, so I have been following him because of admiration.
His family relationship was fine at the time.
April 5, 2010 When Miura Haruma was 20 years old, the three of them celebrated together at a karaoke with wine service in Tsuchiura City. The mother in the
store said that the happy family situation at that time is still fresh in her memory, "Chun Ma-jun leaned on his mother, shouting 'mom, mom' and acting like a spoiled child. Although singing was not as good as it is now, he said Got 'I'm doing vocal practice now because I'm going to sing to you next time' and got a 'Is it better to sing in falsetto because you're good at high notes'. Saying that the cake is going to be eaten at home, the happy birthday party continues three hours."
A fulfilling private life and spare time are closely related to leaps and bounds at work.
The TV series " the time of my existence " aired in 2014 starred Haruma Miura and became a topic.Miura Haruma plays a college student suffering from ALS (Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, or Gradual Freezing Disease), and is actually his own project.
▲The lines of the Japanese drama "The Time I Exist" starring Haruma Miura
"This is a realistic depiction that ALS patients and their families can accept. Video works dealing with incurable diseases are often the same, but this one The work shows the aggravation of the protagonist's illness, his daily life becomes unsatisfactory, and his pessimism and despair about his future are also well depicted. Although I know that I have received assistance from the Japan ALS Association , I heard about this and Miura himself After the plan proposed by the TV station, I was really surprised.” (Medical Relations Personnel) Tomiko Kawaguchi, former director of the
ASL Association, revealed that “Miura met with the leaders of the association and listened carefully to 'what would you think at such a time?' and so on. So far, a dignified life, not a dignified death, has not been described in the story of ALS. I think this is his masterpiece. For him, the pursuit of acting skills is inseparable from facing his own pain. "
A friend from Miura's hometown revealed that about ten years ago, he felt the boundaries of an actor's life and once told his mother that he wanted to retire.
"I once saw Chunma complaining to her mother, "I don't want to do it anymore". His mother said 'no'. After asking Chunma the truth, he said that he was very troubled with interpersonal relationships at work. Even in a rural factory You can live anywhere, if you want to live quietly in an inconspicuous place.” (by my old friend)
Miura liked his mother’s uncle who worked as a legal person in the school since he was a child, and would talk to him if anything happened. discuss.
"Please help me, I have something to discuss with you" , Miura said about seven years ago when he visited the school run by his uncle in his car.
He encountered some disputes in private, and it seems that he has not told the company. I said to him, "Go talk to the legal counsel in the company, that's the solution. It wasn't until three or four years later that I received contact from him again, and there is still a dispute. So far, I have talked to me twice, Why didn't you come to me this time?" (by Uncle)
Uncle continued, his shoulders trembling with grief. "When my 28-year-old eldest son passed away in 2003, Haruma, who was a photographer in Hokkaido at that time, still took time to attend the funeral with his manager for about ten and twenty minutes. I can't forget it to this day."
Although her uncle broke off relations with Miura's biological mother for many years, after Miura's death, she immediately called her uncle in a state of confusion.
I answered the phone "I'm in the police station now, and I have retrieved Chunma's body, what should I do?" I replied, "Just bury it quietly." (by Uncle) Testimony that "Miura has always longed for a happy family atmosphere".
Mutsu Utsuki, the representative of the " Ibaraki Genki Project" who has taught him to surf since the third day of junior high, recalled, "When Haruma was staying at my house, I used a large plate to prepare me, my wife, children, and Haruma's barbecue. At that time, Haruma was stunned, with a look of 'what is this', feeling novel. Haruma is an only child, so I have probably never seen such a situation of sharing food with each other. "
So Miura's Life, and family relations have an unfortunate fate. About five years ago, Miura cut ties with his biological mother, who had supported each other all the time.
Haruma had conflicts with her mother over work and relationship issues, and cut ties with her. Chunma didn't tell his mother his phone number, but the mother had many troubles to get his phone number.
About three years ago, Miura began to have thoughts of suicide, and the suicide note also records the following.
At that time, unable to escape from the state of depression, he thought about how to die, and the word "death" lingered in Miura's mind.
At this time, he reunited with his father whom he had not seen for 20 years. During a short-term study abroad in the UK in 2017, a friend from his hometown told him that his father underwent emergency heart surgery and might not be able to last. I had wanted to die, but I didn't know why I wanted to see him.
After returning from studying abroad, Miura met his father who miraculously survived as he wished, and learned from his father a secret that Miura did not know when he was a child.
The suicide note reads: told me the reason for divorce from my mother; the reunion with my biological father gave me a chance to rethink my life and examine myself.
Regarding the reunion with his biological father, Miura said with a smile that he was surprised by the large number of relatives who had never met before.
's reunion with his biological father brought a great turning point in his life. In fact, his surname is not Miura, and he has been using his stepfather's surname. He left his household registration about three years ago and changed his surname to Miura. He established his own company 9 years ago, and a month before his death, he also exchanged the registration information of his personal company back to Miura. (Note: The real Miura Haruma used the stepfather's surname after the mother remarried, instead of the biological father's surname "Miura", while performing arts activities continued to use "Miura")
Relatives and friends experienced experiences on July 20 Miura saw off after thirty years of turbulence. But there was no sign of his biological father.
and above is the full text of "Weekly Bunchun".
Below, Mr. Buwu will mention another long article from "news sport", because some of them are similar to Wenchun, so I will share some things about Chunma that Wenchun didn't write about.
The content in Haruma Miura's diary includes his insights into being an actor, his thoughts on co-actors, family affairs, etc., as well as his own dialogue with life. Some are in the form of records, and some are in the form of questions and answers.
A person close to Chunma revealed, "He has been very popular since high school, and he takes time off more and more often for work. I asked him if you are happy now? After being silent for a long time, he carefully looked at his mother, He would definitely follow his mother's advice and say, 'It's good to experience a different life through acting'".
Compared with his real life, he keeps moving forward through acting, and this idea is reflected in the rigor of his character creation.
"Last year, he played a role in the stage play "Crime and Punishment" that caused a pain in his heart. In order to complete this role, he went to the pastor for a long time to ask for advice" (by a person related to the stage play)
" For the sake of the role, it is also necessary for him to create different body shapes. For "Crime and Punishment", those who lost 7 or 8 kilograms are this year, and for "Queen of Boots", they go to the gym every day to gain muscle, and eat 6 meals of curry and Italian every day. Face, desperately to achieve the ideal body shape. weight loss immediately after losing weight, which caused a great burden on the body, but Mr. Miura thinks this is the that should be."
▲A still from Haruma Miura's "Crime and Punishment"
Therefore, his sincerity to the work was passed on to the people around him, and it was hard to believe that he suddenly left. The evaluations given to him were all "very self-disciplined" and "hardworking ", "To everyone is as warm as family"...
An acquaintance of Chunma said, "His shy smile has no sense of distance at all. When others praise him for being gentle, he shows a very embarrassed look." .
These are undoubtedly his real side. According to a person in the firm, he would talk to his friends about his troubles in the dead of night, but he had a estrangement with his family for a certain period of time.
"4 years ago, he changed his mobile number. , said it was to cut off contact with his parents, and told us not to tell them that before that, his relationship with his mother and stepfather was fine, and it seems that the relationship broke down because of money problems and excessive interference in his life.” (by Person from the firm)
"He stopped using the line this year. I thought he was preparing for a role again. Only he knows this feeling of loneliness" (by a person from a TV station)
Maybe because of his self-denial , so that the distress signal he sent cannot be passed on to others.
In the "Children of the Sun" that he starred in some time ago, his character hides the pain of the war front in his heart, he is very gentle and cheerful to his family, and he is a person who forcibly cheers himself up , and finally chose to commit suicide by throwing himself into the sea. Chunma seems to have overlapped himself with the role he played.
This kind of thinking about "life, life, and death" is also reflected in "The Time I Exist", even if it is painful, you have to cheer up The spirit of the character Takuto Sawada is also reflected in Haruma Miura.
To escape the path of his life, rely on the character, find a way out from the character, and over time, he will never go back.
According to the analysis of psychiatrists, Miura Haruma is a perfectionist. Perfectionists will fall into the idea of "either 100% or 0%" and have a low sense of self-identity, so they will try too hard. , or if you don't reach a certain height, you will be disturbed immediately.
Haruma Miura once said in a magazine interview: "A manager once said to me 'You are a perfectionist, but please let yourself go', so my thinking now becomes 'I don't have to be perfect. '", "I will ask people for help when I have troubles, I will forgive my shortcomings, and I am very cheerful now." Although
seems to be trying to let go of itself, it doesn't actually do it.
One month before his death, he changed the registered name of all relevant affairs in reality back to his original name "Haruma Miura", and used his real name as himself, and kept himself at a high-spirited age forever.
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