"Wonderful Flowers" Chen Ming reveals the art of speaking: being misunderstood should not be the destiny of the expresser

Ma Dong said: Being misunderstood is the fate of the expresser. The meaning behind this sentence of

was discussed intensively in the "Wonderful Talk" he hosted. It was the 14th issue of the fifth season of "Wonderful Talk". The topic was:

"TA is really working hard", isn't it A good word

During the debate, Xiao Xiao's team held an opposing opinion and thought it was not a good word. In order to prove their position, Chen Ming said in the debate:

The meaning of language is never determined by the literal meaning, it depends on everyone's understanding of the meaning behind the language. If most people hear a sentence, there will be an extension of the ambiguity, indicating that the "noise" of this sentence is very large and easy to be misunderstood. We must be cautious when using it and try not to use it to express the meaning.

Chen Ming is a lecturer in the Department of Communication of Wuhan University. With his rigorous logical thinking and excellent on-the-spot reaction ability, he won the BBKing of the fifth season of "Wonderful Flowers". In that debate about expression and misunderstanding,

used his professional knowledge to tell everyone that being misunderstood should not be the fate of the expresser. If you are always misunderstood, the problem is likely to be in your way of expression.

01 What is "speech noise"

Teacher Ming mentioned a concept in that debate- speech noise. So, what is the "noise" of language? Shannon, the founder of

information theory, put forward the concept of "noise" in information dissemination, which refers to the interference caused by technical failure or technical imperfection. Such interference will cause the information to be distorted and deformed during the transmission process, and ultimately lead to distortion of the received information. The essence of

language expression is information transmission, the speaker is the information sender, and the listener is the information receiver. Therefore, all expressions that are easy to misunderstand the listener are "noisy expressions."

So, how do we judge the "noise" in the recognition language expression? The "noise" in a sentence of

is usually divided into the following categories:

is not easy to qualitative. It means that the words used contain both praise and criticism, making it difficult for the listener to understand the true meaning of the expresser. For example, your boss says that you are "personalized" and "obedient"; your colleagues say that you are "good talking". Will you feel comfortable after listening? I think most people won't, because they don't know if they are really boasting themselves. "Individual" can be understood as "thinking and having ideas", or it can be interpreted as "bad management"; "obedient" can mean "high loyalty" or "no outstanding personal advantage"; "Speaking well" can be regarded as "helpful", but it can also be regarded as "unprincipled".

You see, the words "personalized", "obedient", and "speaking" can be understood by others from both positive and negative sides. When evaluating others with such words, the other party often feels doubts, and most of them will interpret the expression from a negative perspective. The intention of the speaker, if the speaker wants to express a positive meaning, it will be misunderstood.

If we often use such ambiguous words when evaluating a person, the other person will feel confused and unhappy at the same time.

key information is blurred. No matter in work or life, words that are prone to ambiguity usually lack clear key information, which can be divided into the following two types:

(1) has no clear process information

Many foreigners will think that Chinese old recipes are amazing because of the Words such as "a little salt" and "appropriate amount of sugar" often appear in the cooking steps, which makes them unable to start, but generations of Chinese women can comprehend and follow such recipes to cook dishes with beautiful colors, fragrances, and flavors. admire. In fact, Chinese mothers in the past relied on their experience to cook each dish, and the recipes were just a reference for the ingredients. Such a recipe can’t teach a person who doesn’t know how to cook, because it lacks the necessary guidelines for action.

communication is the same. Each of us has experienced the stage of newcomers in the workplace. When you first entered the workplace, as a newcomer, what were you most afraid of? Don't know how to do the work. If at this time, the old colleague who took you just gave you a rough explanation of the work process, and the rest is left to you. IThink, the feeling of most newcomers is just one word: ignorant. Because you still don't know exactly how to do this and what aspects need to be paid attention to. In order to complete the work, you can only ask others for specific methods, which virtually increases a lot of communication costs.

If we obscure important process information when we teach others to do something, they will still feel unable to start and difficult to implement after hearing it.

(2) does not have a clear result. It is required that

have a paragraph. To be fair, there is a person who is very lucky to meet God. God asks this person to make a wish, and he can make the wish come true. So this person said to God: "I heard that cats have 9 lives, please give me 9 lives." God said: "Okay." As a result, with a "pop", this person became a cat. . Although

is a joke, it clarifies a truth in a funny way: can't express his true purpose, and the results obtained will be very different from expectations. In

work, some leaders often unconsciously presuppose that their subordinates clearly understand their own intentions, while others do not put too much pressure on their subordinates. Therefore, when explaining work arrangements, they often understate their expectations and requirements for their work. As a result, the situation completed by the subordinates did not meet the expectations of the leader.

If we do not clarify the goal or expected result when we confess to others, the final result will often deviate from the expected goal.

information is broken or contradictory. This is what we often say "the preface does not follow the words". The speech lacks logic and cannot be justified. One of the biggest headaches for many leaders is listening to reports from their subordinates. why? When reporting on work, some employees often talk about six or seven "key points" that are not important, regardless of priority, but the real key points are covered by a few words; or they talk about it in a verbose manner. For a long time, the leader did not understand what he did. These are expressions of lack of organization and logic.

If we talk about something without logic, focus or inconsistencies, the listener will not be able to understand what we are trying to say, and misunderstandings will naturally arise.

02 How to eliminate the "noise" of language expression

Before, we talked about several common manifestations of language noise. So, how can we eliminate the noise of expression and achieve efficient communication?

is easy to qualitatively use words. We mentioned earlier that when evaluating a person, if the meaning of the word is ambiguous, the listener tends to interpret our evaluation negatively, which leads to misunderstanding and even conflict. Therefore, when we admire a person, we should use clear meanings to let the listener know that we are complimenting her.

If you think that the other party is very thoughtful and unique, you can say to her "You are very good at thinking" and "You are very smart". This is much easier for the other party to accept than to praise her as "personal." A reliable person says he is "reliable" than to praise him for his "obedient" effect; if the other person often helps colleagues at work, you can say that he is "ready to help" and "knows empathy", which is better than evaluating him "Speaking well" will make him feel much more comfortable.

clear process and result information. In language expression, vague process and result information often cause embarrassing consequences of difficulty in execution and thanklessness. The most extreme way of clarifying the process and result information is the product manual. A household appliance manual will specify the operation steps and handling methods of each link of electrical performance, installation, use, daily maintenance, and problem repair. The user is clear at a glance; a drug instruction manual will explain in detail the efficacy, administration, storage, and side effects of the drug, and the patient only needs to take the drug according to the instructions for observation.

In our daily work and life, when we communicate with others, we also need to have a clear communication awareness of the process and results: parents teach their children to cook, and tell them how to cook this dish, including how much each ingredient is put in, The order in which the ingredients are cooked, how much salt and vinegar are added, and the total length of time they need to be cooked. Only when children have a clear grasp of this information can they prepare the dishes; when working with colleagues, they also need to explain the details. Operation process, matters to be noted, expected goalSo that colleagues can cooperate with you and complete tasks on time and quality.

logically express the meaning clearly. If compares each sentence to a shell, the logic is to string all shells together into the thread of a shell necklace. Language without logic is like a pile of shells scattered all over, meaningless. Let’s take the work report as an example, logically and clearly express the following points: