Wen丨C Ma Xuetang
Before "My Sister" was released, it got the attention of many netizens, and on the day it was released, the theater was also very popular, and many people felt that , This work may be as popular as "Hello, Li Huanying".
But unexpectedly, when many people walked out of the theater, scolded: the most poisonous chicken soup!
The plot of this work is not complicated: the sister is the eldest of the family, but the parents exist patriarchal thinking is not very strong for this daughter, strong4 Shang Xin even lied that her daughter was disabled in order to have another boy, so that her sister's childhood was spent in lies.
When my sister grew up, her parents were gone. She only left some inheritance with a younger brother who was not familiar with. The older sister didn’t like this younger brother very much because of her background.
So wanted to divide the inheritance of the parents equally , and then pursue freedom by himself and send his younger brother to a reliable foster family.
However, my sister’s thoughts,But it was met with a response from reality. The whole family didn't agree with my sister's thoughts, and even gave her a bad reputation.
The aunt who loved her sister the most before, did not support her sister's practice at all, although the aunt and the sister's life experience are very similar.
The aunt, like her sister, is patriarchal in the family. She gave up the opportunity to go to college for her younger brother. She also needed to support her younger brother after she went to work. After the younger sister became pregnant, the aunt gave up her career to take care of her and many more.
Aunt is such a person. There is almost no self in her whole life, and she seems to live entirely for her younger brother.
Even so, my aunt didn't realize how sad her life was, and she took it for granted.
Therefore, as an older sister, Enron should also do the same—to give her life for her younger brother.
However, sister An Ran is obviously not willing to give up her freedom, but out of helplessness, her sister still takes on the heavy responsibility of taking care of her younger brother.
and when was first , did not deal with each other span2 span2 _span3 span span2 span2 _strong3 span2 spanThe two people are still living harmoniously together . The ending of
made a lot of viewers cry. but went out of the theater and changed hands but gave a low score , because the whole work gave people a concept: 3 .
Behind the seeming happiness, in fact, lies the great sacrifice of the older sister. Every child should have the right to choose his or her own life instead of being swayed by parents, relatives and society. No Should be criticized by people as bystanders.
Many people may think that this is not the case in all our families? Is there something wrong with the older sister taking care of the younger brother?
In the special feature, aunt Zhu Yuanyuan said very well: This inherent thing is not necessarily what it is.
People only think that older sisters should take care of younger brothers. This is an inherent concept, but we may not have thought about it. In the beginning, older sisters and younger brothers are both children and should live under the care of their parents. , Rather than the sister's help for the younger brother.
To put it simply, there is nothing wrong with the older sister taking care of the younger brother, but when this kind of care becomes a forced responsibility, is a kind of moral kidnapping, a kind of poisonous chicken soup .
Any child has the right to pursue his or her ideals, and should not give up his future just because he is a brother or sister.
Actually, the relationship between siblings and siblings is not the relationship of who takes care of each other, but the family relationship of helping each other, loving each other, and supporting each other.
To create this healthy relationship between brothers and sisters, parents need to pay attention to:
▶Avoid patriarchal thoughts _p5sp is a traditional
Conservative thinking, the emergence of this kind of wrong thinking, mainly stems from people's wrong understanding of life. Many families feel that they must have a boy if they want to pass on the family line, because after the boy gets married, the child is his own. If it is a girl, then after giving birth, it is someone else's.
In fact, there is a big mistake in this statement.
From the biological point of view, the birth of each child requires the joint efforts of both husband and wife, and the genes carried by the child are also dual.Therefore, the biological belonging of a child does not belong to other people's families, it belongs to one's own family.
The birth of males is mainly due to the influence of traditional culture: males marry females, children with male surnames, children with male surnames, children with male surnames, children with male surnames, husbands sing with women, and chickens with chickens, dogs with dogs and so on. Based on these traditional cultures, people think that only having a male child can be considered as a descendant.
However, due to the current advocacy of equality between men and women and the gradual increase in science, people’s spiritual level and scientific knowledge are also higher. Both men and women are their own children, and they will become independent families when they grow up. Many families I don’t want to have boys or girls anymore.
▶Give children equal love
Some multi-child families are prone to make this mistake, which is the unbalanced love given to children.
The balance here is not a material balance, but an emotional balance. For example, the parents bought a fried dough stick for Dabao, but bought half of it for Erbao, because Dabao has a big appetite and Erbao has a small appetite.
At first glance, this is a very unfair thing, but if the two children are full, they will not have any conflicts or objections, because they have received the same attention from the parents of , also achieved the purpose of their needs: full.
However, if the parents are overly pursuing material balance and buy half of both Dabao and 2bao, then Dabao will not be full and will become dissatisfied.
If you buy a fried dough stick for your child,So if the second treasure is panicked, or there is no waste of food left, not only is it easy to develop bad habits, will also cause dissatisfaction among children : Dabao feels that parents give more love to the second treasure. Er Bao felt that he would eat every time he was full.
Don’t think it’s strange for children to think like this. In fact, in the world of children, it’s not surprising that children don’t think that more is good. Only materialized parents think so. .
Therefore, parents should share love among their children equally. This kind of love is emotional, not material, and parents should pay attention to it.
▶Correctly handle conflicts between children
Based on the influence of inherent ideas, parents always feel that the boss of the family needs to let the second child. If there is any conflict between the children, the parents will not I don't go to the bottom of who is right and who is wrong. Instead, I often educate the boss of "You are the elder sister, let the younger brother", "The younger brother is small, you have to tolerate the younger brother" and so on.
Parents may have forgotten that when there is no second treasure, Dabao is also a "brother", because the appearance of the second treasure makes the "brother" become the sister, Dabao will have an illusion , I feel that my love has been taken away by the second treasure, that no matter what I do is wrong, I feel that there is only the second treasure in the eyes of my parents, and even my own birth is a way for parents to take care of the second treasure.
Therefore, parents should know the iron rule of "who is wrong, who apologizes" so that children will not have gaps due to the "wrong judgment" of the parents.
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