Cohabitation is the touchstone of marriage. If marriage is a commodity, then cohabitation is a trial product. If you live differently before marriage, do you have to get married first and then divorce?
In the society where marriage is dominant, living together seems to be shameful. If you stand up and say you are going to live together, a group of people will immediately attack you from the moral high ground. Ask you to join them. They completely ignore whether their arguments are tenable.
If you take the initiative to stay away from the mainstream lifestyle in society and become a minority elite group, you need to have considerable courage, and of course you also need to have conditions. If you don’t have conditions, you will become the courage of every man. Because you need to fight against all kinds of social prejudice and disgusting persuasion.
Here we are, cohabitation is not protected by law. The treatment enjoyed by women in the two states of cohabitation and married is much different. Even cohabitation will be shamelessly hit by the envy of married people. They also want to live together, but they don’t have the courage, so they hate those who have courage. This is the psychology of sour grapes. A girl told me: "If marriage and living together have little impact on my actual life, then I will definitely choose to get married, because in this way, I can stand on the commanding heights of morality. If my husband cheats, public opinion will stand on my side and shout for me to 'beat the mistress'." I know that this benefit cannot be enjoyed by people living together.
Girls who choose to live together but not get married have to consider many aspects, but now there are more and more people living together in society. This shows that this is the trend of social progress and development, the so-called general trend. Cohabitation is a common choice between the two parties after careful consideration based on their own environment and conditions. It is immoral to make groundless accusations without understanding the reasons at all.
Our Marriage certificate has only been a few decades, and the history of human cohabitation has been 1.7 million years since Yunnan Yuanmouren .
The girls who actively choose to live together must be independent, open-minded, and have strong autonomy, and they are also responsible for themselves, so they must support their courage.
Real cohabitation is not just that two people move together or live together. Like married people, they buy houses together, give birth to and plan for the future together. Except for a marriage certificate, there is no difference.
But the biggest obstacle to cohabitation is the parents of both parties, and they do not want to see us live happily together. They think that since living together is like getting married, why not get a marriage certificate? They believe that this is the greatest guarantee for marriage.
Actually, they don’t know that this certificate has no meaning. It costs more than ten yuan per card, get married at any time and get divorced at any time. The greatest guarantee for a marriage between two people is emotions, not a marriage certificate. And it is precisely because this certificate restricts people, which will scare away a pair of lovers who originally lived together. If you don’t believe it, you can try it. If two lovers who have lived together for many years suddenly ask, “Let’s get married.” In a few days, the other person will break up. Because it's too scary for them.
One of my roommates went to Beautiful Country. She met a boyfriend there and lived with her for a year, and the two lived very happily. For the sake of the man, she chose to skip school and asked for leave for various reasons. Then he would help with housework in his boyfriend's villa and cook Chinese food for his boyfriend. My boyfriend will rush home to play games with her as long as he gets off work.
But she made a mistake that most low IQ people would make. She became pregnant and told her boyfriend: "Let's get married, so that our children will have a complete family as soon as they come out." Sure enough, his boyfriend disappeared from the next day. No contact with any kind. It was only about a month later that she discovered that her boyfriend lived in his new girlfriend's house.
Psychologically, his boyfriend is not ready to raise this upcoming baby.At this time, when a woman forces him, he will choose to escape. My roommate subconsciously felt that this relationship was unstable and lacked in security, and hoped that a child could restrain the relationship between the two parties. In fact, she doesn’t understand. The couple’s previous relationship was not restricted by marriage certificates or children. Otherwise, how did so many single-parent families come from? A stable husband-wife relationship requires two people to recognize the relationship between them. The reason for all divorced people is that their relationship has broken down, not that their marriage certificate has expired.
Compared with single women, women living together are under greater pressure from their parents to marry. Because you have a suitable boyfriend, you have bought a house and furniture, and you have all the conditions for getting married. In the eyes of parents, it is just a matter of going to the Civil Affairs Bureau, and if you don’t, they will think this is a strange thing.
Single ladies can use: "No suitable person" to plug their parents' mouths, while people living together do not have this weapon.
The principle of choosing people living together to face forced marriage with their parents is to "not repent and be perfunctory." No matter how parents interfere, we can use various methods to perfunctory things and delay them again and again. But you must stick to your own actions. Because we need to know how to spend our lives is our own business. You are happy and happy cannot be replaced by others. Our country has free marriage and freedom of love. Parents have no right to interfere and cannot arrange marriages.
From a psychological perspective, let’s analyze why parents force you to get married.
1. It is the feudal idea that women should find someone to marry when they are old.
2. They have the prejudice that "the daughter is not married, she is unhappy."
3. They think that if their daughter is not married, they need their parents to do housework and cook. But they don't want to do it anymore. They don’t know about this kind of parent-child relationship, and if the child gets married, they don’t have this opportunity.
4. Worry about the issue of daughter's retirement.
In fact, the above points are nothing more than two categories. The first is to find a husband through his daughter, give birth to a child, and hand over the parents' obligation to take care of his daughter to the son-in-law and daughter's children. I don't want to be responsible anymore. Because they believe that parents' responsibilities will be fulfilled when they help their son get married and marry their daughter out. When a daughter has her own family, she will take on the responsibility of a small family. Whether it is washing clothes and cooking, or having children, it has nothing to do with her parents. The sign of parents completing this task is the marriage certificate.
In other words, the daughter lives with her boyfriend and actually lives like a couple, but as long as she has not yet obtained the certificate and the ceremony has not been completed, the parents think that their responsibilities have not been completed.
Faced with this kind of forced marriage, parents usually take the method to nag or indirectly. And you should tell your parents about various divorce information now, so that they know what love is like and what "the boat of love will be crushed by a marriage certificate at any time."
Keep our bottom line and learn to negotiate with our parents. No matter how difficult it is, we must face it up to the difficulties and defend our marriage sovereignty. We must know that no parents can accompany us throughout our lives. The final life still has to be faced by yourself.
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