Now, the calls for equality between men and women are getting higher and higher. There are more and more people who are willing to speak out for women and pursue equality between men and women. This has to be said to be a huge progress in a society.

Now, there are more and more calls for equality between men and women . There are more and more people who are willing to speak out for women and pursue equality between men and women. This has to be said to be a huge progress in a society.

also has many articles and books about women's growth and awakening of female consciousness, guiding women to develop in a more independent and independent direction and discover their own subjective consciousness.

is no longer satisfied with being a vassal of men, pleasing men, planning and helping men, but being the master of their own lives.

On the Internet and in life, we have also seen many stories of women breaking through the shackles, bravely facing challenges, welcome the outside world, and living a wonderful life.

They set an example for more women and told us: women can live in any way without being defined by others.

But a problem that cannot be ignored is that women's thinking as male vassals and as weak people is still affecting many people.

Especially some of our usual catchphrases and thinking patterns are exposing women's weaknesses.

And these ideas seem so reasonable and natural that they have subtly influenced generations, but have not been dug out.

Today, let’s analyze 3 typical ideas about the thinking of the weak female and see how they affect us.

1

"I gave him my best years"

Last year, a short essay published by singer Huo Zun's ex-girlfriend Chen Lu ruined Huo Zun's career.

Chen Lu talked about her and Huo Zun in her essay about her years of dating and giving her best youth to this person.

gave up his career and suffered all his grievances for him. As a result, Huo Zun actually wanted to break up with him, so he was in a state of grievance and announced Huo Zun's actions to the world.

But not long after, Chen Lu was slapped in the face. It was revealed that Huo Zun had been spending money for Chen Lu over the years, and Chen Lu could not provide any evidence of spending money for Huo Zun.

But Chen Lu's short composition still ruined Huo Zun's reputation, because everyone hates "Chen Shimei" very much and believes that this is an image of gratitude and revenge and being heartless.

Since a woman has been with a man for several years in her life, this man should not let her down.

But if we analyze it carefully, we will find the subtext behind this sentence: belittlement of women.

"I gave him my best years", what does this sentence mean?

refers to the most precious thing about a woman is not her personality, her insights, her thoughts, but her age.

Her other places are worthless, only age is valuable. What a pathetic woman is this?

In addition, there is a trap in this sentence, as if this woman is at a loss when she is with a man.

The benefits of men are enjoyed. Women have been suffering and suffering, just to achieve the right result in the end, and they are married home by men.

This is very strange. If you only feel pain, grievance and torture when you get along with a man, why don’t you leave early? Is it because someone restricted his personal freedom?

If you are not suffering from getting along with this man, but on the contrary, it is very pleasant. Then in these years, I have gained a lot, gained, cared for and healed, how can I say "the best years have been given to him"?

In other words, this sentence has placed a woman in a weak position that is passive, suffers loss, and suffers. If you agree with this sentence, you agree that you are a weak person.

2

"I paid so much for him"

Many women think that if you love someone, you should do a lot for him and give everything for him.

Some women read books their partners like to read and movies they like to have a common topic with their partners.

Some women are fitness, practicing cooking skills, and learning the outfits and makeup of "good marriage style"...

even changed themselves. They might have been a cool girl, but they turned into a sweet girl. They liked sports and danced out, but gradually they only know how to wash their hands and make soup...

Behind this sentence, it is a typical weak mind:

I am not worthy of being loved, and he will not fall in love with the original me. I have to make a lot of sacrifices for him and become another person for him, so that he may like me.

But in fact, if one person only likes us to become another person, what is the use of such a partner?

It is very tiring to pretend to be another person, and there will always be a day when he can't pretend. Then he will always see your true side.

And for the sake of your partner's favorite, you dress up, exercise, and study, and even put yourself in the position of the other party's accessories.

The true even love is that I want a healthy body to exercise; I want to be in a better mood and learn to wear;

I want to make good food for myself and pamper myself, and study food recipes... and the other party also likes these.

Even if the other party doesn't like it, I insist on doing what I want, not interfere with each other, and maintain independence from each other. If the inappropriate people leave, leave, and the right people will be attracted by me.

This is the love model for the strong to think. Although he will love the other person and want to give for the other person, first put himself in a more important position, satisfy himself, and take care of the other person if there is room for room.

After all, there is only you in the sky and under the earth. If you take good care of yourself, you will take good care of the whole world.

3

"What does he like me"

When a woman meets an ideal lover, her excitement is self-evident, especially this person also likes herself. The relationship that goes to two directions is so exciting.

However, many women will also have a lot of worries while being excited and sweet.

Common ones are: "Will he not like me one day?" or "What does he like me exactly?"

If the two people have a big gap in external conditions, this idea will be even more common.

Women are often happy and worried about gains and losses: He has such good conditions, so who can’t be found, why should he look for me? What did he like about me?

This idea is actually a typical low-value thinking. If you default, you are not as good as the other party, you do not believe that you are worthy of being loved, and you also default to a belief that people must be excellent enough and have superior conditions to be loved.

Netizen Xinxin fell into this vicious circle of thinking.

She has an ordinary family and only works as an ordinary office worker. She was slandered by a rich second-generation representative, which made her feel scared and kept reflecting on what the other party likes and whether she is sincere.

Even the two of them are already married, she is still worried and has a strong sense of unworthiness. The other party spends money on herself and buys expensive gifts. She always feels guilty and refuses.

In order to make herself "worthy" the other party, she took care of all the affairs of the family.

While working, taking on all housework and caring for children and parents-in-law, my husband is happy to be a hand-off manager and do nothing all day long, which makes Xinxin feel very unbalanced.

Ko Xinxin didn't understand that her husband would fall in love with her at the beginning because she was born with the part that attracted the other person. Maybe it was not the family background or the ability to work, but her enthusiasm, innocence, and herself infected the other person like a fire.

And when she focuses on whether she is worthy of the other party's liking, she becomes worried about gains and losses, and instead loses the charm she already has.

In addition to this, there is another trap for this idea: that is, you are afraid of missing this person and try your best to tie this person up.

In fact, a truly matching love does not require you to tie the other person with means. You have your own advantages and he also has his considerations.

If he really doesn't like you, the two of them can't go together at all, and you will also wait for the love that truly belongs to you and suits you.

These common ideas contain many concepts hidden deep in our subconscious.

In the past, the entire society did not respect women enough, which made many seemingly normal but actually abnormal thoughts deeply rooted in people's hearts.

Change destiny, starting with changing a person's thinking patterns and ideas.

Only when we can detect that we are belittling ourselves again from small things. Only by changing this idea can we gain strength little by little psychologically and gain initiative step by step from action. Although the path of

is not easy to walk, I believe that women can eventually break out of their cocoon and become butterflies, grasp their own destiny, and be the "big heroine" in their lives.

Author | Shushui Therapist, has the qualification certificate of psychological counselor of the Chinese Academy of Sciences and the IHNMA International Hypnosis Teacher Certificate, committed to exploring the depth and greatness of human nature.

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