Editor's note: "A person's life cannot be separated from maternal love, just like he cannot leave the earth. Mother is a poem full of hard work, kindness, pride and concern; mother is a teacher of children's walking enlightenment, teaching children how to deal with people; mother is the protective umbrella of children's life, protecting the courage to survive through hardships; mother is a child fighting back against the wind and rain, and returning to the mother's side will be comforted by confusion." - Ai Jun
Mother loves to nag, which is what happened in the past few years. I know that it is all because of her aging.
As the saying goes, when people get older, they are willing to recall and like to nag. My mother was born in the early 1940s. As I remember, the old man accelerated his aging from the age of 70. Because he had a femoral head transplant surgery on his legs six years ago, he had to walk with the walker , and his waist was bent severely, and he looked a little weak. In the eyes of my children, I can no longer see or find the very strong and powerful appearance. Sometimes, I feel sorry for her incompetence and helplessness in my heart.
I know very well that my mother always treats me as a child. Every time she returns home, she keeps asking me if I have eaten? However, she was unable to cook on the pot!
Anyway, my mother became nagging.
1
Mother often nags that her destiny is to be filled with joy. My mother was born in a demobilized military family and was the eldest at home. She also had a younger brother and sister. When her sister was in her teenage years, she unfortunately died of asthma due to . My mother often said that her sister, my aunt, is beautiful and cute, and can work. She died at a young age. It's such a pity. What's even more painful is that my mother often says that grandma only lived to be 55 years old and left. My memory of my grandma's voice and appearance is vague. I only remember that in the year my grandma was sick, in order to relieve the pain, my grandma took the local method to cure her with mulberry branches. My grandma often moaned painfully, which was heartbreaking.
The father was an ordinary farmer. After his mother got married, they participated in the work of the production team together and worked tirelessly to raise three children. Life was peaceful and difficult. Since the 1980s, relying on the good policies of reform and opening up, like thousands of Chinese families, the lives of our family have become increasingly prosperous. The three of us are very successful and have been admitted to universities one after another, which has changed the fate of rural people to "face the loess and back to the sky". The young and old men in the village are both envious and admired, and their mothers feel particularly proud and proud. For a long time after
, mothers often talked about the process of their destiny being bitter and then sweet, and the joy was beyond words.
2
Some people say that a person has a fate with his parents in this life. My mother often nagged that her fate with me was not only special, but also enviable. I gave birth to me on my mother's birthday. In the years that followed, when my mother got older and her children celebrated her birthday, I said more than once that I was benefiting from my mother's enviable "twin birthday".
Gibran once said, “The sweetest word that a person’s lips can make is mother, and the most beautiful call is mother.” Every time I go home, my mother will say that when I was born that year, I lost time and rushed in time, otherwise I would be suffocating it in my stomach.
In the early May of the lunar calendar that year, it was the season when the countryside was busy with wheat harvest. When my father was pushing a rubber wheel truck and taking the midwife over 10 miles away to his home, the midwife was so scared that her face changed color and kept saying, "I have been in my mother's womb for more than a month. If I were one step later, I would definitely be suffocated to death." In this way, although my mother gave birth to naturally, she also suffered a lot of pain and suffered a lot of sins. In that era, midwife wanted anything. When the family only had two dollars, her mother insisted on giving her one dollar and stuffing her two eggs.
Now, my mother has told me more than once when she mentioned this matter, you have to think about going to see the midwife often, and don’t forget others! I agreed casually, and once I couldn't hold it in, so I said loudly that the person had passed away long ago! After so, my mother kept nagging about this matter, and I kept agreeing. To be honest, sometimes I feel a little annoyed, but I don’t show it. I tell myself, just say it, nag it! As long as your mother is happy.
Three
Mother also likes to nag about the scene of living a difficult life at home in the 1960s and 1970s. My parents both had the experience of enduring hunger and hunger in the difficult period of the early 1960s. At that time, my family, like my neighbors, lived a generally hard life. Like most friends, I grew up eating sweet potato dried pancakes. My neighbor's homemade bean paste or pickled pickles always feel better than my own, so I skewed Baijiamen, and at that time, I visited my family like I went to my own house, and I ate this and that.
I remember since I was a child that every time my mother cooked, she would use a small spoon to scoop one or two spoons from an old-fashioned oil jar. Although there is little oil, it feels very fragrant just like eating sesame oil. In the future, when the conditions at home improved, the peanut oil was packed into a bucket, so I poured it directly into the pot from the small bundle of the packed bucket. I also understood the principle that it would be more fragrant to stir-fry with more oil. I don’t talk about the difficulties in normal times, and holidays are no exception. Only during festivals can food and clothing be improved. One Mid-Autumn Festival, after school in the afternoon, I went to the convenience store and my neighbor's house several times. Seeing the red and green silk in the mooncakes, I was so hungry that I urged my mother to go buy mooncakes over and over again, but the family really had no money to buy them. In the end, my mother bought a few peach pastries for the holiday, and she coaxed us to say that it was because we went too late. We were so sweet when we were facing the round moon.
Nowadays, the Mid-Autumn Festival is not yet available every year, and the house is filled with a wide range of mooncakes, and my mother can't help but nag about the helplessness of not being able to afford mooncakes that year.
“Women are fragile, but maternal love is strong.”
Although poverty is engraved in the depths of memory, my mother’s strength and careful care have made my childhood innocent, happy and happy. As I remember, my grandma was in poor health and needed her mother's care, so I grew up in my grandma's house since I can remember. This place is only four or five miles away from our village. The orchards in the mountains have left my footprints; the vegetable fields by the water have also left my laughter.
At that time, every summer, I saw my friends swimming like fish in the water, my dream was to learn to swim. I have been fond of exciting games since I was a child and love to play with water. Once I slid into a well in the vegetable garden, but fortunately I was rescued by the nearby adults in time. I made up my mind to learn swimming. In addition to finding opportunities to learn from my friends, I also learned from my father. But my father told me lightly, "If I don't dare to go into the water, I will never be able to water. If I flood a few more times or choke a few times, I will naturally get it!" In this way, from shallow water to deep water, from the river to the pond, from " dog scattering ", and then to " backstroke , step on water and diving ", etc. During this process, I suffered a few times, and I even struggled in the water and almost drank full of water. Every time, I was fortunately lifted up by the adults in time. Once, I was choked for a long time and didn't wake up, so my mother who rushed to the rescue site was so scared that she collapsed to the ground. Fortunately, she was shocked and safe. It is difficult to become a Buddha without going through hardships! As my father said, after the experience of choking and drowning, I quickly became a well-known swimming expert in our area!
When I was a child, what I remember most was that I often went to school barefoot in summer and there were not many new clothes. Sometimes, my mother slightly changed my sister's jacket and put it on my body and put it on my body. A family who wears them from head to toe, in a family that is short of money and materials, rely entirely on the mother's intelligent mind, clever hands, and her hard work. In the midday autumn sun or the evening of autumn moon, they can always keep warm clothes for the whole family when the autumn rain hits the cold weather. In terms of eating, I often use dried melons to eat rice.Because of my parents' hard work, the three of us siblings have never been hungry. Especially I like to eat rice. Because of this reason, I have always been favored by my parents. I often use a proverb to say, "Don't look at the yellow hair, I will definitely eat good things when I grow up." When I really grew up, I realized that it was the expectation of my parents for the next generation. Eating and clothing became the simplest wish of that period of material scarcity.
4
My mother often nagged that although she was short of everything at that time, her ability and family management were well-known far and wide.
I was born in a small mountain village surrounded by rivers on three sides and backed by mountains. The clear water of the Wen River nourishes this alluvial plain and gives the people here the hardworking and simple quality. "From the Ming Dynasty, the descendants have reproduced." In the later genealogy collection activity, I learned that my ancestors came from other places since the Jiajing period of the Ming Dynasty and specially selected this treasure land surrounded by mountains and rivers.
Where there is water, there is spiritual energy.
Although parents are farmers, they have extraordinary intelligence like the water surrounding the small mountain village. In my memory, when I was in elementary school, I vaguely saw two black and white photos of my mother for the first time. The mother in the photo has a beautiful face. One picture has a thick and long braid, and the other picture has short hair that is tucked into the ears. Although her styles are different, she looks very energetic and very delicate. My mother has a high-end education. People in the village praised her for her skillfulness and ability to cut paper, but also her "insole paintings" with good skills. When most girls and wives in the village embroider the insoles, they would come to my house to ask my mother to draw "paintings" such as "peony" and "plum blossoms". My mother always enjoys it. My father didn't know much about reading, so he could only write his name in a crooked way, but in the production team, he was a good at keeping accounts. I think this may be the three of us siblings who benefited from our parents' genetic gene .
When my mother got married and separated, because of her poverty and her father's brothers, she only got an old house passed down from her ancestors. As the saying goes, "If you don't have good shoes, you're half poor." In the village, if you don't have a good house to live in, you will naturally be half shorter than others. They did not complain about the world. His father took advantage of the slack season in winter to get up early and go to the stone pond in the north of the village to lift stones, and pushed them home one by one. His hands were worn out and his legs were tired and swollen, and he ignored them. My mother was responsible for the logistics support for building the house, and successfully built two main halls facing north and south in the second year. Even though the cover was flipped, every stone that condensed the sweat of their parents always became their pride. As far as I can remember, my mother often said that these two stone houses were the result of the two men working hard to get up early and work late, bleeding and sweating. The hard work of their parents made the villagers admire them.
Dante once said, "There is a most beautiful voice in the world, and that is the call of the mother."
Mother is a family-runner and she is a very clean person. Every morning, after she finished her farm work, she would wipe the table and stools, and then quickly enter the kitchen to prepare breakfast for the whole family. Then, he started to clean the yard with a broom. The well-behaved little cat ran to the side meowing and danced happily with the broom that his mother waved. The big white goose next to him was not willing to be outdone. While shouting, he spread his white wings to create a wonderful picture of the farm life.
As the hot meal was served, the mother urged the children to have a meal, and the small yard suddenly had a strong smell of fireworks. Which crops should be fertilized, which field should be planted with sweet potatoes should be turned, and the weeds that grow wildly in the field should be hoeed. In this way, I planned it at the breakfast table. After the meal, my father went to the field to work according to the actual situation. The lunch meal seemed not so standard. If the children were hungry, they would find some delicious food. As the main labor force, the father who came back from the field always had scrambled eggs or other hot dishes waiting.
I remember that every time the wheat harvest season or when the melons are dried in autumn, the family will deliver meals to the field; as usual, dinner is a family of old and young sit together, the atmosphere is relaxed, and the harvest and experience of the day of labor, and talk about interesting things about the people and families. Sometimes adults make us run around the dining table, giggling and singing, and having fun too much. If you accidentally fall a dog to eat mud, it will inevitably lead to the weather "turning from sunny to cloudy" and crying loudly. At this time, you have to coax it for a while. Every time it is spring and autumn , it is the most delicious when you carry the dining table to the yard to eat. After school, our group of children ran wildly on the street or played hide-and-seek in haystacks. When they played, they forgot the time, and their mother called her home in the night.
5
“The way is inaction, the highest good is like water.” My mother does not understand profound theories, but her kindness is notorious. This has also become a topic that mothers love to nag.
When I was a child, I was recognized as a "naughty devil" in the village, and my mother was worried about me. Sometimes, my wife was carrying water to go home to make pancakes, and I secretly followed behind, put cow dung or trash in the bucket, and then ran away; my neighbor's children were eating rare steamed buns, but they would suddenly be "robbed" by me when I was playing hide-and-seek; when I was playing hide-and-seek, my friend was pushed to the ground by me, and my nose was blue and swollen... So, my mother carefully compensated for a lot of things, and she had to often take some rare things such as eggs and brown sugar to the neighbor's house to make peace.
At that time, I remembered that the storytellers in the village lived in my house, and the boss had a jar of rice and a stack of pancakes from the west. My mother kept the general account and cooked them for free. I have loved listening and reading since I was a child. In the sound of the sonorous fishing drum , the " Yang Family General " gallops on the battlefield, the three axes of " Cheng Yaojin ", the silver spear turns " Luo Cheng ", and the magical Zhuge Liang and other historical figures or plots. "There is a golden house in the book, and the beautiful woman in the book." I think it was the earliest enlightenment for me.
Since then, in my young heart, I have set the goal of going to school well to achieve success in the future. A lame old man who made friends with his father in the market lived in our house for more than half a month. His mother served the meals and never complained. An old sister-in-law from a neighbor's neighbor's family was not well off and ran to our house in winter with snow. My mother hurriedly served hot meals, which moved her to tears, and she was talking about good people's words of reward.
Mother often says that in life, as long as you do good deeds and accumulate virtue, you will definitely get good returns.
6
People in the village admire their mother for her long-term vision, which is also what she likes to nag the most. In the 1980s, reform and opening up was like a spring breeze blowing towards the earth. My mother has a keen eye and seizes the opportunity to challenge her destiny. My parents’ plan is actually what the countryside says will be very clear.
implements the household contract responsibility system. After the land is divided into households, the father takes care of the crops like serving his own children. He always feels like he is full of energy. During the dog days, my father was weeding the cornfield with his back and the hot sun, but he didn't let us help. He was very content to watch us do his homework and study. His bronze face and shiny back were peeled off by the sun. Although he was not tall, I thought he was very tall.
In addition to planting good contracted land, he also enjoyed it and went to the river beach to clear land, and opened more than 10 acres at once. The cows he fed were also very successful, and he successively laid several calves . During the work, except for farm work such as the ox-piercing land, which is purely a man's labor force, the mother never left behind to show weakness. In the fields of harvest, they always left their hard work.
Seeing the general situation of market liberalization at that time, my mother and father discussed ideas to do a small business.As a farmer, he had no big way to start with the food around him. In order to sell dried sweet potatoes for two cents more than 80 kilometers at three or four o'clock in the morning, his father rode a bicycle on the " Big Jinlu " bicycle to Linyi for more than 80 kilometers. When he came back, he brought more than 100 kilograms of celery to the market to sell it. The difference of price per kilogram was a few cents. Once, his father rode his bicycle to Heze to sell mung beans. His mother insisted on going together. He went back and forth for more than 10 days. The two of them rode their bicycles and carried more than 300 kilograms of goods along the way. They ate their own pancakes and pickles along the way. They made less than 50 yuan in total, but they were happy.
At that time, although our family had contracted land, our family had the least labor force. When my sister repeated the high school year that year, her parents were under the pressure. The neighbor advised them to just pull the child down to do farm work, but the mother shook her head and disagreed. Once, because my younger brother had to pay 7 yuan in tuition to go to school, and there was really no at home, she wanted to borrow it. I clearly remember one winter, my mother got up early in the morning, faced the wind and snow, rode her bicycle to a school more than 20 miles away, and gave me a week's meal to live in the school. She fell several times on the road.
The mother also said that once in the most difficult time, the father went to the village loan officer to apply for a loan of 30 yuan for the sake of his child's tuition. The loan officer ridiculed the father and said that if the child did not have to go home to work as a banker after school? But they are stubborn and firmly disagree.
At that time, parents had a wish: as long as their children were willing to go to school, they would be able to sell their money! It is in this positive context that the three of us siblings encouraged each other and realized our dreams one after another.
Soon, my mother discovered a business opportunity. While drawing insoles for the village girl’s wife, she tentatively embroidered the “tops” on both sides of the pillow with various red, yellow, purple silk threads. It was popular at that time, and sometimes she would embroider until the early morning to earn a few cents. Although she made money like this, she took too much effort. She had a clever idea, so why not transfer and processing? So her mother found some skillful girls and wives in the village, asked them to embroider, and then recycled them to sell them together. In order to save time, she innovatively bought several pigments, copied and wrote "Flowers Blooming and Wealth", "Happiness and Good Luck" and so on, replacing hand embroidery and was very popular in the market.
Later, my mother took a bus to Linyi Wholesale Market to purchase various "flower lines" for distribution, and it took a whole day. From then on, my mother has worked for more than ten years. In her words, she becomes more and more addicted. During the five-day market trip in the countryside, she calculated the dates of one, three, five, two, four, and six, and set up stalls in the market almost every day. Of course, there were also times when there were difficulties. Once, my mother still remembered it freshly. She rode her bicycle to the market for more than 70 miles, and only sold it for 70 cents a day. Because my mother was engaged in business, her business gradually improved. She earned more than 10 yuan per episode in the future. In the 1980s, this was undoubtedly a considerable amount of money.
7
Gorky’s famous saying about his mother, “All the glory and pride in the world come from the mother. Mother’s love is a kind of strength and a responsibility.”
Although parents were sick and misfortune in their later years, they were also happy. The tall people in their hearts are getting older, and we, as children, feel sorry for each other and are filial to our hearts and souls. For a long time, my sister and brother-in-law took the old couple to their house. Not only did they have good food and clothing, but they also took them to big cities such as Beijing and Shanghai and famous mountains and rivers to open their horizons and gain insights. During the holidays, sons, daughters-in-law, grandchildren and others gather together, and they are happy and can feel the contentment and joy of their parents.
Social development and change are changing with each passing day. In ordinary life, they have their greatest spiritual pillar: that is, their children have grown up. Over the years, their children have started their work, started their families and had children. The conditions of each small family have also become better and better with the development of the times.Sometimes, because of too busy work and not taking care of it properly, the mother not only never complains, but also often instructs her children: be careful when she is doing her own business, and the affairs of the unit and the country are important!
Hugo once said, "Mother is an endless book, and mother is an endless distant mountain."
Mother affects all aspects of children, making us confident and open-minded in life. Although her mother is extremely reluctant, her current situation is that she is becoming more and more nagging, even if she needs other people's care for her in her daily life. Today, when you can buy online at any time and have complete household appliances, the topics my mother nagging about have become history. Faced with the progress of society, I think that the difficult life experience she nagged is filled with the strength of struggle. Isn’t this how history comes about? It is very necessary to let young people know the lives they have experienced, so as to cherish the various beauty of the new era.
A few days ago, I read , a book written by Mr. Yang Jiang at the age of 96, " Going to the Edge of Life ", and I have a lot of insights. The book says: "Human nature is inherently good, and its spirituality and kindness are born, and filial piety is the first priority for all virtues, so don't leave any regrets." Yes, life is short, and people often lament the pain of "children want to support their parents but their parents are not waiting for them"... And from now on, especially in their old age when their parents are old, they have a sense of respect and filial piety that "it is never too late to respect their parents". Starting from small things and every bit of daily life, there will be no regrets!
Through my mother’s nagging, I deeply feel the progress of the country and society, and I deeply realize that as a child, only by loving work and life with all my heart and affection, respecting parents and being grateful to society can life be calm, free and happy. Thinking of this year's hit drama " People in the World ", I understand the hardworking, kindness, hard work and unchanging original intention of my parents, and the unchanging intention of ordinary people, and the unyielding and strongness of their daily lives in the face of difficulties and twists and turns, and I feel the beauty of their human nature of favoring their families and raising their children!
“When my mother was old, listen to her talk about her childhood slowly”, this kind of true feelings in the ordinary, warmth in the ordinary, and fireworks in the ordinary are actually the inheritance and innovation of the excellent traditional Chinese culture, and it is also a valuable spiritual wealth. It will also inspire people to constantly practice the core values of upward and goodness, move forward bravely, and move forward steadily.
Mao Dun said, “My first enlightenment teacher was my mother,” Lu Xun said, “Mother is great.”
Mother is always ordinary and great!
(Author: Xue Jie, Cyberspace Affairs Office of Linyi Municipal Committee of the Communist Party of China)
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