She is sick—the woman I have hurt. I have been her husband's lover and have given birth to children for her husband. To be precise, I should be her eternal enemy. But she didn't do that. She treated me kindly, treating a mixed-race woman from China and Russia. With the strength u

She is sick-this woman I have hurt. I have been her husband's lover and have given birth to children for her husband. To be precise, I should be her eternal enemy. 

But she didn't do that. She treated me kindly, treating a mixed-race woman from China and Russia. With the strength unique to our nation, I once possessed her husband domineeringly. During those days, we often went out to perform together, which provided too many convenient conditions for our affair. He is a very charming man, talented, humorous, and very delicate. It can be said that men like him are the objects that many women are fascinated by. But such an excellent man does not belong to me, but to another woman. And I know that she is not outstanding, at least compared to me, she is very average. I am the pillar of the song and dance troupe. I can sing all the good songs from the two ethnic groups of China and Russia. I have so many listeners and audiences. And what does she have? What does she rely on to attract this excellent man in front of her? So, I must let him belong to me. 

So during those days, I tried my best to pursue him, be kind to him, and give him all the tenderness and love of a woman. At first he insisted on keeping a distance from me, but over time, he couldn't control himself. Is it true? How can a passionate and talented man withstand the bombardment of a passionate, gentle and beautiful woman? He is the same, he is not the saint mentioned in ancient Chinese books. So, he was quickly captured by me - in just one month, I successfully led him to my bed. I gave him my first time without any stinginess. How happy I am to give a woman's first time to someone I like. With the first time, there was the second time, the third time... Until later, he deceived his wife for various reasons, and hanged with me. 

Our passion is burning all the time. Except for the performance, we almost always soak together, like two pieces of glue, no one can break us apart. How wonderful those days were, I saw with my own eyes a man who could leave his family behind and mingle with his lover. But how can I tolerate a man not entirely belonging to me for a long time? I cannot always satisfy my lover to be a man with a married man. I have to make him my husband, and that is my final victory. So, I began to tighten the chains in my hands, and I wanted to tie him into my arms step by step. 

But when I really made this request, he backed down. One night, when I asked him this question very seriously, he said, "I can't marry you, I can't treacherously abandon my wife and marry you. Isn't we so good?" His words deeply hurt me, especially when he said - Is we so bad? How can we do this? Could it be that I will always be his lover? That is absolutely impossible. I told him very toughly: "You have to divorce and then marry me. Otherwise, none of us will have a good life." He did not agree to me, nor did he agree because of my intimidation. He said coldly: "It is absolutely impossible to let me divorce. If you don't want to do this, we will stop here and stop interacting from now on."

Listen to what he said, he can say resolutely that we can stop here. A man! It’s really like an animal. How can a relationship be stopped just by stopping? Are women just playthings that can be called around at will? How could I allow a man to play with me like this? So I beat him, grabbed him, tore his clothes, and even put a knife on my neck to threaten him. If I didn't marry me, I would wait to collect my body. He was finally scared and promised to do his wife's job for a while and marry me immediately after the divorce. I believed what he said because I was confident in the relationship between us—he must have loved me. But I was wrong. He promised me, but he just held me back for the time being. He could not let me cause trouble, and he could continue to have me.

man! He is very good at striking their wishful thinking. Half a year later, I asked him how he was doing his job, but he said he had to wait a little longer because his wife was hospitalized. I didn't make things difficult for him. I promised to wait another half a year. If he didn't divorce and marry me in half a year, he would witness my death. He still agreed immediately and vowed to have a cute child when he got married. I believed him again, but the result was still the same as the first time. He did not divorce, nor did he make plans to marry me. He is still the same. 

So, I talked to him solemnly again.

It was a cold night, and it was snowing outside. The snow was too heavy, and there were snowflakes flying between the world. Large swaths of snow connect the world into one, blocking us. I suddenly felt strange to the man sitting in front of me. He was the same as the passion and openness he had at the time: he was evasive, deceived, and fooled me with hypocritical oaths. I've seen through his tricks long ago. I said to him hysterically, "If you don't take action, then I will take my measures." But he replied slowly, "If you want to kill, you should cut off whatever you want, I will have my life. If you want it, take it."

I was dumb. What was he saying? Even if I sacrificed my life, I just didn’t get a divorce. Isn't he playing with me? How could I tolerate a man trampling on my soul like this? So I chose to sue. I found the leader of the singing and dancing troupe and sued him for the sins of this man. This incident spread quickly in Taiwan. He was punished and wrote a review. I also transferred from the singing and dancing troupe and went to a research institute. But I didn't go to work right away, but instead recuperated at home for more than a year. 

Actually, I am not recuperating, I am pregnant. But no one told me about pregnancy. I want to give birth to his child quietly. What should I do when I see it? I can't just let him live a peaceful life, I want to achieve my goal - let him divorce and choose me. 

Things have developed to this point, and love has gradually faded away. Everything is for revenge, everything is for resentment. 

Once love is mixed with hate, it becomes cold and creepy. 

It is already difficult for me to control my emotions, and I feel hatred in my heart; my mind is filled with joy in revenge. 

Ten months later I gave birth to a girl - this tool for my revenge. She came to this world to help me. How grateful I am to her for coming on time! Her dad is about to pay the price for what she has done. 

I went to his house to find her lover - I held my daughter. I want his wife to know about this first, and then start a family war in his family, making it impossible for him to end, and there is no chance to lie or explain. 

But to my surprise, this woman is so surprising. She did not have the hysteria I imagined, but instead spoke with me and chatted with me gently. She was so kind, she said that if her husband chose me, she would have no complaints and would divorce him immediately to help us. How could there be such a generous woman in this world? I couldn't believe my eyes. But this is another fact.

When I went to his house the second time, she was more enthusiastic than the last time. No, it is not enthusiasm, it is warmth, it is the understanding and care of women. Facing her, I feel humble and dirty. I feel ashamed. I always thought that this woman would be my biggest enemy and would use all means to deal with me and insult me. That's not the case. Instead, she used love to comfort me and relieve me. The more she did, the stronger my self-blame became. I couldn't even say a word, I was just crying, just crying. I can no longer make things difficult for her and break up her family. 

All the bone-bone hatred for this man was calmed down because of his wife's love. I didn't forgive him, but I had no reason to make things difficult for this kind woman.

But I am not married yet, how can I live with my daughter? This is too bad for the child's growth. After thinking about it, I decided to give my daughter, of course, the blood of this man, to them to raise - they are suffering from the inability to give birth. I think this method is better. But my daughter was pushed out by me as soon as she was born, which was a bit too inhumane. However, if I don't do this, what's the best way? I want to give my child a healthy family environment and let her grow up healthily and happily. 

So, my children became their pearl in their eyes. That woman, that kind woman, was so kind to the child that she almost gave her all her strength to care for her, educate her, and cultivate her. This makes me feel at ease and my children are happy. Because having such a kind mother by her side is better and happier than being by my side. 

I buried my hatred for that man deeply in my heart; I used my gratitude to this woman to tell myself that there is still love in this world. And my child, I look forward to her growing up healthily and becoming a useful person in the future. 

This is my strength to survive. 

is retribution? This man, this man who played with me, died miserably because he was fooled with another woman in the car. They were smoky and died naked in the car. Isn’t this retribution? It is precisely because of him that I have been living in depression and in the abyss of self-blame, and I have never been able to raise my head for many years. Now he is dead, he dies so dirty, and he dies so shamelessly!

But my daughter has no dad anymore. His death made me feel resentful, but his death made me feel more worried - my daughter has no father anymore. 

Is this my daughter’s fate? Are you destined to be destined to be without a father? 

is impossible. But, that's exactly what's happening. 

I didn’t attend his funeral. But that day I was very upset and couldn't do anything, and I always lost my temper. That day was also black for me. He turned into a wisp of blue smoke and became dust. So is the hatred between us over? 

should end. All hatred should end in the moment a person goes away, and the living should live and breathe with love. 

Like that kind woman, she has too many reasons to hate, but she doesn't. She is raising my daughter, the daughter I gave birth to when I had an affair with her man. 

Compared to her, what reasons do I have to hate? 

After he died, I once looked for her. I discussed with her that we would raise this child together and we would bear all the expenses. But she refused. She said that this child is our common daughter and I can come to see her at any time, but I won’t let me get a penny. I know her temper, and what she decides has her own reasons and reasons. I can't make things difficult for her, let alone fight with her. Since this child is given to her, it will always belong to her. I'll be very happy as long as I can take a look from a distance. 

I have to do this, so it may be fairer to her. 

So I chose to stay away and I no longer appeared in her life. There were several times when I missed my child too much and wanted to look at her so I went to my child’s school, took a distance when she was after school, and then hurriedly left. 

How can mothers not understand their emotions? The same is true for her. This kind woman, an angel-like woman, once asked me to go to dinner with her and her children, and by the way, I also approached the children. I politely declined her kindness. I can't do that. I am afraid that my feelings will not be controlled and I can no longer do anything to hurt this woman. Because she only has this child, she is even colder than me in her life because she has experienced too much pain.

The child is growing up day by day, and she is more and more like me, just like my copy.My daughter! My daughter with my blood flowing in her body! If you know the truth in the future, will you forgive me? Will you forgive me, a mother who has done something wrong and cannot repent for the rest of her life? 

I have no chance to compensate, and I have not given her the chance to love - my daughter. She went abroad to study and went to my hometown - Ukraine. My daughter went to my hometown. 

From then on, there was another lonely woman in this city. That kind woman lives alone in a cold life. She is just like me, lonely, lonely, but lonely, and opens lonely.

I once went to see her and brought her 100,000 yuan - this is what I saved from spending so many years. I want to give this money to her to raise children. I can't let her bear it alone. I am also a mother, and I have this obligation. Although, I am no longer nominally the mother of the child. 

She rejected my money. She said that as long as we all live well. 

As long as we live well - how difficult is this? It is difficult for a guilty woman to live easily. Except for her conscience, she has lost all her conscience. 

Now, when we are all over forty years and thought we were enjoying life and living a peaceful life, she got cancer - she was about to reach the end of her life. 

Fate always hits kind people with a head blow. 

I didn’t remember until I knew she was sick and until I knew she was terminally ill, that I never apologized to her. I haven't really said it - sorry. I must confess again and let her truly forgive me. 

A solemn apology and a repentance in a strict sense must be carried out face to face with her. So I chose to find her, and the scholars accompanied me. I brought the money I prepared again, and I said that the money was used to treat her - I came from the heart, because there is a connection between our lives - our daughter. 

She still refused. She is already terminally ill, but she is still strong and calm. 

Author Profile

Liu Jixiang , is an expert in the expert database of the Expert Committee of the National Tourism Scenic Area Association, an expert in the Cultural Tourism Expert Group of the Heilongjiang Provincial Science and Technology Economic Advisory Committee, a member of the Heilongjiang Provincial Tourism Resource Quality Rating Assessment Committee, a member of the Heilongjiang Provincial Writers Association member, and a member of the Harbin Writers Association Plenary Committee.

has experience in educated youth, military and civil servants in party and government organs. He has been reading, writing and reciting for decades, and has created and published many novels, "The Lights Deep in the Dark Clouds", "Heart Crying", "Cymbidium", "Watercolor Painting", "Mountains Far Away", "Female Bandit Head", "Instructor", "Squadron", "Golden Force", and cultural tourism works "Flooded in the Long Time", "Pearl of the Dragon River", "The Legend of the Sun Island", "Ice and Snow Score", etc. Pursuing "every article has no empty text, every sentence must be fully regulated", firmly believe that "reading and making works, and making new things" is creation and contribution.

reportage literature "A piece of pure gold" won the first prize in the People's Liberation Army Daily, the documentary literature "Golden Soul" was regarded as an educational textbook for the hard work of the golden troops. The novel "Life in the Mountains and Wilds" and "Watching Soul" won the first prize in the "Armed Police Literature and Art Award", the novel "Poor" won the 9th "Swan Literature and Art Award", the short story "Killing Night" won the silver award of the "Haiyan" magazine's popularity award, the novel "Heart Cry" was collected by the China Contemporary Literature Museum, and "Ice and Snow Poetry" became a reference book for ice and snow cultural tourism.

lectured at the "Longjiang Forum" and "Harbin Forum" many times, and his speeches on truth, goodness and beauty won first and second prizes in the State Organs Working Committee and the troops. The TV landscape films "Longjiang Pearl" and "River Snow" planned and produced by the author won the first prize in the National Cultural Tourism Expo.