Regarding marriage, the writer Flaubert once said this:
In love, people can forgive serious imprudence, but they cannot forgive those disloyalty.
It is true that love has the characteristics of exclusive . A person who is addicted to love can tolerate the willfulness and act spoiled by his partner, but he cannot tolerate the betrayal of his partner.
If a couple wants to obtain a happy and stable marriage relationship, they must be loyal to each other. This is the basis for the couple to love and trust each other.
But in real life, some people do not understand this truth. Whenever they encounter unsatisfactory things in their marriage life, they will not choose to resolve differences with their partners through communication. Instead, they will choose to betray their marriage and find their ideal love outside of marriage.
Little do people know that the wrong behavior of betraying marriage is not only not helpful in solving the problems in marriage, but also makes the gap between you and your marriage partner deeper and deeper, making your originally happy and complete family fragmented.
Chen Hua (pseudonym) and his wife Su Mei (pseudonym) have been married for 6 years. They have a 4-year-old son together. Their lives were originally dull and happy, but something that has happened recently has made the relationship between the couple become in harmony and quarrels.
It turns out that Su Mei loves sex and always can't keep all her thoughts at home. She goes out all day long and mingles with her friends, often not returning home all night, and even does something to betray her marriage, which makes Chen Hua unbearable, so Chen Hua attacks Su Mei in an quarrel, which almost cools down the relationship between the two to freezing point.
Chen Hua also seemed very regretful when talking about his wife. He said bluntly that I can tolerate everything about her (Su Mei), but how can I tolerate betrayal?
But when facing her husband's mistake, Su Mei was indifferent. Although she admitted that she betrayed her marriage, she blamed her husband for her betrayal and said bluntly that it was because Chen Hua was not good to her that he would seek comfort outside of marriage. Su Mei even threatened that she had no feelings for Chen Hua anymore.
Since there is no relationship, why did Su Mei live with Chen Hua for 6 years?
it turned out that Su Mei had a failed marriage. Six years ago, when she and her husband came here from their hometown to work, they met Chen Hua in the labor market.
At that time, Su Mei was working in a factory and she was very tired from work. Her husband felt that it would be better to go home to work than to work when working outside, but Su Mei was determined to stay in the city.
The husband's behavior of going home alone made Su Mei feel very angry. She felt that her husband was a dissatisfied person. In anger, Su Mei chose to be with Chen Hua.
It is precisely because Su Mei had had the experience of betraying her relationship that Chen Hua is now even more worried that Su Mei will find a new love and leave him.
But since Su Mei and Chen Hua have gone through such a difficult relationship, why don’t they know how to cherish it?
It turns out that Su Mei had a child with her ex-husband. After she married Chen Hua, she didn't want to have another child, but she still couldn't help but Chen Hua's persistence and gave birth to another child. After the child was born, Chen Hua ignored the child, which made Su Mei think that Chen Hua did not really love the child, but just wanted to tie her up with this child.
Whenever Su Mei wants to go back to her hometown to visit her ex-husband’s children, Chen Hua will show strong opposition, which also makes Su Mei feel depressed, so Su Mei takes a way to indulge herself to relieve depression.
What Su Mei did not expect was that Chen Hua not only did not understand her depression, but instead did something that she could not forgive. In order to prevent Su Mei from going out again, Chen Hua actually cut off Su Mei's long hair with scissors in the middle of the night while Su Mei was sleeping.
After experiencing this, Su Mei could no longer bear Chen Hua. Every time she looked in the mirror and wig, she felt very wronged. In order to revenge Chen Hua, she betrayed her marriage.
Once, Su Mei went out to have dinner with her friend of the opposite sex and did not return all night. After she returned home in the morning, the first thing she did was to take a shower. Chen Hua became more and more angry about Su Mei's actions. In anger, he made a ridiculous act. He actually pushed Su Mei, who was taking a bath, out of the door.
Recalling this scene, Su Mei was ashamed. She said that there was a male neighbor in the neighbor's house at at that time, and when she saw her, she immediately closed the door.
These several consecutive things made Su Mei unable to forgive Chen Hua again. She said bluntly that she had been with any man she had been with was better than being with Chen Hua.
After hearing this, the mediator also thought that Chen Hua had done too much. Isn’t it better to do such a thing to his wife?
, but Chen Hua defended that this was because he loved Sumei too much. He was worried about losing Sumei, so he did those ridiculous wrong behaviors. He still loved Sumei and promised to correct his shortcomings.
Seeing that Su Mei still had no expression on her face to get back with him, Chen Hua said, since you don’t want to be with me, why are you spending so much money on me?
In response to this, Su Mei said, I have never taken the initiative to ask for it. You bought it for me yourself, a ring, a necklace, and a mobile phone. I can give it back to you now.
Chen Hua said that he has been working for Su Mei for many years. If Su Mei wants to leave him, she will have to compensate him at least 100,000 yuan.
From Chen Hua's tone, the mediator heard that Chen Hua did not really want the 100,000 yuan. He just wanted to use this excuse to keep Su Mei.
mediator then decided to persuade Su Mei again. should be cautious in dealing with feelings and not emotional. If you are willful in your relationship, you will inevitably end up in a dilemma of having nowhere to rely on.
After persuasion, Su Mei promised to give Chen Hua another chance. During this period, Chen Hua must not do anything too much, and Su Mei will be loyal to the marriage. If the two violate their promises to each other, then there will be no room for regaining their relationship.
Chen Hua happily accepted this. At this point, the marriage story between Su Mei and Chen Hua was declared to be over.
Emotional Analysis:
The more you treat emotional problems that easily touch our heartstrings, the more you need to maintain a rational heart and treat emotional problems with emotion and impulse. This is not only a tragedy for a person, but also a tragedy for a family.
Sume is a woman who is easily emotional when encountering problems. She will easily betray her marriage under the fluctuations of her emotions. Her behavior not only hurts herself, but also makes her husband who loves her fall into the abyss of pain and cannot extricate herself.
But Chen Hua is also an irrational behavior. Faced with his wife's betrayal, he performed absurd behavior that was more extreme than his wife, which made his wife feel ashamed in front of his neighbors and lost her dignity as a person.
Chen Hua believes that this is her stress response to Su Mei’s love to the extreme. She can use the behavior of hurting a person to express her love for this person. The final outcome may only make her distance from the other party farther and farther away.
In a marriage relationship, couples should regard each other as closest people. When they have conflicts in their marriage life, they should also rationally resolve the differences between the two within the family through communication and communication, instead of punishing each other by betraying their marriage. Some paths, once they take the wrong path, they cannot turn back.
Marriage needs to be managed. Only when husband and wife can be loyal and cared for each other can they jointly create a happy marriage life.
(Image from the Internet, please delete if infringement)
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