Some people say that they are not married, or they are not married yet, because they have not met the person who can make them fall in love with each other. Some people think that marriage can be without material things, but cannot be without love.
In many people's minds, love is the only thing worth sticking to in marriage.
But in fact, love is a very subjective feeling. Many times, what we feel is not necessarily true love, maybe it is just the love we expect, the imagined one. Because of our initial heartbeat, we put filters on each other, so that even if we see some unreasonable performances of the other party, it will automatically rationalize.
As the saying goes, "the authorities are confused", this is the state.
This is why many women still live a happy life even though they have married love.
Because they are confused by love, they ignore the essence of human beings.
Character is the foundation of a person's life. If a person's character is not good, he will not be able to withstand the test of reality. After two people get along for a long time and lose their initial feelings, they will see the true side of each other.
And this is the beginning of testing whether a relationship is true love.
Therefore, when choosing an object, don’t be blinded by emotions. It is wise and necessary for men to stay away from these three manifestations:
01: Being angry and embarrassed, solve problems violently
Whenever violent news appears, there will always be such remarks in the comment area, saying that the hitter is forced, because the woman has done unforgivable things, and there must be a reason for the matter, and the woman deserves to be beaten.
In addition, they condemn men's violence, but advise women to speak more gently in the future and not to easily anger men, as if the person who is wrong is not the perpetrator, but the victim.
In fact, the fundamental reason why a person violently solves problems is not the way the victim speaks or acts, but the person's self-control and thinking logic ability.
Some people usually look positive and have good character, but they are very stubborn and paranoid, and are easily emotional. If others advise them to calm down and learn to think from the perspective of others, they will think that it is to make him admit his mistake and surrender to others.
Once you encounter a problem that you cannot solve, you will easily have extreme thoughts and become angry, and then do some behaviors that hurt others or even hurt yourself to avoid the face. You subconsciously believe that the other party will succumb to your own violent behavior, or think that the other party will be soft-hearted because of his self-harm behavior, and thus succumb to him.
And for these two behaviors, they will put it in the name of love and say that they love you deeply and have no choice but to do it.
Such love will continue to consume you and make you lose yourself.
Many people don’t understand why those women who have been abused for a long time do not choose to divorce? Don't run away? Because they have lost the instinct of self-love, and in the process of domestic violence, their self-recognition may be constantly weakened, and they will be brainwashed. I really think that a man’s behavior is to love her. They will think that one day they will be able to move men, but they do not know that before that day, they have lost the ability to control their lives and even lost their lives.
So, when selecting an object, you must stay away from such men.
2: Always be filial, actually pushing the mistakes to parents
"Mama's boy" has always been criticized. Many women often change their tempers towards such men and resist from the bottom of their hearts, thinking that such men have no opinions and are not clear. In fact, there is a kind of man who is just a mama's boy on the surface, but is actually very smart.
Mama boy is just a disguise for them to hide themselves. They are truly selfish and pretend to be mama boys, but they are just to put the blame on their parents and do not want to take responsibility. People like
do not understand what marriage is, nor do they understand what love and responsibility are.
To put it nicely, he is a child who has not grown up. He only knows how to enjoy and never thinks about giving. In fact, he is selfish.
When a wife and her mother have a conflict, they will say, "I love you, but I can't be sorry to my mother. It's not easy for my mother to raise me." It seems that it doesn't matter to me, and they are innocent victims. The reason why they make such a decision is because their parents force themselves.
ignores the feelings of others and uses other people's emotions to fulfill their own filial piety. This is not true filial piety or true love, but complete selfishness. Men not only gain emotional value, but also maintain their reputation for filial piety.
If you are really filial, how can you put the blame on your parents? If you really think that your parents are wrong, and you really love your daughter, you can openly and have a good talk with your parents. In the final analysis, it is just selfish and unwilling to take any risks.
After weighing the pros and cons, he chose to fulfill his reputation of filial piety. After all, his girlfriend has already gotten it, and even if he has divided it, he will not suffer any loss. Or his wife has already married him and thinks he has already won the other party. Men like
are not that they have not grown up, but are essentially irresponsible and selfish in nature. Even if they reach middle age, their character will be the same. They will not change because you are good to him or as they grow older. Therefore, it is wise and necessary to try to stay away from such men when choosing a partner.
3: The boundaries between men and women are unclear, and the opposite sex has no sense of proportion to each other
People have one commonality, whether it is a man or a woman, it is easy to develop herd mentality.
In love, you will feel that many people with the opposite sex are particularly attractive, and you will subconsciously want to get close to such people. You will think that the men or women you all like must have their own outstanding features.
But if such a person has no sense of proportion with other opposite sexes, it is not suitable to be a partner.
is such a person, you cannot control it. To him, you are just one of the choices, or one of the slightly special women, but to you, he is indeed unique, you cannot lose him, but you are dispensable to him, so you have already lost in this game.
2. Such a person cannot treat a relationship exclusively, and he cannot be loyal to a relationship. The only thing he is loyal to is his own feelings and pursuits.
Some people say that the reason why a man is fickle and has no sense of proportion to other opposite sex is because he has not met the man who can calm him down. Therefore, some women know that a man is fickle, but they believe that they can touch the man because they love this man and make him give up other opposite sex for him. The idea of
is indeed very touching, but it is not the man who touches him, but the woman himself.
People who have no sense of proportion when dealing with other opposite sexes are not because no one can grasp his heart, but because of his positioning and values of the relationship between men and women. They are ambiguous and polite, nor are they gentlemanly attitudes, but deliberately cause misunderstandings to the other party, giving the other party a hint that they cross the line, and enjoy this sense of self-satisfaction with other opposite sexes.
This is not a manifestation of strong ability, it just shows that a person's inner emptiness, lack, and shallowness, so he fills himself with this sense of satisfaction.
Speaking of this, you will find that such a man is selfish to put it bluntly.
Summary:
Whether a marriage is happy is often decided from the beginning.
Their respective character, marriage concept and values determine the relationship between the two and their marriage maturity, but in real life, most people ignore these and blindly pursue feelings.
Marriage never lives by feeling, and feelings are not equal to feelings.
Whether it is managing a marriage or managing a relationship, it is a long-term thing.
When selecting an object, it is wise and necessary to stay away from the above three types of men.
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