Good marriage / Two people practice together
text / Hailu
Recently we have been connected to several cases, and the cheating people are all [good men] in the traditional sense.
One of the ladies cried to me: "I also think that anyone who is may cheat, he will never cheat, Who knows that he really betrayed me! Why?!"
Yes, why? A good man who has a sense of responsibility, tolerant to his wife, patient with his children, and filial to his parents, will he cheat?
In fact, this is not an unexpected thing in our opinion. There are often three reasons behind the cheating of "good men". If you have a "good men" in your family, you must read this article carefully and avoid pitfalls in advance...
The first reason:
Present personality tendency, unable to resist the temptation of extramarital affairs
What is the most uncheckable good man in everyone's eyes?
is nothing more than: playing the role of a "good husband" who loves his wife, the role of a "good father" who accompanys his children, and the role of a "good son" who is filial to his parents, but he loses his "self" alone...
But have you ever thought about a question: When he abandons himself and tries to play the "role" in the eyes of others, how depressed he should be. Once this kind of suppressed man meets someone who can understand him, recognize him, and support him, he will easily fall.
For example, there is a couple whose husband loves his wife very much, pays his salary card, does housework frequently, spends time with his children on Saturdays and Sundays, and is obedient to his wife...
In the eyes of others, this woman has really found a treasure, has met a good man who has met once in a century.
But in the end, the wife found that her husband had cheated on her. She was so collapsed. She always felt: " Anyone may cheat, my husband will never do it. "
And she found that her husband's cheating partner was not as good as her. She was old and ugly and had a baby. Her wife felt that she was insulted. She really couldn't understand why her husband treated her like this? !
In fact, the reason is very simple. In this relationship, The wife was spoiled as a princess, but her husband was not a prince, at most a servant next to the princess.
The husband tries his best to meet all his wife's needs, but never expresses his thoughts to his wife. This "good" is more like a "pleasant" type, which also stems from his own [pleasing personality tendency]: Only when he meets the needs of others can he feel that he is valuable.
Because they pursue such values, they have devoted their energy to the role of "good husband, good father, good son". And their own stress and anxiety are accustomed to being patient alone and not telling others easily.
These stress and anxiety accumulate more and more, and there will always be a day that cannot be digested.
graphic and text irrelevant
At this time, If there is a "Xieyuhua" in front of him, see his inner needs , follow him and give him timely understanding, recognition, and support, such as "I will be sad when I see you are unhappy. If you need to find someone to talk about it, I will be there anytime."
Do you guess he will have the ability to resist? Really not.
The desire is like a volcano found the outlet for eruption, and the long-drought land is waiting for a rain in August.
But this kind of happiness is destined to be short-lived and toxic.
After the initial passion, they will only put themselves in a dilemma - cannot go back to the past, and cannot find a better future, and they are suffering in their hearts.
If you are facing the dilemma of your partner cheating and don’t know what to do, you can subscribe to my column “Repair after cheating: 108 Marriage Reconstruction Techniques”.
This course lasts 6 months and uses internationally recognized as the most effective treatment for marriage and family, with the lowest recurrence rate treatment method EFT (emotional orientation) marriage and family therapy to help you repair your pain and regain your happy life.
The second reason:
The character is tired and wants to be a "bad man"
The good man, why can't you always be a good man, why do you have to be a late life without insurance?
is very simple because he is tired of his role as a "good man" and wants to indulge himself. is a "bad man".
In Western culture, a person is encouraged to be himself and release his nature when he is young. But after marriage, he must take on his own responsibilities and the prodigal son will turn back.
. In Chinese culture, there are too many disciplines for young people. You are not allowed to do this or that. You should be a "good student" in your youth, you should be a "good employee" in your youth, and you should be a "good husband and good father" after getting married.
He has never had the experience of "indulging himself". He will be very curious, What kind of life do those "romantic and happy" men live?
For example, there is a man who has always been a good man who is obedient and suddenly cheats on him.
When my wife questioned him, he actually said, "My friend died of cancer last year. He is still so young. I suddenly felt that I have always lived for others. is a loss, so I want to indulge myself once. "
But this time, he paid the price of separation of his wife and his wife filed a divorce with him and left him with her children.
The reason why some things are full of temptation is actually just because you have never tried them. They are so exciting in people's taboo areas, and they are not touched by others, but how good is it? It really doesn't.
If you insist on trying it, the price of is not something that ordinary people can afford.
The third reason:
is not used to expressing it, and uses "derailment" to find your own space
Want to be a "good man" in the secular sense, they [the price they think is] is - put themselves last.
They are not good at expressing their needs, as if they are the least important.
When family members make demands for themselves, they will try their best to satisfy themselves, but in fact, their hearts are also suppressed. " Why do I live so tired? I am either taking care of this or that. No one pays attention to what I want? "
So, they seem very reliable on the surface and have a sense of responsibility, but there are a lot of grievances hidden deep in their hearts.
These grievances and depression will suddenly explode after a long time. seeks a space for emotional comfort through cheating, is looking for a confidante who "can meet your needs" outside of marriage.
But who should blame for all this?
They didn't say it, but they waited for their wife to take the initiative to guess their inner expectations, which was unfair.
If they don’t express it, their wives are likely to be unable to meet their needs.
They endure and are bored, and then explode directly, using extramarital affair to find space, hurting others and themselves.
If the husband you meet is such a "good man", in order to avoid stumble in the future and ask him to seek comfort outside of marriage, you might as well guide him to express his inner needs and express his recognition and understanding in daily life.
But if you are such a good man, what you need to do most is to find an intermediate item, adjust your own pattern, value yourself, and express yourself. You can take care of your partner's needs, and let your partner take care of your needs.
This is to find a open space for your emotional needs. Marriage relationships like are balanced, intimate, and can go far.
You need to know " empty yourself for others' good, this is not true love ".
Because your love will flow to the other person only through you. If you are exhausted, the love you reveal will definitely be exhausted.
If you are full, you will have the energy to give "Real Love" , nourish yourself, nourish your partner, and nourish your marriage.
end
sthtml! Recommend it little by little!
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-