The day when he suspected that his father cheated again, Yangyang completely collapsed. Such a father who cheated many times but was not ashamed of it, scolded his wife like a dog, and was accustomed to plundering services from women, which made Yangyang angry and desperate, and

The day when Yangyang completely collapsed when he suspected that his father cheated again.

She rushed to the kitchen and took the kitchen knife, and smashed it to her father's leg. The quilt was very thick, she didn't know if this method could hurt him, nor did she know if her hysteria could arouse his moral awakening.

such as a father who cheated many times but was not ashamed of it, scolded his wife like a dog, and his father who was used to plundering services from women, made Yangyang angry and desperate, and even suffered from depression . She didn't know what to do to protect her mother and herself.

The following is Yangyang's story:

narrator｜ Yangyang

editor｜TJ Candy

"My father is a habitual criminal"

When I was very young, I heard relatives discussing my father's cheating. I was so angry that I decided not to talk to him again.

The next morning, he asked me why I didn't say a word, and I directly spoke out the rumors. But he said he promised firmly that there was no such thing.

I immediately became happy after hearing this, feeling that he was still the omnipotent father.

When I was in my first year of high school, I once came home from school and my dad said that an aunt went to pick me up. He first called me and told me to tell the aunt to drive well and not drive too fast. After getting home, I asked again, "How is that aunt? Is it so good?"

I told my mother that an aunt sent me back, and she was not very happy. But I was still too young at that time and didn't understand what my dad's excitement and her silence meant.

html On my 422nd birthday, I went back to my hometown. Our family was having dinner in the hotel and drank a lot of wine. Everyone was very happy. On the way home, someone called my dad, and he was in a daze and couldn't speak clearly, so I took the call.

"Hey, hello, my dad is drunk and is sleeping. Can you beat me tomorrow if you have anything to do?"

The other party didn't say anything.

"Hello, who are you?"

"Well...I'm..." There was a woman on the opposite side, and hesitantly couldn't answer.

"Can you call again tomorrow? My dad is a little drunk. Did you make the wrong call?"

"Yes."

Before I finished speaking, my dad snatched the phone away. There was no note on the phone number, so I silently wrote down the string of numbers.

The next day, I called that phone number again, and it was always busy. I asked my dad what his relationship with this girl. He said at first that he had called the wrong one, but later he said that he was a friend he knew. In the end, he admitted it and said that it was someone outside.

I was not angry at the time, but I was confused: "Dad, why do you cheat? I just want a reason, just tell me directly, I'm not angry."

"You are still young, you don't understand. I'm playing with them. Once she gets serious with me, I'll leave. I have a family, I know, you don't have to worry about these things. This is my business. Don't worry about adults' affairs." He smiled and explained his cheating psychology to me, as if he was discussing what to eat for dinner.

I didn't say much. But since that day, this matter has been in my heart. Even during the postgraduate entrance examination, I studied during the day and couldn't help but think of these things at night. I have never been in love, I have never betrayed others, nor have I been betrayed. I don’t understand why there is cheating in the world.

After the postgraduate entrance examination, I went home and stayed for a while. One day, my dad said he wanted to go out to drink with his relatives, but he didn't come back after several hours. I was afraid that he would feel uncomfortable when he got drunk, so I called my relative, but the other party said that he had already gone home.

He drank alcohol, but the phone couldn't get through. I was afraid something happened to him, so I kept calling him from three to six o'clock.

During the long wait, my worries gradually became mixed with other emotions. The past emerged one after another. The more I thought about it, the more I felt something was wrong. Later, I simply decided to go out to find him by myself - there is a hotel near my house, and I suspected that he was there.

people were not found. At almost seven o'clock, I received a call from my dad, and he actually said that he had been sleeping at home.

I ran home and saw that he was not taking off his clothes and lay on his back on the bed. I was so angry that I stood beside the bed and asked, "Where were you all this afternoon?!"

"I have been at home."

"Why didn't I see you when I was at home?"

"I... got drunk...I don't know..."

I think he was just quibbling and pretending to be confused. What party? What to get drunk? This is simply his excuse to cover up the fact that he went out to fool with other women.

I was furious, and the anger over his cheating for years erupted. I hit him with a quilt and a pillow, and asked him where he was going while beating. He turned his back to me, just saying he was drunk, not knowing.

I cried so hard that I was dizzy and had the heart to kill him. rushed directly to the kitchen and took a kitchen knife and smashed his leg through the quilt. He was shocked, and he didn't expect that I would be so "crazy". After reacting, he snatched the knife and there were blood marks on his legs.

I rushed out of the room, crying and running, intending to take a bus to Zhengzhou overnight and stay away from his world forever.

"Which man doesn't cheat"

After that day, I asked my mother and my brother what they thought about my dad's cheating.

My mother said she should bear it, and my brother said, listen to mom.

I ran to ask my brother again, and he asked me back, "Why do you think which man doesn't cheat now?"

He told me that basically all men he has seen will cheat. The way they maintain their family is to hide it from their wife and not let her know.

I asked some experienced elders what they thought. They said that the girls outside are so bad now, and many people approach my dad for money, which is inevitable. "Let him play like this. He will naturally come back when he gets old in a few years." and they even said that my mother is too weak in personality and dare not say anything. My father is used to being like this today.

That was the first time I knew that the people around me were actually a cover-up attitude towards cheating, and they were not ashamed of it, and they were used to it.

My mother, as the party who was cheated, did nothing wrong, but it was equivalent to being cut by the closest person. The whole world is ignoring her wounds. Everyone sees them, but they think they can't see them. is fine if you can’t see it, but you still have to say sarcastic words. You can’t stand on the victim’s side, but on the perpetrator’s side.

What's even more terrifying is that over time, the victim's awareness of resistance is gradually weakening.

I remember when I was a child, my mother also made a big fuss and even tried to commit suicide. One afternoon when I came back from school, I saw my mother curled up on the bed, sweating profusely, and a bottle of medicine was placed next to her. Later, the neighbor sent her to the hospital.

But when I grew up, I asked my mother about what happened that day. She said she just tried it and didn't dare to drink too much. She went to wash her stomach and it was fine.

I also asked her: "If I knew he would cheat in the future, would you still marry him?"

She said she definitely wouldn't, but, " Your father is nothing wrong with cheating except for this." She always said that a man from someone's family beats his wife all day long, and my father is still very good, and he has never beaten her.

For so many years, she has been in this state of mind, comforting herself, deceiving herself, and digging that little sugar from a life that is even harder than Coptis chinensis.

Mother living in PUA

My mother endured it again and again, which reminded me of many things in the past.

I gradually realized that cheating is just a result. has always been like a PUA master. The sentence he said every day is: "Why are you so stupid?! You don't know anything." The biggest harm he has to my mother and all family members is actually a subtle psychological control.

He was born with a contempt for women, and subconsciously felt that women should do everything for men at home. When he was a child, his five sisters gave him like a king; after getting married, all the work in the family was pushed to my mother again.

"Where is the socks?" My mother quickly handed them over to him.

"Where is the clothes?" My mother ran to the closet to find him.

"Look at what the hell is this you packed up, can't you clean up?" My mother remained silent. A conversation like

happens almost every morning. He seemed to have to highlight his male dignity through this way of reaching out and opening his mouth for food.

My mother has been silently enduring everything. At home, she basically doesn't sit, and she feels uncomfortable even if she doesn't work. She always feels that it’s enough to have my dad at home. She comes to make money and raise children. My dad just sit there and don’t abandon this family.

She is actually very capable and runs a factory herself. No matter what difficulties or setbacks you encounter, you will not give up easily. No matter how much suffering you suffer, you will not show it if you bite your teeth. But she didn't realize her strength, and always thought that a man was a god, and silently accepted all the taming of her by my father.

My dad often trains her like a dog, but she has a great attachment to this kind of authoritarian : "Do you think I can live without your dad? I can't live."

A woman who is completely independent economically, but cannot walk independently.

Last year, I suffered from depression due to various things at home. I kept crying, couldn't control my temper, and didn't sleep or eat all day and night. My body seems to have been greatly damaged, and my soul and body cannot be integrated.

When I was the worst sick, I once asked my mother: "Can you divorce my dad? If you divorce my dad, I might not want to die."

My mom only said one sentence, "Then you are forcing me to die."

What else can I say in this way? My mom loves me very much, but her love cannot resist my dad's dependence on me.

After calming down, I can understand my mother's choice. She has lived in the cultural PUA of my father and the entire society for mother, wife, and women. For her, a woman’s biggest bargaining chip is divorce. But she is worried again, what will others think of her after divorce? Will the child be criticized for this? Can she find someone better than my dad?

These thoughts are stuck on her head like a tight curse. She has nowhere to escape and can only keep giving in and indulge my dad to get worse, hurting her again and again, and hurting our family. What is the specific way to help her "resolve the curse"? I don't know, but I just think it's not accusing her of being "weak", "incompetent" and "tragic".

As for myself, I also have my way to trek.

A woman will become sisters with her mother when she reaches a certain age and help her destiny for the same woman. I feel miserable for what happened to my mom, for the millions of women who are facing similar situations. I can't let go, take it lightly, and let it go. I can't forgive my dad, but I can't give up on him completely.

I haven't learned how to punish myself without other people's mistakes.

-END-

Article is reproduced from Beijing Youth x Liangzi Interview Record official account of the same name