then analyzes "You taught me how others treat you."
. For interpersonal relationships, many people have a misunderstanding about emotional intelligence . It is a good interpersonal relationship that is good, good at making others not angry or offending others.
This is a bit contrary to human nature.
The essence of interpersonal communication is the exchange of interests. Maybe it is the exchange of emotional values, maybe it is the exchange of interest values.
If we blindly cater to other people's needs and ignore our own needs, then this is to please. People with flattering personality will only make people feel bullied and will not make people grateful for their efforts.
bullying the weak and fearing the hard is the nature of many people. If others smell a hint of flattery, then others will grab this hole like a shark and swallow you.
This so-called effort cannot be respected and grateful to others. Instead, it will make the other party bully you even more. Once you don’t let the other party bully you once, the other party will turn against you.
Next Interpersonal relationships contain three elements. The first is yourself, the second is others, and the second is the environment.
Interpersonal relationships are first and foremost the relationship between yourself and yourself. If you ignore this, it means you have no self. A person without self is like a body without soul.
A person who ignores himself will not be happy.
The real relationship is that we can quarrel with this person and expose our worst side to the other party. Instead of being afraid of conflict or making others unhappy, choose to flatter others. Even if you disagree with others' opinions, you will force yourself to accept it and will not express your true feelings and emotions.
Pussy psychology is that a person often ignores or suppresses his own inner feelings and thoughts, and strives to cooperate with others. In his world, only others have an environment, but ignores his own true feelings.
The formation of a flattering personality can be traced back to the early experience of interacting with others in life. If a pattern is formed, then an inertial pattern of faced pressure will be formed.
Perhaps some friends will be more obedient and obedient during their growth, and will be liked by their parents, and then they will pretend to be very obedient and considerate in the future.
will copy this coping pattern to other relationships when you grow up. Therefore, parental relationships are the source of other relationships. If you want to improve this, you must first improve our relationship with our parents.
pleasing personality will sacrifice our inner needs for a long time, and will also make us lose confidence in ourselves, deny our self-worth and our self-esteem, make us feel that we are not important, and the information conveyed to the other party is also We are not important, I am not worth mentioning, and I am not worthy of being loved.
The price of pleasing others is that we cannot gain respect from others, and may even arouse contempt and disgust from others. Secondly, when we suppress our feelings and feel uncomfortable inside, this kind of anger will arise, and when our anger cannot be conveyed outward, it will explode inward. Maybe it's mental depression, maybe it's physical sub-health.
Reasonable interpersonal relationships should be Hello I Hello everyone.
Healthy interpersonal relationships are to put yourself back to your original position, take care of your needs first, and achieve a good overall balance between you, me, and everyone. It conforms to the environment at that time and can live in peace with others.
Our vitality is based on our love for ourselves. If we just please others, we will lose our vitality and cannot feel the meaning of survival. Pleasing can only allow us to gain superficial harmony and short-term benefits. If we dare not offend others, then we can only offend ourselves.
A person’s coping mode is formed, and almost the same mode will be used to deal with it in every occasion. Change our coping patterns can change our lives.
People who truly love themselves and take care of their needs will not waste their time on self-certification.
In " Let the Bullets Fly ", Huang Silang's people slandered Liu Zi for eating two bowls of jelly, but only gave him one bowl of jelly. In order to prove that he had only eaten one bowl of jelly, Liuzi cut open his intestines.
has seen this plot for the first time, and I think Liuzi is so stupid. Why do you have to hurt your life in order to prove yourself?
Later I found out that I was too stupid. Like Liuzi, there are so many people who hurt themselves in order to prove themselves. Some people make themselves depressed, while others make their lives a mess.
We want to get out of this trap.
We must understand that our value does not depend on other people's evaluations. We do not live in the mouths of others, we do not say that we are great, we do not say that we are despicable.
Our self-worth is judged by ourselves, and others cannot be judged by us. Everyone’s thinking standards are different. Once we doubt our own self-worth, we will overly care about other people’s opinions. Then our lives are equivalent to being slaughtered by others.
We must have a clear understanding of ourselves. When we have this clear understanding, when we face other people's evaluations and others say it right and we agree, we can accept it humbly.
disagrees with the kind of people who are similar to slander. We can laugh it off because we know what others say has nothing to do with us, we know what kind of people we are, we don’t ask others to say we are good, and we don’t need to live through other people’s evaluations.
talks about low self-worth. The formation of self-worth is formed in childhood and adolescence. When parents give us unconditional acceptance and love, can pay attention to my inner needs, and will not measure our value by what we do, then our sense of self-worth is very high.
Among so many people I have met, no inner black hole is left for parents who give their children unconditional love and acceptance.
Parents are important in our growth process. If parents cannot fully accept us and fully understand our emotions, then a low sense of self-worth is inevitable.
talk about these things is not about criticizing parents. When we grow up, we will become our own parents. If we want to heal our inner darkness, we must treat ourselves as our children in our hearts.
When you don’t want to eat because of a broken heart, when you overeat because of unhappiness, when you stay up all night to play games.
Can you ask yourself: If you were your child, would you allow yourself to slander your body like this?
When we grow up, we must learn to love ourselves, become our parents, and be self-reliant and self-reliant. Instead of clinging to other people's mistakes.
Enter our subconscious mind and find the helpless, aggrieved, sad and touched, happy self at that time. Give yourself a hug and give yourself love. Make up for the inner child’s inner lack.
Our inner self is full of infinite energy. As long as we are willing, we can become builders of enhancing our self-worth. Let us bid farewell to the heart of glass and take back the dominance of our life.
so that you can be full of security, calm and calm, face life calmly and bravely.
has two forces that drive us forward. The first is love, the second is fear.
The driving force of fear is even greater than love.
But people who grew up in fear, grow up in fear, run in fear, never feel a sense of security, are extremely anxious, trembling, walking on thin ice, and not getting happiness.
The driving force of love comes from the bottom of the heart and is a kind of motivation that bursts from the inside out. This is something that only people with rich hearts can do.
People who choose love as the driving force are no less contribution than those who choose fear as the driving force.
Think about the older generation of revolutionaries, the heroic children who fought against foreign invasion. They are their love for the motherland and their compatriots, and have inspired their infinite combat effectiveness, making them willing to devote themselves to the survival of the nation and last until they die.
If they only have fear in their hearts, they cannot stand up.
What kind of person we choose to be will have what kind of life.
If we were driven forward by fear in the first half of our lives, it was because we were weak in childhood, we were weak before we were completely independent, and we worked hard to survive.
But after experiencing this stage, we must awaken the power of love. Only by awakening this energy can we obtain true happiness and heal our lack of hearts.
Then encounter some difficulties. Whether it is a stepping stone or a stumbling block is not determined by the difficulties, but by us.
I have encountered difficulties in life, including now. After breaking through the past, I realized that everyone has to face challenges at every stage. If you carry it over, you will be the touchstone and your life will enter a beautiful stage. If you are knocked down, you will encounter this problem next time.
There are many strange things in life. Anything you can't overcome will appear in front of you again and again, and you will face it again and again until you overcome it.
Never a way out, and God has the virtue of living a life. Focus on our goals. Don’t regard difficulties as difficulties but as challenges, as they will be full of fighting spirit and strength.
The suffering we suffer today, the losses we suffer, the responsibilities we bear, the pain we endure, the pain we endure will turn into light in the future, illuminating our way forward.
There is a strong Matthew effect in life. More more less less.
Where the meaning is, energy comes with it. It means that where a person's focus is, then where the attention is. Wherever you are, you will get what you gain.
The focus is positive, so what attracts are positive, the focus is negative, and what attracts are negative. What you pay attention to
will get what you get.
Focus on dangers and shortcomings, which will make people nervous and anxious. Focusing on the present and having will make me feel peaceful and joyful.
We always have to switch from the state of survival to the state of learning to live.
Heaven and hell are only in one thought. The environment changes with the mind.
Always be grateful and see everything in the world, you will see many truth, goodness and beauty, which will attract many positive and sunny people to our lives, and will also attract noble people, and you will get more and more.
is full of accusations and complaints, so those who are sucked are people with strong negative energy, and their lives will get worse and worse.
builds seed awareness. If you sow love, you will gain love. Maybe the love we pass on to this person will not be rewarded immediately by the other party, but will be compensated elsewhere.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-