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2. My second boyfriend was seven years older. In 1989, he owed 100w+ debts as soon as he was with her. She even paid off the money later and cheated on him many times. I just met me and said that I still like him and didn’t like me (they had been divided for 4 months at that time)
3. (Their northern family is in the south) My father cheated on me and cheated on me for many years. He is having a divorce and basically doesn’t go home. Now I am planning a divorce agreement for and . When I was planning, my mother said, your dad won’t come back because you are a girl. Whenever people come to her family, they often ask customers to sleep on her bed (that is true for men, women, young and old, and age). She sleeps on the camp bed in the study.
4. I always have a desire to control me, but I will criticize me whenever I have something wrong with her values. We will quarrel almost every week, and things include it not limited to:
(1) The waiter sprinkled a large glass of water on her, indifferent and apologized, and looked at this on the side. I got angry and raised my volume and said, "What are you doing here?! Get some paper quickly." She was so shady that she took a taxi and left after dinner. The reason: I yelled at the waiter.
(2) In a very pleasant conversation atmosphere, buy a bottle of mint water , 0 joules written in the ingredient list, sucralose , I said there was no sugar, she would say sarcastically, if you don’t understand, don’t make a judgment. (Isn't this common sense of chemistry?) Then she is very tough and we will start arguing.
later! I found that she always picks on me, she will control me, and she hopes to change me, from my conversation, walking posture, dressing, how to make friends, how to get along with friends, and she will blame me once it does not meet her values.
At first, she took the initiative to tell me about my two ex-boyfriends, and I felt a big knot in my heart. Later, I thought about it, it had nothing to do with me, so I wanted to resolve it. Later in life, she would always criticize me and accuse me of trivial matters. She spoke very sarcastically and I was very annoyed. I thought of many ways to solve this problem, but failed. Very uncomfortable.
I am quite optimistic, without financial pressure, 4 years older than her, and my two families are quite a match. I am very happy to get along with her, but she always has to blame me.
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See you describe your girlfriend's condition, and you are under a lot of psychological pressure and you are very confused and don't know how to deal with it.
The first relationship of your girlfriend should have hurt her no less than the Luding earthquake in Sichuan, and this damage lasted for two years. She always suppressed herself and dared not expose the other party. This trauma was like a nightmare for her, and it might be difficult for her to get out of this terrible psychological shadow. At the same time, this hatred will be projected to the people around her who are intimate, even if it is another boy. Psychologically, it is called "psychological projection".If your girlfriend can't get out, it's best to ask her to seek help from professionals, be pushed down the stairs, be beaten to the head and bleeding, eyes are covered in blood, and she is dragged on her feet to drag the bad behaviors of domestic violence in the community, because this kind of harm is very deep and requires psychological healing.
was able to endure it for two years in the family violence relationship, proving that her sense of value in intimate relationships is very low, low to the dust. This can also be seen from his second relationship that the boy owed 1 million yuan. Not only did she not dislike the other party, but she felt that such two people were equal and had a sense of security, and she also had an AA system with the other party until the other party cheated many times, which made her feel that even such a debt-in-law boy did not love him. Is she really not worthy of having love?
As netizens said, the original family has a great impact on her. Her father not only cheated, but also cheated for many years and was having a divorce and basically never went home. Now that you are planning a divorce agreement, your mother actually said, your dad won't come back because you are a girl. Here, her father's cheating made her feel very insecure. Her mother's words made her subconsciously more inferior. At the same time, she would disagree with her gender. She thought that she was a girl and was disliked. Therefore, she would feel that she deserved it when she was beaten and despised and cheated. She had no sense of anger and resistance at all. Her heart was also full of inferiority and fear~
Whenever people came to her family, she would often ask customers to sleep on her bed (no matter men, women, age, age). She would sleep on the camp bed in the study. This is enough to prove that she is not respected in her original family. Not only can she not feel the care of her parents, but she always feels that she is humble and has no value.
She always blames you for having control over you, which proves that she has a serious lack of security in her heart. She hopes to hold on to you, worried that you will leave her, but she will not express it. Controlling and accusing you is to let you listen to her and not leave her. Because her father didn't listen to her mother and had no sense of responsibility. These are the reasons for her deep fear.
You describe: She always picks on me, she will control me, and she hopes to change me, from my conversation, walking posture, dressing, how to make friends, how to get along with friends, and once she does not meet her values, she will blame me. This is the result of her inner fear. If you want to control you firmly, it is difficult for any normal boy to accept her behavior and psychological projection.
Currently, you and your girlfriend need psychological healing and counseling, because in the face of her psychological shadow and psychological trauma of the original family, you have been more or less affected, resulting in excessive psychological pressure. If you do not have a strong psychological support, it will be difficult for you to face your girlfriend and it will be difficult for you to manage your relationship well.
Your girlfriend is a very bitter and pitiful girl. Her past emotional experiences and psychological trauma problems in her original family have caused her to suffer many psychological damages. These need to be healed well. She not only needs a warm man but also a psychologist to heal her injured heart.
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