The reader wrote to me and said:
Regarding love, I have obvious facial control. Before marrying my husband, my two boyfriends were both handsome guys. The first boyfriend: I am a junior high school classmate. We have been dating for five years. After the college entrance examination, our relationship failed because we went to different cities to go to school. The second boyfriend: I am a college classmate. We have been dating for five years (we both studied medicine), and we were finally broken up by my parents because my parents did not agree that I would marry far away. After that, I had been reluctant to get in love for two or three years. When I reached the age of marriage, I felt that as long as my parents were satisfied, I would marry the same as anyone I would marry. In this case, I met my husband through blind dates. The husband looks average, but the family is very rich.
After marrying my husband, I only have one requirement for my husband: hire a nanny for the family. The husband agreed readily. After work, I basically play with my best friend. I never ask about the details of my husband being drunk and returning late. Even if my husband doesn't go home at night, I think it's normal. In my perception, my husband and I should be in this state of marriage: I spent his money and gave him full freedom.
In the eyes of my husband and his friends, I am a very sensible and generous woman. Even if my husband has an affair with other women, I will stand up to help her husband smooth things out. Only I know: because I don’t love, I seem particularly sensible and generous. Of course, I don’t have the idea of divorce from my husband, for two reasons: 1) My husband’s behavior in front of my parents made my parents particularly satisfied; 2) My husband is more generous to me at the expense of money.
Recalling my two previous relationships, I am not an open-minded woman, I often have disputes with my ex-boyfriend over some trivial matters in life. In the current situation of marriage, although I don’t love you, I am not tired. I currently work in the hospital, have a stable job and a stable income, and the housework is done by the nanny, so my life is free of food and clothing. Although sometimes I feel that life is too dull and boring, more often, I still feel that life is good now.
Muzili Emotional analysis:
Some men want to find a woman who is content with their own affairs to get married, and then use marriage as a fig leaf to flirt with flowers outside of marriage. I don’t know whether your husband’s private life is carefully checked. At least, your free stocking is in a more comfortable state. Although you seem sensible and generous because you don’t love, it just happens that your husband is interested in doing so. In fact, you live without any freedom at all. For women, their need for emotions is actually stronger than their need for money. But it's already like this and your husband will take care of your face, you can only be confused and use money to numb your unwillingness. There is a life attitude called: as long as your parents are happy, it is nothing to suffer a little grievance. This is your current state of life.
People may think love is great before the age of 30, but with the birth of children, the increase in life pressure, and the increase in the pressure to make money, most people's perceptions about marriage will become very good. Perhaps in a few years, when you examine your current marriage, you will find that choosing a marriage partner that your parents are satisfied with may not be a bad result. Because your husband's family is relatively good, he now has many friends and many women who have thrown his arms around him. However, when people reach a certain age, they will feel the weight of the family very consciously. Especially after people are over 45 years old, fewer people are obsessed with love. At this time, most people pay more attention to the accumulation of family affection and the accumulation of efforts in a relationship.
The phenomenon we often encounter in life: the person we like and the person who are satisfied with their parents are sometimes not the same type, so there will be a scene of breaking up couples. What I want to say is that my parents were also young. They may have tasted the sweetness of love at that time, and ignored their partner's material conditions during their relationship, and ate too much material-related pain after getting married. There are also some parents who fail to study hard during school, which makes them particularly hard at making money.For this reason, there are always some people who will experience two things during their growth: 1) During school, their parents will force themselves to study hard; 2) When they reach the age of marriage, their parents will guide you to take into account the other person's family background and ability to make money. In a sense, parents hope that his tragedy will not happen to you again.
Big truth: When we examine other people's family happiness, the basic criterion is whether the other party has a house and a car, and whether the other party's ability to make money makes us envious. However, when many people choose their marriage partner, they meet a person with a strong magnetic field of love with them, and are very willing to face their future life with the other party even if they suffer. There are two more extreme cognitions about marriage: 1) It doesn’t matter whether you have feelings for each other, as long as the other party is rich and willing to spend it for yourself; 2) If there is no magnetic field of love with the other party, even if the other party has too much money, you are unwilling to give money and face and let yourself compromise.
Regarding feelings and career, sometimes dreams and reality will have a big deviation, which is caused by the fact that in the field of love, you may meet the wrong person at the right time, or meet the right person at the wrong time, or you may have a situation of falling flowers and falling flowers intentionally flowing and ruthlessness. For career, too many people do not have much initiative, but are chosen by their careers. Perhaps when it is late at night, people will feel this feeling: after working hard, they are unable to live as they expect, but they also feel that their current life is not bad, so they can balance themselves. Regarding life, there is no need to sigh because of missing out. We can make ourselves smarter because of some experiences and learn to cherish the people in front of us.
Those exes who have had love with us until they die, now when they look back, they still feel that there are many good memories between each other, but if they have the opportunity to be with each other again, they may not be willing to try it. Since many relationships can never return to the past, you can remember them when you occasionally recall the past, but you must restrain yourself and not disturb the other person's life frequently: unfair to your lover, unfair to your lover. There are several people in everyone's life who have accompanied them for months or years, but we must always be clear about one thing: in the field of love, those experiences that fail to form marriage results are all bad loves. Regarding your ex, it is best to put it in your memory and allow you to remember it occasionally, but you must not show a state of unfinished love.
Postscript:
There is a saying that goes: A hero does not mention his courage. There is a phenomenon called: memories are often beautiful. In fact, no matter how brilliant the experience you have had in the past, you must face the current life with a relatively peaceful attitude; many things will encounter some twists and turns when experiencing them, but when recalling the past, you will often ignore some unpleasant details and feel that the past experience is beautiful.
Everyone's life is accumulated day by day, and it is measured step by step. Regarding the future, sometimes I feel that day by day is long, but looking back at the years I have experienced, I feel that time passes so quickly. In fact, I am already very lucky to be able to make my current life and have no worries about my future life.
(The picture is from the Internet, the picture is irrelevant)
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