Lao Bai encountered this situation many times during the consultation process:
Two people are obviously in love so much, but they still have to separate?
is not separated, so they must not love enough. In fact, there are unavoidable practical reasons, which will prevent two people in love from finally getting together. Sometimes, it is because they love too much that they understand each other more and more, and they will discover the irreconcilable contradictions in each other and finally part ways.
1. The view of money is inconsistent
The difference in the view of money and consumption of two people is the most likely to cause contradictions.
Lao Bai has encountered such a case. The couple had a good relationship, but there was something very upset. What? This boy likes to pay for the bill. You said that this habit is good. Men should be generous. Don’t. This boy gets together with friends every few days. He pays for the bill every time. The girl doesn’t understand: If you occasionally invite leaders, colleagues, friends and classmates to have a meal for social needs, she will definitely support it. But you beer and barbecue every day, just chat with water, and you pay for it every meal. Friends never pay money. This can’t be OK,
But boys think that friends should not worry about a little money, and lose face.
This contradiction will come out?
The difference in consumption concepts will directly affect all aspects of your life. After all, why don’t you spend money?
You call every day, and the other party advises you to squeeze into the bus, but the money you deducted once late is enough to get a month’s Didi ?
You want to go to the CBD elegant seat, and the other party takes you to a roadside stall. The face is smoked and the makeup is enough to eat a few stalls on the roadside, let alone you only spent hundreds of dollars on your hair.
Can there be no problem with this? !
2. There is no common goal
Two people are together to be a community of interests. Marriage is like starting a company in partnership. The goals of both parties are inconsistent. The company often goes bankrupt. You want to get married, but he wants to play for two years;
You want to buy a wedding house together, but he wants to rent a house after marriage;
You think that money can't be made, and companionship is more important. He wishes he could work for 48 hours a day
...
Your life direction is different, so naturally you will There are many conflicts
3. Different cognition of intimacy
Everyone’s understanding of intimacy and how to get along with each other may not be the same
Some people think that love means sticking together every day, and confessing to each other cannot have any secrets
. Some people think that personal space is very important, and everyone has their own privacy
Then when these two people are together, there will inevitably be conflicts. One party will feel that the other party is reserved, not loving himself wholeheartedly, and the other party will feel that the other party is too clingy and can’t breathe.
4. The growth ability is different
When two people first got together, they were evenly matched, but if one party continued to improve and grow up later, while the other party was standing still, the ending was often not very good. Many couples in distress could not share wealth in the end. This is why
Lao Bai has a fan. His boyfriend originally agreed to work hard and grow up together. Later, the girl studied fitness and focused on the postgraduate entrance examination, but the boy played games every day, and he still felt that the girl was in charge of him every day. Although the girl really liked this boy, she still left later.
5. The influence of the original family is too great
When love comes to the step of talking about marriage, it is not only a matter for two people, but the families of both parties will naturally participate, and their respective families have a huge impact on the marriage relationship. In reality, there are many examples of conflict between mother-in-law and mother-in-law looking down on the son-in-law, and finally breaking up are everywhere. In addition, a person's personality and habits will be greatly affected by the original family, so in the process of dating, you must understand the other party's family situation as much as possible. If the original family is not harmonious and there is a shadow in childhood, it will often be reflected in the current family after marriage.
intimate relationships are based on love, but love alone cannot solve all problems, and even most problems cannot be solved. We fall in love with someone because we like each other's strengths, but we can eventually live together because we can tolerate each other's weaknesses, discover the conflicts between each other as soon as possible, and consider them to see if each other can tolerate each other, or whether one party is willing to change them. Otherwise, sooner or later, the conflicts between you will be stimulated. Of course, if you don't have a good solution, you can also consult Lao Bai. The content of this issue ends here. Click to follow and see you next time!
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