Does a man still feel about his wife after he cheats?
A man just cheated, not lost his memory, and of course he will still have feelings for his wife.
But is this feeling deep or shallow?
Is it guilt or boredom? Is it guilt or heartache?
How much do you rely on how he feels about you?
This is a different matter.
To be honest, even after working in marriage consultation for so long, when I talked to the visitor, I still sighed in my heart.
It is not that there are more and more people who cheat, but that they sigh about the differences in thinking between men and women - Everyone likes to judge each other based on their inherent thinking style and cognition, which often brings unnecessary pain to each other.
For example, women often think that men cheating is a long-planned decision and they want to deliberately hurt their wife;
For example, women often think that men are very decisive in their relationships and can completely do either one or the other.
In fact, a large number of men are not as cruel as women think, nor are they as "absolute" as women think.
01 A man’s cheating is not a premeditated action. The feeling of his wife after cheating is related to the man’s status and experience in marriage.
When dealing with a man's cheating, it is easy for women to take it for granted that when a man decides to cheat, he must have been tangled and tried every means to calculate and weigh the trade-offs, and finally took the step of cheating solemnly, imagining the entire cheating process extremely solemnly and full of rituals.
It seems that after a man bowed three times and bowed nine times, burned incense and bowed, he made up his mind to betray the marriage. This betrayal will never come back.
But in fact, judging from the countless cases I have handled, men really don’t have that many scenes when they cheat!
There are not so many ideological struggles that are entangled, painful, heart-wrenching, and weigh the pros and cons.
also did not plan every step of the way to deliberately retaliate against or disgust his wife.
is very straightforward and simple, and without even thinking too much, something that shouldn't have happened.
Some people are distracted while chatting; some people are in a state of urgency to act first when X is in high demand; some people are in a state of urgency to act first;
Only when the matter is done and calm down will they realize that something is not good.
At this time, men with different marriage status will have different choices .
The first type is a man who has a good relationship with his wife and a perfect marriage:
After cheating, he feels guilty towards his wife, and is more afraid of being known by his wife, and is worried about the anxiety and anxiety that affects the relationship between husband and wife.
So in this case, men will try their best to conceal their cheating, pretend that nothing happened, cut off contact with third parties, and return to their family wholeheartedly.
Of course, when facing a man’s cheating, many women care very much about whether the man feels guilty and regrets his behavior. Because guilt and regret represent that a man cares about him, and a man's guilt does have a comforting effect on his wife.
is just that this effect is limited, because guilt itself is a negative emotion of desire to be eliminated, and regret often occurs when things are serious and irreparable.
As long as the wife does not find out that she is cheating and she hides it comprehensively enough, the guilt in the man's heart will gradually be diluted with daily trivial matters.
As for regret, it will become a blessing because it is not discovered.
Even if the day continues to live safely, even if the man breaks off a relationship with a third party, he will still occasionally secretly recall and savor the taste of the time.
Although cheating is an impulse, its nature is still an affair.
The pleasure of "stealing" this taboo will not disappear immediately, and it will even become more exciting because of your own luck. This is not only the nature of men, but also the nature of human beings.
is just thinking about it, and may not necessarily continue to take action.After all, the relationship with your wife is not bad. How can a couple get along with each other for many years, eat, drink and sleep together, and have children together, and can they be eliminated and replaced by cheating?
It is not cost-effective to destroy your family for a moment of impulse. This is what a man thinks about the truth.
The second type is a man with a poor relationship with his wife and a bad marriage:
After cheating, he feels more tired of his wife, and will have some resentment and negative emotions fluctuations, not completely without feeling. At the same time, in order to reduce family conflicts and reduce conflicts with your wife, we will also deliberately conceal the incident of your cheating.
Because of the poor condition and physical examination with his wife, he will focus more energy and emotions on the third party, hoping to compensate for the comfort that cannot be felt in the marriage on the third party.
The transfer of emotions and energy does not mean that men will completely abandon their relationship with their wives.
For example, many men cheat but are unwilling to divorce. Even if their wife's attitude becomes slightly softer, the men will become warmer. But this kind of warmth is not deep enough to leave the third party and return to the family sincerely.
cannot live without his wife, and cannot let go of third party . This is also the reason why many men always stay away from the family and a third party after cheating and cannot make decisions immediately.
Even if it reaches the extreme situation of "choose one of two", men will make the most beneficial choices for them now after weighing the pros and cons. This "self-interest" choice can be for money or for a comfortable emotional experience.
The third type is a man with a normal relationship with his wife and a dull marriage:
After cheating, he may choose to take the initiative to show kindness to his wife because of the average cheating experience; he may also be addicted to the satisfaction of sexual or emotional needs and neglect his wife even more.
I often encounter some visitors saying that my relationship with my husband is dull, but after my husband cheats (not discovered), the relationship develops in a good direction. For example, the husband will suddenly become gentle or diligent, suddenly become more patient with his family, etc.
This situation usually occurs when a man feels average after cheating. He is worried that his wife will find out that he is cheating, but he pays more attention and cares about his family.
Of course, some men get along well with third parties after cheating. Compared with their dull and boring marriage, their emotions and energy will naturally be transferred to third parties and their wives are neglected.
In summary, the man’s feelings for his wife after cheating are not only the man’s character and moral standards, but also the original marriage status of the man and his wife, as well as the relationship with a third party after cheating. These situations complement the man’s feelings for his wife.
Because a person’s emotional state is not fixed, but flowing. In terms of relationships, men are not as quick and decisive as women, but are hesitant and dragged on.
02 Women are more decisive than men, and most men treat their feelings in an ambiguous state of "just as long as they are". Even if you cheat, it is difficult to completely lose your feelings for your wife and get a decisive divorce.
People are emotional animals after all, and men are no exception.
is just different from women. The meaning of family is an emotional comfort and harbor for men, but it is not the most important purpose of life.
The wife is a necessary companion in life, but whoever plays the role of this wife is very important but not that important - just about the same.
To put it more directly, a large number of men regard marriage and having children as a game of passing the level, which is a must-pass path in the process of life.
He does not need to find the love of life, the only way to get married in this life. As long as the other person is pleased with him, he can get along with him, and the other person is willing to marry him, then this person can become his wife.
Even if his love for his wife decreases after many years of marriage and the two often quarrels, it does not prevent him from continuing to stay in the marriage, continuing to live with his wife, and even "routinely doing things".
Because men are more afraid of loneliness and loneliness than women, they are more able to accept the state of "just as long as they are". Just like they would rather have sex with a woman they don't like, they would never abstinence for the rest of their lives.
And all this comes from men's mental immature and unindependentness, so they are afraid of loneliness, fear of turmoil, and fear of no place.
It is precisely because of this immaturity and inseparability that it is difficult for men to bear the various small responsibilities of their marriage life independently - from cleaning, washing, cooking, and furniture to adding favors.
It’s not that men cannot handle these trivial matters, but that they have been accustomed to relying on others to take care of them since childhood. When they were young, they depended on their mothers and when they grew up, they depended on their wives.
And men are more accustomed to putting their energy outside of the family, such as work/study, career/self-realization... and so on.
As soon as possible, life becomes more and more convenient and technology becomes more and more developed, but men still need a "maid" at home to handle these trivial matters, even if they are directing him! This is the sense of security and belonging he needs.
Because of the convenience brought by takeout and various technological means, it is cold and emotional. For men with immature minds, machines without emotional warmth have no sense of security and belonging.
So if cheating affects the stable development of the marriage, men will still restrain themselves and return to their families, or hide their wives while hiding them.
Because of his demand for a stable marriage (wife), he has a stronger demand for a lover.
Of course, it is not ruled out that some people cheat for years, and even live with their lovers, completely transfer their feelings for their wives to their lovers.
The extreme situation of love also just shows that as long as a man still lives in marriage, it is difficult to completely cut off emotional connection with his wife.
Even if some men and wives have a weak relationship, they will consider each other's love and responsibility as husband after the matter is exposed, and they will feel a little guilty towards their wife and ask their wife for forgiveness.
And those men who have deep feelings for their wives, in addition to guilt about responsibility, will also have pain, struggle, doubts, and deep regrets for their wives "Why did we get to this point".
Of course, it is not ruled out that men who have "souls" stayed in the feudal dynasty do not take anyone seriously, and think that it is natural for men to cheat on "three wives and four concubines" and have no guilt or love for their wives.
But such a man doesn’t have much sincerity towards a third party.
So, what if you know that a man still feels about you after cheating?
If your marriage choice is determined by the man’s feelings for you, then what is the difference between you taking the initiative to give up the decision-making power and letting the man decide your marriage and life?
When you rely too much on a man’s emotional love and feelings, your next path will only become narrower and narrower until you approach the dead end. Because your emotions, your words and deeds, and your choices are all subject to the other party.
He acts as if he loves you and feels about you, and you have the strength to make the next choice; he acts as if he does not love you and is indifferent to you, and you will be as limp as mud and unable to move forward.
So for this question, you should ask this question -
Do I still have feelings for him after a man cheats?
If he still has feelings and doesn't want to leave this person, then find a way to get out of the pain , readjust the relationship with him, reestablish the bottom line of the rules, and let him learn to bear the price and responsibility.
If you no longer feel and don’t want to be with this person for a minute, then be sure to leave.
After leaving, learn to heal the scars of being cheated, pick up hope for life and feelings again, and continue to bravely and enthusiastically pursue your own happiness.
In general, as a woman, whether facing a divorce crisis or an infidelity problem, there are often two different mentalities in front of you:
One is to act according to the feelings of a man, and the other is to make decisions according to your own needs.
Different cognitions and choices often bring different endings.
The former is bound, while the latter is liberation.
You can taste it, you can taste it carefully.
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