Author丨Tongyan
Less add drama to this relationship. I have said this to many girls who are more love brain in close relationships. The main reason is that sometimes I really can't stand it anymore and feel that they are simply using their own strategies to fall in love.
The boys did anything small for them, and they were grateful and then magnified the matter infinitely, and even used evidence that he still loved himself very much later.
What I want to tell you is: Love is time-sensitive. Anything a person does and says for you is only useful at a certain period of time. Because you cannot guarantee that this person will never change in the later stage. When he changes, you will be invalidated all the things he has said and done.
You, you must have the courage to clear everything.
does not break, it will not stand.
, I'll use an example to analyze it in detail.
Some time ago, I met a girl in a love post. I felt that she was really a very infatuated person. She treated her ex with deep affection, but unfortunately, she was wrongly given. Her ex didn't want to pay attention to her at all now.
She kept sending messages to boys, especially at night. When all kinds of thoughts kept pouring into her heart, she couldn't help but feel sad from her heart, and felt that there were a lot of words in her heart and wanted to say them.
Then, she sent a little essay to the boy, writing her so hard that she burst into tears, and her tears wet her pillow. At the most exaggerated moment, she cried alone in the middle of the night and couldn't breathe.
At this time, she hoped that the boy could reply to her message. Even if there was only one word, she was satisfied.
Unfortunately, all the messages she sent were all over the sea, and the boy did not reply to her as if he hadn't seen them.
She still has the courage to persist, is she thinking that boys still love her?
And what she told about the evidence that boys love themselves comes from when they loved each other deeply, the boys did a lot of things that touched her for her.
She doesn’t understand: He loved me very much in the past and held me in his palm. How come he can say that if he doesn’t love me, he won’t love me anymore?
Silly girl, no one will suddenly not love you, it’s just that you suddenly realize it.
From love to not love, there must be a corresponding process, and there are specific reasons for not love, such as being tired, having someone you like, etc., which can all be the most direct reasons.
It’s just that many people are not so frank in love and do not want to be a bad person by themselves. So even if they don’t love each other, they won’t say it outright, and they won’t take the mistakes on themselves. Instead, they tend to deal with them in a cold way and let the other party retreat.
At this time, those who are still trapped in this relationship will definitely not want to believe it or convince themselves, so they continue to indulge in their past dreams and rationalize all their current behaviors.
This girl insisted that her ex would not reply to her, but she was just holding back her longing and not contacting her. She must have missed her, because when she still loved him, she could not accept the result of not loving her, and all this contradictory thought would arise. Why is
contradictory?
The answer is obvious. Those who love you will not hide from you at all.
Will a man who loves you resist contacting you? Regarding this question, I have asked two people who have experienced it. They have acted not to contact each other in close relationships, and the reasons they give to girls are quite high-sounding, and even seem to be thinking from the girl's standpoint, such as saying that they don't want to delay you, that you can meet someone better than me, etc.
But in fact, their real idea is super simple - does not contact, he definitely doesn't want to contact.If you don’t want to contact you, it means that at least you don’t want to have anything with you anymore, and you will even start to dislike you.
This is normal logical reasoning and more in line with reality.
So, as a girl, you must be more rational at this time, you can't just deceive yourself anymore.
That’s right, it’s difficult to get out of a relationship, especially since you once loved it deeply. You can use time to slowly get out, but you can’t keep hypnotizing yourself and get stuck in a fantasy love world.
Reality may be cruel, but you must learn to face it.
In this world, there is very few practices that a man loves you but endures not to contact you, because this is not in line with common sense - boys' likes and love are often very direct, not so many twists and turns, and they will not clearly like you. He also knows that you like him, but he creates some conflicts by himself and pretends not to contact you.
To put it seriously, girls may have more cases of talking about right and wrong in this kind of thing. So some girls will use their own ideas to substitute the other party, thinking that they are also like this.
Love yourself well.
The so-called love for yourself means that no matter in any relationship, you must always keep a clear mind and keep a little rational. Don’t blindly believe it as soon as you fall in love with the other person, think that he will never deceive you, think that he has no selfishness, think that he is really thinking about you - This may be your expectation, not his true thoughts.
Never overestimate the love anyone has for you.
The best way to measure all this is that you cannot listen to what it says. People will subconsciously beautify their behavior, but they need to see what their final behavior is. If you deduce the process from the results, everything is much simpler.
For example, let’s talk about the previous example. Judging from the results, it is the person she is thinking about. When faced with any message she sends, she does not reply or contact her. So what is his mentality? Is it easy to understand? But if she inferred from the process, she would definitely think of the beauty of the past between the two people, and then her thinking would retreat, thinking that he loved himself, so there must be his reason for him to do this.
In close relationships, it is sometimes difficult to wake up a person who pretends to be asleep.
It may only be until she has really experienced all the regrets and pains and has come out that she will understand how to treat a deteriorated love.
-END-
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