Hello everyone, here are Wanshang’s growth notes, which use interesting words to describe personal growth and in-depth thinking. If you think the article has inspired you, you can follow me!
I wish you all a helpful opening:
一
I saw some interesting questions on the Internet: Will long-distance relationships really break up?
Is the love between sister and brother really not going to end?
I graduated from junior high school and he is a college student. Do we really have a future? Various problems such as
.
Hey, what should I say about these questions? I think sometimes the questions are really unnecessary.
In fact, most of the answers seen on the Internet are biased to a certain extent. In other words, they are individual situations and do not represent all situations.
Especially when it comes to things like feelings, it may be a small factor, maybe it's just that you didn't wait for her to move her chopsticks first when eating, or maybe it's just that you said a few words to the opposite sex on the way.
These may lead to different endings.
So, when we ask this kind of question, sometimes what we actually get is just a comfort.
Especially in the era of big data algorithms, what you can see is actually what you want to see.
Of course, I am not saying that comfort is not important. On the contrary, comfort may be an important motivation that can support us to go on for a long time.
Whether the source of this comfort is familiar people around you in real life or strangers on the Internet.
So, before we ask these questions, we must first determine whether you want to get one or more methodologies to solve the problem and the underlying logic behind it, or whether you just want to vent your emotions!
Why do you say that?
two
Let’s give an example.
Little A and Little B have always had a good relationship, but at this time Little B suddenly proposed that he wanted to develop in a big city, but Little A has already been admitted to the county establishment.
At this time, Little A remembered what she had seen on the Internet about the final breakup of long-distance relationships, so she begged Little B not to go out and wander around.
But Little B is the kind of person who is naturally bohemian and loves freedom. He feels that it would be too boring to take the exam and live a life with an end in sight.
He finally decided to go out and give it a try.
After little B went out, in order to relieve her anxiety, little A searched online for some happy endings of long-distance relationships, but most of the ones she found were breakup versions, which made her even more anxious.
Let’s think about this scenario. Suppose you ask your partner if she loves you. If she answers that she loves you, you may feel at ease. But if she says that she doesn’t love you, then you may not keep asking one, two, and three. Four, five, six, seven.
This is the human nature of most people.
And when Little A searched for long-distance relationships on the Internet, it was actually the same.
When she sees that the answer is yes, she may feel at ease, and then she will not pay too much attention to it. But when she sees that the answer is no, she may want to understand, understand, and understand.
In the end, the algorithm will tag her, and she will be constantly recommended by big data to articles or videos that her long-distance relationship cannot reach the end of.
In the end, under the influence of the self-fulfilling prophecy, she may become suspicious. If Little B is 10 minutes late in replying to the message, she may feel that Little B has done something to feel sorry for her.
In the end, Little B may not be able to stand her supervision anymore, so he breaks up...
三
The above story is a pity, isn't it?
However, this is actually a problem that most long-distance couples will encounter.
So, do you think long-distance couples will break up? Can we come together?
My answer is that if you really like each other and want to continue this relationship, then you must choose to believe it.
Don’t worry about whether it will succeed in the end, don’t think about probabilities, you just need to think about being able to go on.
There is a concept in psychology called self-fulfilling prophecy , and there is a concept in the medical field called the placebo effect. You can look it up yourself for the specific concepts of
. There is not enough space here.
In short, everyone just needs to know that if you want something to happen, then you have to believe that it will happen.
Of course, you can also use the popular saying in business to understand: because you believe, you see, because you see, you believe.
Let’s put it this way, if you think you will break up, then there is a high probability that you will break up, and if you think you can go on, then there is a high probability that you can go on.
This is not a metaphysical issue, but a psychological issue.
As mentioned above, when Little A has seeds of doubt in his heart, it is very likely that he will not be able to eradicate them.
Until that suspicion comes true, even if it doesn't work out at first, she will probably check in frequently to make Little B unable to prevent it from happening.
finally broke up!
So, if you really love each other, then it may be a good choice to choose to believe that the long-distance relationship can eventually go on!
What do you think?
The full text is complete. Your attention is my motivation. Here are Wanshang’s growth notes. If you like it, you can click and follow it.
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