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Text: Shili
Illustrations: From the Internet
"After four years of dating, my boyfriend proposed to me. Now I am in great pain. I don't know what I should do? My boyfriend and I were college classmates. After graduating from college, we We are together. My boyfriend comes from a rural area and has no house or car, and his job is unstable. Both of his parents are farmers and have no savings. My parents have stable employment and currently have two houses.
Now my boyfriend proposed to marry me naked, and gave me a lot of verbal promises, saying that if I don’t have a bride price or a wedding room now, I will definitely make up for it in the future, and he asked me to use the house my parents bought me as a wedding room, which my parents didn’t do. Agree and asked me to break up immediately, saying that my boyfriend was unreliable. After I told my boyfriend this, my boyfriend Saying that I don’t get married is just a matter of reality. He asked me to choose between him and break up. I really love him and have sacrificed a lot for him. It’s hard for me to give up on this relationship. What should I do?”
When I saw this private message, I felt a lot.
For this reader friend, how should she choose?
In fact, she should listen to her parents more, because her parents were not wrong.
This man does not love her and is not reliable. He only cares about the benefits that marrying her will bring to him.
For a woman, if a man does not have a house or a car, then the woman can choose to get married, because these are temporary, and as long as the man is willing to work hard, everything can get better. And if a man has nothing and wants to use his morals to kidnap women, then such a man must not get married. This is a problem with his character.
A man who truly loves you will think about you instead of letting you make difficult choices.
No matter how good a man talks, if he doesn't take action, then he is just talking and cannot take it seriously.
The reason why they say these things is just to deceive you.
A truly serious and responsible man never uses words to convince others, but uses actions to prove himself.
A man who can truly spend a lifetime with you will never force you to make a choice when he has accomplished nothing, because such men often have no empathy, are selfish, and naturally cannot give you happiness. They are just to achieve their own goals. only interests.
A man who will stay with you because of profit will never be able to stay with you for a long time, because sooner or later, they will leave you because of profit.
In fact, if a man wants to spend a lifetime with you, he often has these three symptoms.
A man really wants to spend a lifetime with you and is willing to spend money on you.
There is a saying that goes well: "Where a man's money is, there is his heart."
This truth is very simple. A man who is willing to spend money for you may not necessarily love you, but a man who is not willing to spend money for you may not love you. , must not love you.
When a man falls in love with you and decides to spend the rest of his life with you, he will definitely be willing to spend money on you.
For them, spending money for you is like spending money for themselves, and there is no distinction between them.
Men are rational, and all their efforts are actually based on their self-worth evaluation.
Only when they completely identify with a person will they become impulsive in spending money on a woman. When they do not identify with a woman, even if they are willing to spend money on a woman, they will have some restraint.
It's like those scumbag boys treat girls. They often don't pay for the girl because they don't really love the girl and are afraid that they will lose money in the future.
From the moment they approached the girl, they were destined to leave her in the future, so they calculated everything from the beginning.
In order to prevent themselves from losing money, they will be more inclined to spend women's money and let women pay.
Just like that sentence, a man who loves you will pay for you, while a man who doesn't love you will make you pay.
A man who is not even willing to spend money for you, no matter how many excuses he gives, he still does not love you, because compared to him, money is always more important than you.
A person who loves money more than his partner will sooner or later abandon his partner for money.
Of course, even if the man loves you again, a woman cannot always take the initiative to ask a man to spend money for herself.
Because love is often mutual, if you only want to take but don't want to give, it will not end well.
"If you want others to pay for you, you must first pay for others."
Of course, spending money does not mean that everything is accurate.
Because everyone is different, some people are always exceptions.
A man really wants to spend his whole life with you. He has you in his future plans and has taken action.
all say: "A thousand sweet words are not as convincing as one fact."
deeply agrees with this.
Whether a man loves you or not does not depend on what he says to you or what he promises to you, but depends on what actions he takes for this love.
The promise is actually worthless and has no legal effect. There is no point in making ten thousand promises, because a promise that is not fulfilled is just nonsense.
Men who really want to live with you may complain on their lips, but they are not afraid of trouble in their hearts and will prove everything with practical actions.
Boys are the creatures that hate "trouble" the most in the world. He will not spend energy on something that he is not interested in unless it is really important to him.
Only when a man completely identifies a woman will he not be afraid of trouble.
A boy who truly loves you and wants to be with you for a long time must hold your hand and take you to see the whole world, and be closely related to you in all his plans for the future.
's future plan is not a verbal promise, but a plan to be implemented step by step, and every step is critical.
Did he take action, or did he make you feel that he was really trying hard? At this time, you should also judge objectively instead of making subjective assumptions. Men like
may not be with you every day, nor will they reply to every message immediately, but they are fighting for the future. Their vision is very long-term, not in the present, but in the future.
With him, you feel secure enough, full of hope for the future, and positive. The two of you grow with each other and become a better version of yourself together.
A man really wants to spend a lifetime with you, recognize your identity, and take you home to meet your parents.
There is such a passage on the Internet: "If a boy has been with you for more than half a year, there will be no trace of you in any of his social circles or friend circles. He will even deliberately show your identity when participating in social activities." If you avoid or even keep silent, then 80% of the time this boy just wants to play with you. "
fully agrees with this.
Whether a man loves a woman or not is often clearly manifested in terms of identity sovereignty.
After a man truly falls in love with a woman, he will pay special attention to everything about that woman and is afraid that he will face some risks, so he will decisively declare his sovereignty.
They will recognize your identity and then draw a clear line between you and other members of the opposite sex.
Because he doesn't want any potential trouble to affect this relationship, he will make all preparations.
They all say: "Whether a man loves you or not depends on how much you know about him."
His circle of friends, home address, parents, and his growth trajectory since childhood are all proof that he loves you.
If he loves you, he will work hard to integrate you into his circle and into his past.
He will introduce you to his friends, or even take you home to meet his parents, because he wants his parents to accept you.
They will show you their truest self and then let you make a choice, instead of hiding their shortcomings and bragging about unrealistic things.
Because your future married life is actually about living with each other's shortcomings, and they will let you adapt to life in advance.
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Today’s topic: “Do you think it’s right?”
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