Author: Pray for good luck
This article comes from "Relationship between Mother-in-law and Daughter-in-law" section
Original title: Let the mother-in-law go back to her hometown today,
The mother-in-law is crying and making a fuss. Husband breaks off mother-son relationship
Thanks to the author for providing high-quality original content for Tianya
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a common topic in the family. As long as the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live together, they basically dislike each other.
Whether it is the daughter-in-law or the mother-in-law, from their own perspective, they are all for the good of the family, but in the eyes of the other party, no matter what they do, they cannot satisfy the other party, and they even accumulate a lot of complaints!
Let’s take a look at today’s protagonist.
Because I bought a small apartment in the city, my daughter has been living in a room next to her grandma. The daughter is getting older and older, and she is nine years old. The mother-in-law has never relented to make room for her daughter. It feels like she will live there for a lifetime.
According to her words, if she paid for the house, she should live in it. My mother-in-law did give a part of the down payment for the house, less than 1/4 of it. We will repay the loan for ten years.
Today my husband asked my mother-in-law to go back to her hometown to live with her father-in-law. She said she did not want to live with her father-in-law. Then her mother-in-law cried and made a fuss and said that if her husband wanted her to go out to live, she would have to sever the mother-child relationship with her husband. I usually can't get used to my mother-in-law, and she complains a lot about me. In fact, I wish she would leave soon!
I also gave another plan. My mother-in-law would pay the remaining balance and she would live in the house forever. We would mortgage a separate house. My mother-in-law didn't agree, and she rushed out of the house angrily.
When my children were very young, I mentioned that I would let them go back to their hometown. However, unexpectedly, she actually said that I would let her go back to her hometown and be crushed to death by the old house. They have been together for so many years, and they have not paid a penny in other aspects since their marriage. I paid less than a quarter of the down payment, and my family paid for the decoration of the house. My parents gave us financial support throughout the process and never thought about coming to live with us. Could it be that the decoration fees my parents and I paid were not as good as her down payment? I don’t know where she got the courage to stay with us forever. Didn’t she ask me if I would welcome her?
co-author should only remember the good things about his parents, not my parents. His parents deserved the credit, but my parents didn’t!
My parents are also in my hometown. Isn’t the expense paid by my parents money? My parents are living well in their hometown, why can’t my mother-in-law! What's the matter with crying and fussing! This means that the money she spends on the down payment is money, but the money my parents spend on decoration and supporting our wedding and having children is not money! What's wrong with living apart? Does living apart mean severing the relationship? I really don’t know why my mother-in-law is so pretentious now!
I get angry when I think about how she never let go of living apart from me before. When she and my husband had a fight and we were getting divorced, she could call me directly and ask me to get back the money I paid to buy the car. It was obviously my husband’s salary, and she just took it. It becomes his money. Everything belongs to her. She plotted against my mother-in-law when she got married, she cried out for poverty when she gave birth to a child, and she often said bad things about me and slandered me in front of my daughter. She had driven her away a long time ago, secretly and openly, but she just wouldn't leave.
later stopped listening to me, and my husband was still undecided, and now he wants to live in the same room with my daughter for the rest of his life. My husband saw her crying and relented. Should he let her live in my daughter's room for the rest of her life? Thinking about it makes you angry, even if you want to pity her, it doesn't work. Who stipulates that if you raise a child for two years, you have to live together for a lifetime.
My parents have spent a lifetime of money and effort on me, but I have no chance to be with them. How could I allow someone who has been reluctant to spend money on me since we got married and who always plots against my parents to live with me for a lifetime. So what if I have a child? I think some commentators are right. Didn’t I take her to the hospital when she was sick? Why do you want to live with me? My parents don’t live with me! I hope she leaves me quickly, leaves quickly.
I had a conversation with my husband last night, and my husband agreed to let his mother rent a house. It's just that his mother can't accept it now, and she still blames his son for being led astray by me. The house has not been decided yet, but sometimes I think about it. When you have a daughter, you must look for a husband with wisdom and a husband with better financial conditions. You must not find a husband with less financial conditions than yourself and who is not smart. Being honest alone is of no use. Women will be relatively tired if they are unable to turn around, have no ability to solve problems, and cannot think of solutions.
Some people ask why we still don’t have a second home after ten years of marriage. This is indeed a question we have considered. Friends around me who are living better have moved to bigger houses or bought second homes. Whether a family has money or not actually has a lot to do with the family and parents. In many families, parents work hard, and so do their children, so the family naturally gets rich very quickly. It just so happens that my husband's parents want to provide for themselves in old age soon, and my husband is just getting by. His monthly salary is enough for family expenses.
Of course, my husband has his own advantages. He doesn’t have the extra money to wander around, he is more considerate of his family, and he is more economical, but he cannot make a fortune just by doing this. In the past ten years, I have only saved 400,000 yuan in my hand, but he has spent almost nothing on all expenses. It is too difficult to buy a second house.
My parents really never thought about buying a house for their daughter when I got married. What the father thought was that his daughter was his daughter and there was no need to buy it if she wanted to get married. Later, they regretted this after the marriage. I only bought a house worth 700,000 yuan in my hometown two years ago. This was with my consent. I bought it for them to provide for their retirement. They don’t want to live with us like my mother-in-law and make people annoying. Those who have a daughter, indeed in this era, should prepare a house for her in advance. In this society, many men are trying to take advantage of the woman, and it is not just the woman who can rely on the man.
Sometimes I just feel that with my husband, I can’t turn over. If I married a man who was a little smarter and had a little more money, he could buy a house with me now. My parents are very hard-working old people. Now they are 66 years old. They are still self-reliant and can earn as much as they can. I am not a lazy woman, I just married my husband and I feel like I am being dragged down by him in many things. Sometimes I think that the kind of man a woman marries determines what kind of world you will have in the future!
Okay, let me explain clearly why my mother-in-law came here.
At first, I actually asked my husband to ask her to help cook for us, because in the early stages of my pregnancy, I had a job, but my husband didn’t have a job, and my husband’s family didn’t give me any financial support. It was impossible for me to quit my job and rely on my dad to raise the baby at home. Mom financially supports.
When I was five months old, it was inconvenient to have a big belly. My husband had just found a new job and could no longer cook for me at home. When I came back from get off work, I had to buy groceries and cook again, so I asked my mother-in-law to cook for me. After giving birth to a baby, my husband still couldn't support the family, and his job was not as good as mine. I couldn't give up my job, otherwise my parents would still help me support the family, so I returned to the company immediately after my maternity leave and continued working. At that time, I had an extra thought: I wanted my mother-in-law to continue taking care of the children so that I could go to work. However, I never thought about living with her permanently in the future, and she never negotiated terms with me in this way.
But how old was the baby in the middle? I hinted that she and her father-in-law could go back to their hometown and have a good rest. She refused angrily, meaning that I wanted to drive her away, which was unkind. Later, she made several hints, but she angrily rejected them. Until two or three years ago, when she cheated on another man, her father-in-law went back to his hometown in anger, and she refused to let go.
I mentioned that my mother-in-law cheated and was unwilling to live with her father-in-law after she dumped her. This was her own choice, and everyone has to pay the price for their choice. But she came to live with our family without my permission. She directly transferred the price she borne to our family and intervened in our lives. I have no obligation to take responsibility for her decision to cheat.
Now that my daughter has grown up, I cannot let her live in the same room with my daughter for the rest of her life unless I am no longer here. She never had the intention to vacate, so of course I had to drive her away. I never said that I wanted to live with her forever. It was her secret plan in her heart that she wanted to live with us.
Actually, who was right and wrong in the past is no longer that important to me. I have also changed from a person who cared a lot about other people's opinions to a person who no longer cares about what others think of me! In the past, I was naive and cared about other people's opinions and liked to enjoy other people's praise and my own honor. Now I am relatively hard-hearted. You just want to go in the direction you want to go. Maybe this is why people become particularly stubborn when they get older. The tempering and experience of life gradually change your personality with the environment, and thus form a self-righteous life experience. This solid thinking mode becomes a kind of brain neural memory after a long time, even if you have known it for a long time. Others still have modes to switch to, but your brain memory doesn’t allow it! Therefore, as people age, their personalities are basically solidified and it is difficult to change them.
When people reach middle age, they don’t want to change anything about themselves. Just do whatever makes you feel comfortable! Why care about so many opinions. Some judges are right when they say that you should never expect much in return for your children. Most parents are giving types. Although society advocates that you raise me when I am young, and I will raise you when you are old, you should have known that taking care of children and taking care of the elderly are essentially different. Children grow up day by day, and you work hard, but they can give you different surprises in feedback. , you can see that taking care of the elderly is the same, except that you think it is your obligation and responsibility, what you basically see is the negative energy of him aging day by day and heading for destruction. The mood of the two is different. The former is to look forward to him growing up and seeing hope, while the latter is to persist and persist and see every cell of him disappear in the world. This is why there is a saying: "There is no filial son in bed for a long time."
In fact, life is a self-cultivation. If you think that you have given a lot, the other party will understand you and give you corresponding rewards. This kind of mentality often leads to disappointment later.
The joys and sorrows between people are not the same at all. You cannot let the people who enjoy your efforts put themselves in your shoes and feel the joys and sorrows you let go of at the same time. He will understand only when he becomes someone who has experienced it, and by that time, you will be old or gone. Therefore, taking care of yourself, arranging yourself, leaving a way out for yourself, and using the extra energy to take care of others is always the most reliable way for everyone.
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