Writer Yuri Bondarev once said: "The root of all human suffering is the lack of a sense of boundaries."
Even between parents and children, there needs to be a sense of boundaries. Children are not your puppets. They have their own ideas and secrets. They long for their own private space and are unwilling to share some little secrets.
If parents don’t know how to respect their children’s privacy and thoughts, they always feel that their children are still young and are worried that they have gone the wrong way, so they try their best to check their privacy, such as looking through their children’s diaries, mobile phones, and directly questioning them. It can easily cause children to resist and affect the parent-child relationship.
This is especially true when you are with friends. Don’t ask about things you shouldn’t ask, and don’t care about things you shouldn’t care about. Even if you are doing it for his own good, you are an outsider after all. Furthermore, you are not the person involved and don’t know the details at all. The situation, not knowing the full picture, and not commenting are the standards that should be followed in life.
In particular, you need to pay attention to one thing, that is, the boundaries between getting along with friends of the opposite sex. Regardless of whether you two are married or not, as long as you are not in a relationship, you should abide by the rules of heterosexual interactions and not cross the line. Otherwise, it will easily cause misunderstandings.
If you like him, express your love openly. If you don't tell him, he won't tell you. If you don't understand each other's feelings, you may miss a good match. If you are just ordinary friends, you should have a sense of boundaries. This is not only responsible for each other, but also for your significant other.
Leo Tolstoy once said: "Love is to select a man or a woman from among many people, and then never pay attention to the behavior of other people of the opposite sex."
Whether it is a man or a woman, the possessive desire for the other half They are all very strong, and they attach great importance to the bottom line of loyalty. No matter how much he loves you, as long as you dare to touch this bottom line, even if you don't do anything sorry for him, your relationship will turn red.
"You still have the nerve to contact me, do you know? You made my mother so angry that she was admitted to the hospital. Go away, never show up in front of me again, and don't let me see you, a wanton woman, again."
heard Yang Rongrong cried at the man's scolding and wanted to explain again. The call had been hung up and she didn't have the courage to call again.
01. Having been in love for many years and having passed the hurdle of being parents, they could have become a very happy couple;
The reason why Yang Rongrong’s prospective mother-in-law was hospitalized was indeed because Yang Rongrong’s behavior angered her. She made it clear that as long as she was alive, Yang Rongrong would never be allowed to enter her home.
In the eyes of people around, the marriage between Yang Rongrong and her boyfriend was originally a good match. The two people were a perfect match in terms of personal and family conditions.
Yang Rongrong and her boyfriend graduated from the same university. They established a relationship in their junior year. After graduation, they met with their parents. Since the two families were in similar conditions and were well matched, Yang Rongrong, who was pretty, lively and lovable, was also recognized by her boyfriend's parents.
"Originally, his parents wanted us to get married as soon as possible, but I think we are still young. After studying for more than ten years and finally graduating, we should enjoy a few years of personal life instead of getting married and becoming mothers immediately. He also I agreed, convinced my parents, and we decided to wait until my 25th birthday to get married.”
Last year, after getting permission from my parents, the two of us lived together and started getting along. At the beginning of this year, we got our parents together. After discussing the matter of marriage, they finally set the wedding date in August this year, and they would get married as soon as Yang Rongrong celebrated her 25th birthday.
From the time they fell in love until now, Yang Rongrong and her boyfriend have had a very good relationship, and they rarely quarreled. However, their quarrels were most likely over one person, and that was Yang Rongrong's male best friend.
02. Her boyfriend was very disgusted with the fact that she had a male best friend. She didn't take it seriously and only thought that he was jealous.
"My male best friend is my high school classmate. We were roommates for half a year when we were in the first year of high school. We often joked together, copied each other's homework, and went out to play together on weekends. We had a good relationship.In my eyes, he is my best friend and my good buddy. ”
Although the two went to different universities and had their own lovers, Yang Rongrong has always maintained close contact with her male best friends, often giving each other gifts and red envelopes on some festivals. Yang Rongrong’s male best friends in her circle of friends have never Liked it once every time, and when they went back to their hometown during the Chinese New Year, the two of them would have dinner with each other.
Once, my boyfriend didn’t want to. He accidentally discovered that someone had sent Yang Rongrong a 520 red envelope, and he was curious. At that time, he thought it was Yang Rongrong's relative. After learning that it was Yang Rongrong's friend and a boy, it immediately attracted his attention. After chatting, Yang Rongrong told her everything about her boyfriend.
"He has a girlfriend, right?" That's good. I'm not telling you, it's not a big deal to make friends, but you have to be careful. A boy sends a 520 red envelope to a girl who is not his girlfriend. If his girlfriend sees it, won't he be angry? "
At that time, Yang Rongrong didn't pay attention to her boyfriend's words. Now, she understood that her boyfriend was telling her in a subtle way that he was angry and didn't want other boys to send red envelopes with such sensitive numbers to their girlfriends.
After that, The two of them went for Yang Rongrong's best friend again There have been conflicts because her boyfriend felt that Yang Rongrong was too close to her male best friend. For example, the two of them often had dinner together, and Yang Rongrong put the stuffed toys given by her male best friend on the bedside table. These things were unacceptable to her boyfriend.
"I thought he was unacceptable. I was jealous and didn't take it seriously. I thought it was funny and deliberately provoked him. "
03. My marriage is in trouble, my parents ignore me, and people around me point fingers at me. What should I do?
My boyfriend loves Yang Rongrong, although as soon as the topic of my best friend comes up, he I was angry, but I could bear it. However, this did not mean that my boyfriend’s mother could accept that her daughter-in-law was having an affair with another man.
It was Yang Rongrong’s birthday, and her mother-in-law specially cooked a table of delicious dishes for her. Yang Rongrong celebrated her birthday and discussed marriage while eating They talked and laughed happily, and Yang Rongrong seemed to have seen the happy days after marriage, when the mother-in-law was loving, the daughter-in-law was filial, and the husband and wife were loving.
At this time, the screen of Yang Rongrong’s phone lit up. Yang Rongrong opened it and saw that it was her boyfriend who had sent her a birthday red envelope. : " Rongrong , happy birthday, forever eighteen." The amount of the red envelope was 1314.
The mother-in-law-to-be was sitting next to Yang Rongrong. Naturally she saw the red envelope and her best friend's profile picture. She felt something was wrong, so she asked her son: "Little Which one is Xuan? Rongrong’s brother? I remember she was an only child! After hearing this,
’s boyfriend was so angry that he slammed the table on the spot: “It’s him again, isn’t it? 1314? Are you still shameless? Do you really not understand what such numbers represent? Are you still pretending to be confused with me? Let me ask you, if I send a 1314 to a girl, will you really think that we are just ordinary friends? "
After hearing what her son said, the mother-in-law-to-be's tone became serious and asked Yang Rongrong what was going on. Seeing that the expressions of her boyfriend and mother-in-law changed, Yang Rongrong also realized that something was wrong and hesitated and didn't know what to say. . But her boyfriend had no scruples and revealed everything about her and her male best friend.
"Mom, I can't stand it anymore. I really can't stand it anymore." I hinted to her many times that their relationship had crossed the line and I couldn't accept it. I hoped that she would care about my feelings and cut off contact with him. I didn't know it, but I was trying to show her dignity. Tell me, what man can stand his own woman and have a male best friend? "
The boyfriend was so angry that he rushed out of the door, while the mother-in-law-to-be looked at Yang Rongrong with angry eyes, then pointed at the door and told Yang Rongrong to get out immediately: "Best friend? Bah! That's what you like! How dare you insult my son and my family like this. Get out of here, I'm telling you, there's no need to talk about marriage. Don't even think about marrying my son while I'm here.You are shameless, my family still wants it! "
After learning the man's reason for breaking off the engagement, Yang Rongrong's parents were furious and kicked Yang Rongrong out of the house. Good things don't go out, but bad things spread thousands of miles. People around also knew about this and pointed fingers at Yang Rongrong. Let Yang Rongrong not know what to do.
04. Whether it is a confidante or a male best friend, to put it bluntly, they are just a fig leaf for you to be too casual with your feelings.
As the writer Yan Geling said: "Marriage is a strict discipline. Both people involved must abide by discipline, and no one can violate the bottom line and principles of marriage. Once violated, your marriage is likely to come to an end. "
Think about it for a second. If your partner has a close relationship with the opposite sex, and the two often meet in private, send each other red envelopes with sensitive numbers such as 520 and 1314, and give each other gifts, will you believe that they are innocent?
Even if you believe it, the people around you don’t believe it. There is no smoke without fire. When you are not careful enough and cause public controversy, it will also affect your relationship.
Whether it is a confidante or a male best friend, to put it bluntly, it is just a fig leaf for you to be too casual about your relationship. . Even if you are innocent, you have crossed the line and are not responsible enough for your partner. You should be punished for being irresponsible.
END.
Today’s topic: How do you feel about confidants and male besties? What do you think? Feel free to share your views in the comment area.
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