A classmate came to me recently. She told me that since she got married, she can no longer find her original self. Where has that confident, cheerful and lively woman gone?
She felt that she was getting more and more irritable, and sometimes she even felt that she was disgusting and had turned into the resentful woman she despised.
She has taken a lot of classes outside, has been reflecting on her problems in marriage, and has also done a lot of learning and trying. But the result is: Although I have learned a lot, I still can’t live a good life.
She is still unable to change the problems in her marriage. In fact, there are many women among our classmates who are constantly studying and reflecting outside. I hope to gain something from my marriage.
But in the end, they are still very frustrated. They feel that they have changed, but it seems that their husbands have not changed at all. So what I want to discuss with you today is:
Can the relationship between husband and wife really be saved by just one person's growth and change? And the reason why my wife is like this, does it only have to do with herself?
I believe that it must have a lot to do with the person living across the street. So as a man, shouldn’t he also think about whether he is satisfied with his marriage?
Have you tried to do anything to save your marriage? Have you tried to learn and grow like your wife? Then what about putting some effort into your marriage?
In fact, many women become completely different when they get married. The root cause is the three behaviors encountered by men. Because these three behaviors of a man will cause his wife to become irritable, independent and even indifferent.
In marriage, the changes in the wife must be closely related to the man. Therefore, a man does not have to complain in that marriage and feel that his wife has turned into a tigress and is no longer beautiful or beautiful.
What exactly did you do in your marriage? Let’s take a look at three behaviors that turn your wife into a different person.
The first type of man’s behavior: not understanding, not communicating, and not being tolerant of his wife in marriage.
What is understanding? That is, you can understand the needs behind your wife's actions and words.
What is communication? It means expressing yourself truly and then allowing both parties to understand what the other party wants.
What is tolerance? In a marriage, many of your wife's behaviors may make you feel unreasonable. Do you have a big heart to tolerate her?
As long as any woman meets a man who does not understand, do not communicate, and is not tolerant, then she will slowly change from whispering to yelling. We call it a tigress.
We often criticize the tigress, but we often ignore how the tigress was formed and what kind of man turned him into a tigress.
When a woman’s inner needs and appeals are not seen or understood by men, and you are not tolerant, a lot of negative energy will accumulate in her heart. I can only vent myself by criticizing and complaining.
The second kind of man's behavior: it is the wife you no longer love.
Just like in the early stages of love, we say that when a man falls in love with a woman, he usually wants to protect her and love her. Seeing her weakness, he wanted to protect her.
So if the man no longer loves the woman, the woman will become more and more independent. For example, if a man is a hands-off shopkeeper, he does not do any housework at home.
Then they don’t care about their children, and some men even don’t even care about supporting their families. This time will force women to become more powerful and independent.
Heavy housework, tedious taking care of children, repairing faucets, toilets, changing light bulbs, etc., and even making money to support the family.Just because she lacked a man to protect her and love her, she was forced to become an upright female man.
At this time, women no longer need you, because you have no meaning or value in the family. There seems to be no difference between existence and non-existence.
The third type of man’s behavior: men’s ruthlessness and indifference.
When we experienced the previous lack of communication and understanding, as well as all kinds of failure to contribute to the family, men became more and more heartless and indifferent. The wife will also become more and more indifferent.
Because she no longer has any expectations for you. She has also lost the desire to chat with you, and will never have the opportunity to act coquettishly or show weakness in front of you.
The emotions between you will be worn away. Disappointment and disappointment again and again. Slowly, this woman will become more and more indifferent to men.
At this time, if you want her to cooperate with you in exercising your husband's rights, she will refuse, because you are not there when she needs it, and you have not fulfilled the obligations of a husband.
We see too many women reflecting on their marriages, but very few men. Whether it's your pride or your inaction.
In short, such a man's behavior will lead to the collapse of a woman, so don't blame yourself. Your wife has changed from a gentle woman to a tigress, from dependence to independence, from enthusiasm to indifference, all because of you. .
From now on, you two will be separated and you will no longer need each other. Women will become tough, independent and indifferent in front of you. It's just for you.
Women, if you enter a marriage, you will completely lose sight of yourself. You went from being petite, educated, and educated, to having a loud voice, and then to a womanly man who can carry everything.
Then when you no longer have any expectations for the other party, then you have to think about it. Should this marriage be saved?
Is the other party willing to rebuild the love nest of this marriage with you? If not, maybe you need to consider whether this marriage is the one you really want.
When we talk about a family, it definitely cannot be called a home if it relies on the efforts of one person alone. Only when two people have this awareness and build this family well can they help each other.
can continue to make the wife love her, the man can take on more family responsibilities, and can protect and care for each other. Only then can this family become happy.
As long as one party acts as one, escapes, and one party does not grow, then it will be difficult for the family to move forward. So I hope everyone can understand the value and significance of the growth of both parties in marriage.
Especially men, many men are unaware of their problems in marriage. What’s the use of relying solely on the woman’s side to grow and change?
Therefore, I hope that male compatriots will have such awareness and awareness and be able to contribute more in your family and marriage. Don't be absent and do more of what you should bear. Then maybe your family will really be harmonious and happy.
What do you think after reading this article? In your marriage, who gives more? Will there still be communication between you? Is there still understanding and tolerance between you?
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