A recent hot search #Will you marry far away # mentioned a bride in the variety show "Chinese Wedding" who married 3,000 kilometers away. The story about marrying far away reminded me of Serena, a Hong Kong strong woman who married to Nigeria, Africa, in the third season of the d

A recent hot search, #Will You Marry Far Away, mentioned a bride in the variety show "Chinese Wedding" who married 3,000 kilometers away.

The "dowry" brought by the bride's father for his daughter is the certificates from childhood to adulthood, as well as dance clothes and other items full of memories. Looking at the memories her father brought from home, the bride herself couldn't help but sigh:

"So I am so good."

The father took this to tell his daughter: In our hearts, you are the best, and your parents will always support you. Welcome home.

Daughters who are married far away are what their parents care about the most.

The story about marrying far away reminds me of the documentary "Married to the Edge of the World" in the third season, Hong Kong strong woman Serena married to Africa, Nigeria, She and her African black husband were born and raised together. The economic environment and cultural background are very different. Unlike the bride above, Serena's father did not agree with the marriage. After marrying a black husband, Serena did not dare to tell her father about the suffering she had suffered. She could only knock out her teeth and swallow all the grievances...

This marriage, which many people were not optimistic about, finally turned around...

1

When" When the "African Lion"

was challenged by a big woman in Hong Kong

Serena is a native Hong Kong girl who once worked as a marketing manager in a large company.

is decisive in the workplace and independent and strong in life. She is a typical "Hong Kong girl".

now lives in Nigeria the most prosperous city Lagos and is a full-time wife.

His husband, Sean, runs a second-hand car dealer in Lagos. He imports second-hand cars from China and sells them to local people. He lives a prosperous life.

Although they are happy now, they have experienced many twists and turns.

They met in Hong Kong ten years ago.

Sean came to Hong Kong to find a job, and Serena, who was in her early thirties at the time, was ending a relationship.

One day, Serena was at work, and her eyes suddenly became red and shed tears, so she and her boss asked for leave to see a doctor. After seeing the doctor, she was walking on the street. In the blur, a person asked her for directions. She pointed in the direction, and the two of them started talking. Part ways.

Unexpectedly, a few weeks later, while having a drink with a friend, the friend said that a friend nearby wanted to give him something. This friend's friend was none other than Sean.

Sean was surprised when he saw Serena: "It's you! (It's you)". It turned out that he was the passerby who asked for directions, and he fell in love with her at first sight. Serena didn't even remember meeting this person at the time, and just thought that such a conversation was cliché.

With Sean's company and understanding, Serena walked out of her lovelorn relationship, and her heart was finally moved by him. After three years of marriage, the two embraced each other and gave birth to a son and a daughter.

However, Nigeria, Africa, where Sean was born, is an extremely patriarchal country. There, everything a man does is right, and he does not have to bear any consequences. The first condition for marrying a wife is to be obedient and obedient, and take good care of the family and husband.

Sean said in an interview: "Generally, people I know in Nigeria believe that men should dominate everything."

The "machismo" of Nigerian men is not ordinary machismo.

And the independence of Hong Kong women is not ordinary independence.

At the beginning of their relationship, Serena and Sean went out to eat. He was shocked when he saw Serena making love to him after dinner.

“I don’t even know what to do.”

After marriage, due to Sean’s machismo, he was often self-centered and felt that his wife should obey him and obey him. And Serena also sticks to her bottom line and is determined not to be "Yes Woman (a woman who obeys orders) " and will not wrong herself.This made Sean feel that his "authority" was being challenged, and quarrels often broke out between the two. "Mars collided with the earth."

Take the education issue of a pair of children. Serena wants her children to go to a local school in Hong Kong and learn Chinese like ordinary primary school students, but Sean is firmly opposed:

"These are my children! I want them to go to an international school and speak English." This is my decision, you just need to listen, no need to say more

Serena is not a vegetarian, she replied directly in English:

"I am Chinese, I am not weak. You married the wrong person, I am not a person." A woman who obeys orders.”

In relationships, Serena and Sean are evenly matched. Faced with Sean's unreasonable demands due to selfishness, she insisted on expressing what she wanted and had the ability to refuse.

The running-in period is the most painful.

When they quarrel, the two of them can say any hurtful thing. After giving birth to her first child, she was so weak that she seriously considered divorcing her husband, who was still strong.

But after every quarrel, her husband's initiative to seek peace, coupled with the strong opposition from her mother's family to marry him, left her with no one to talk to. In addition, she decided to persevere for the sake of the child, and the two of them stumbled and trudged along. After the first few years.

2

Married to Africa

Her husband smiles again

But she is depressed

The time in the documentary is 2019, when she had been married to Nigeria for a year.

The couple have been married for ten years and have lived in Hong Kong for nearly ten years. Why did they "suddenly" return to their husband's hometown?

It turned out that after marriage, Serena found that the light in her husband's eyes slowly disappeared.

Because many people have never had contact with black people, Sean encountered a lot of discrimination: In the elevator, there was an elderly woman sitting in the elevator with him, covering her mouth and nose in front of him, not hiding the look and contempt in her eyes. When the couple takes the subway, no one sits on the seat next to the husband, or as soon as he sits down, the people around him leave with disgusted expressions.

Someone even said in front of her: "You look dignified, why did you marry a black man?"

The accumulation of small things in life, coupled with the few job opportunities for Sean, made him depressed and could only do it by himself. Some small businesses, but when small businesses are not easy to do, they have to start thinking of a way out.

happened to have a business opportunity in his hometown of Nigeria, so he began to consider leaving Hong Kong, where he had lived for nearly ten years.

However, Sean has no hope that his wife will follow him back to his hometown.

So when he heard her say "yes", he couldn't believe it himself:

"I was very shocked. It was one of the best things in my life. I am very grateful to her."

When I really arrived in Nigeria, I saw everything The news allowed Serena to understand the background of her husband's life. In the past, she didn't like her husband doing this or that, and he never liked to explain. But when he arrived in his hometown, he found his home ground and would patiently explain to his wife one by one why he did what he did here.

not only introduces the customs and customs, but also gently explains the reasons behind his actions. She began to understand the reasons behind her previous husband's "unpleasant" behavior.

also because of more communication, the two people began to understand each other. The husband also feels a sense of mission to protect his wife.

Nigeria is a country with the largest number of extremely poor people in the world.

There are 190 million people here, half of whom live on $2 a day.

has experienced decades of civil war and constant conflicts. At night, the streets turn into "Sin City", filled with unemployed men who gather in groups looking for opportunities to rob at night.

There are no subways or buses, only 7-seater minivans, which are often packed like sardines. If you want to take a semi-open yellow car, you can easily get robbed.

There is no clean water. Serena once suffered from malaria. Her limbs are not like her own, and life is worse than death.

She knew about the legendary "men are superior to women" from the servants around her.

When her husband is at home, they obey her orders. As soon as her husband goes out, they ignore her as the mistress. As soon as her husband comes back, they seem to change their faces and return to their submissive appearance.

This attitude of changing faces faster than a magic trick surprised her: "Women themselves look down on women."

She cannot go out without a man to take her with her. Her husband is on a business trip and she has not been out for a week. At eight o'clock in the evening, she didn't dare to go out.

Once, she didn’t want to live in jail and really wanted to escape back to Hong Kong, but she didn’t have a car and couldn’t even get to the airport.

But for my husband, life here is much better than in Hong Kong.

By selling second-hand cars, he made more money than he could earn in Hong Kong, allowing his family to live in a villa in his own country, with a spacious house and a prosperous life.

In his hometown, he is a powerful man, a responsible husband in the eyes of the villagers, and even a "dream" in the eyes of many women. After many years of studying and living abroad, it is finally time to "return home".

Serena felt that the smile when she first met her husband had returned to his face.

For her, this trip would be worthwhile if she could "meet" such a husband again.

Although there are many women staring at her husband, she is confident: "What's mine is mine."

No matter how chaotic the outside world is, their small home is safe and stable, which is enough.

3

Maintain his "manly dignity"

He pays more for her

After a year of living in a distant marriage, she summed up a "rule" for living with her husband locally, which is to endure.

Men here value "manly dignity" most: whether they are loyal and whether they take care of their families.

Many relatives and friends asked him to borrow money for her husband's "return to his hometown" and took it for granted. Although she was very angry on the spot and thought "why", at the moment, she would endure it and protect her husband's "man" in the eyes of the fellow villagers. dignity".

When I get home, it's another story. You can make as much noise as you want.

went back to her husband's countryside to attend his uncle's 70th birthday celebration. Everyone was dressed up, with immediate family members wearing blue and non-immediate family members wearing orange.

At this time, the woman should dress up the most beautiful and beautiful, so as to show that the man has face and that he takes good care of the family.

Although women are like "accessories" to men at this time, but understanding the local culture, Serena also dresses herself up beautifully in order to make her husband look good in front of people in her hometown and make her husband happy.

On these occasions, as a strong woman, she puts aside "herself". For Serena, these things within her power are nothing, but they can bring great help to her husband and make the relationship between the couple harmonious and beautiful. Why not.

The husband always remembers his efforts. Facing his wife’s Hong Kong friends who came from afar, the husband also regards them as his friends. The film crew had a long journey and he drove the whole journey. Although he was very tired, he had no complaints. , thoughtfully allowing the crew members to have a good rest.

Later, the film crew’s luggage was in another place and they had to go all the way to pick up their luggage. Sean decided to let them go back to the hotel to rest and drive to pick up the luggage himself.

At that time, the host thought: "This man is so sweet."

Because he was grateful to his wife, he opened his heart and introduced his hometown to his wife's friends. When a husband feels that he is respected as the "head of the family," he feels that he has unlimited energy to serve his wife.

is written at the end:

In relationships, men and women are equal, , evenly matched.

This is especially true for women who marry far away. When a man unreasonably wants his wife to obey him, Serena sticks to her boundaries and expresses that she is not weak and her husband cannot treat her like this.

But Serena chose to give up her life in Hong Kong and follow her husband to a foreign land, not because of weakness, but because of careful consideration. Choose him, become your partner on the road to the future, and plan together what is a better future for the two of you.

In a foreign land, she complied with the local culture and did enough "appearance" in front of her fellow villagers. She praised her husband and dressed herself up, so that her husband was satisfied, felt respected and needed, and was more willing to pay for her.

We have also written before about African girls marrying to China - an African girl born in the 1990s married a Chinese rural uncle, and 8 million fans watched her cooking. "Not only did she learn to cook, but she also learned from her attitude towards life."

in After marrying far away, African girls, like Serena, more or less encountered many difficulties, full of patience and hardship, but this is the love and life they chose, and they have explored and mastered their own skills to keep it fresh, Let this marriage "survive". This also allows us to see that although the process of loving someone is not perfect, there is still hope of loving someone for a lifetime.