When children see that their parents are willing to admit their mistakes, they will respect their parents' views more in the future because they know that their parents also respect their views.
Author | Yu Hui Happy Double Wing Student
Coordinates | Shandong Qingdao
The eldest daughter is 13 years old this year, in the first year of junior high school, she is addicted to mobile games and cannot extricate herself. She is a fanatical mobile game fan.
Since she was slapped in the face and threw her phone angrily, she has never gone out again and has not gone to school.
7/6
6The 42nd day of the child's retiring
After we had the second baby, we ignored the eldest daughter intentionally or unintentionally, and we didn't know when it started, and we didn't discipline her on the phone.
Gradually, she became more and more intimate with her mobile phone, and her relationship with our family became more and more cold. Even her sister, I wish I could stuff her back into my stomach.
The primary school academic burden is relatively light, and even though she plays mobile games, she can still deal with it.
After entering junior high school, we respected the wishes of our eldest daughter and entered a private junior high school that pays more attention to learning. The academic burden is much heavier than before.
There is a contradiction between playing with mobile phones and learning, so I have control over my children. The family quarrels all the time, and even fights every now and then.
Parent-child relationship has dropped to freezing point, especially her and her father, who never talks about human language. I feel like my family is about to fall apart, and I don’t know how I survived those days.
Through this period of study, I know that the general direction is correct. As long as I give my children time and space, and give myself time and belief, my child will definitely be able to get back on track.
Cultivate yourself in the wings of happiness, grow yourself, and give back to your home and society with strong inner strength.
67-9
Children's 45th day after school
At half past ten, my eldest daughter's mobile phone was off the Internet and asked me to open the Internet for her. We made an appointment to surf her the Internet as long as we complete today's math homework.
The eldest daughter completed it as promised. It was already past eleven o'clock at that time. I didn't want my daughter to go to bed too late, so I asked to only open the Internet for half an hour.
As soon as she said this, she shouted loudly: "Didn't you say you want to open the Internet? Why did it take half an hour? Didn't you say you all open the Internet?"
I realized that my daughter's understanding was biased, and she tried to explain it to her irritable daughter, and she became even more angry.
Seeing that the situation was not good, I shut up and said to her, "Child, please calm down first, calm down, and then let's talk later."
My daughter still refused to give in and pushed me. I kept reminding myself not to anger her anymore, so I sat down slowly without saying a word.
The eldest daughter had nowhere to vent her anger and beat her up on the side. After a while, the eldest daughter said a vicious sentence: "I will never listen to your nonsense again!" She slammed the door and locked her door.
Looking at the aggrieved second baby, the angry boss, and my husband who had not returned home while drinking, I got angry.
I thought again: With this emotion, can I solve the problem? I took a deep breath and thought about balancing emotions course "Red light pauses, stop loss in time" .
At this time, I can't hurt Erbao with emotion. I stop complaining about my second child and send her to my grandma's house. I will come back and communicate with the eldest child well.
sent the second treasure away, and I became even more calm. I thought about what is worthy of recognition in this incident?
Entered the oldest room and saw the child pouting. I went up and begged for a hug. She pushed me away with disgust, but I still insisted on hugging the child.
Seeing her expression relaxed, I began to be sure of what my eldest daughter did well.
For example, when the sister angered her again, she resisted not hitting her sister again, and was able to stop the loss in time, control her emotions, and walked away.
I expressed concern to her again, told her the reason for limiting the Internet time, and said: "Mom is worried about your eyes and your health. This is my bottom line. I love you very much and don't want you to be sick. I will feel sorry for you."
The eldest daughter was not as resistant as before. She started chatting with me. The mother and daughter relaxed their hearts and felt relieved.
The conflict between me and my child was not solved perfectly, but at least the relationship with the child was not broken. Although the emotions exploded, they were aware of them in time and balanced their emotions, and the result was still good.
Through recent learning, I found that the theories and methods I have learned are still not skilled enough in actual use, and they are not practiced properly, and they still need to be practiced deliberately.
July 12
Teammates were quietly changing
Last night, the teammates were on duty and didn't go home, but quietly skipped the shift and went home for a while.
I asked him why he got home, and he said to come back to see the children. The eldest brother is not worry-free, and the second brother is sick again. Before this, he absolutely obeyed orders, strictly enforced them, and never left his post on duty.
My teammate, a man with responsibility and responsibility, being attentive and thoughtful is his most unique advantage.
In my opinion, this advantage is also a disadvantage. He is too careful and careful, which makes me feel ashamed. Compared with him, why am I so careless?
Since I learned the Wings of Happiness, I have indeed changed a lot. 's ability to stabilize emotions has been greatly improved, and communication with children is much smoother. When getting along with teammates, there is no much resentment, but instead discuss the matter and communicate calmly.
My changes have brought about a harmonious family atmosphere, and the relationship between husband and wife and parent-child relationship has become more peaceful.
You should know that before studying, I was at home "Hedong Lion Roar + Resentful Woman + Furious Mom" mode . As soon as my teammates got home, they wanted to go out to escape. The first thing they said when they got home was, "Can you hear it from outside the door?"
I haven't heard my teammate say this for a long time.
67/22
6Repeat
Recently, my mood is relatively stable, but my daughter is back before liberation.
I don’t know what I said wrong, or my teammates always reminded my daughter to do homework, which made her bored. This adolescent child continues to be addicted to games and cannot extricate himself.
However, the current attitude towards games has changed, and I am more interested in the experience brought by the game process, rather than the result. Unlike before, if you lose the game, you will vent your anger on your family. This is progress!
The daughter's attitude to speaking with her family became more peaceful. She spoke like her enemies before, gritting her teeth.
Sometimes, she will adopt the suggestions I give to her. Before, she would just ask me to get out if she opened her mouth.
My daughter hasn't gone to school for two months, so she will feel uncomfortable, and it will be difficult for her to adapt at once and need to take it slowly. I didn't force her to do her homework, after all, she couldn't force her.
splits the big target into small targets, making one small step every day, and the power of 1.01 is equal to 37.8.
grow yourself, explore the potential of self , and explore the infinite possibilities of achieving children .
9-6
When I watched the last lesson with my daughter
Holding the last lesson with me.
I affirmed her in time: "You are very high in your ideological awareness now!"
My daughter said proudly: "Mom, there are some truths, I know too!"
I gave my daughter a thumbs up.
After we watched the teacher talk about two cases together, I said to my daughter:
"Mom doesn't want you to go to school, it is based on getting a mobile phone. I think that balancing and coordinating mobile phones, study and life is a kind of ability that requires lifelong practice."
Now school is on, and my daughter still refuses to go to school, so the mobile phone is confiscated by his father, and he can only play on two days on weekends.
Sometimes, children will complain, "You don't believe me." There is a lesson in the past, and we dare not try and make mistakes again, so our teammates plan to use their mobile phones to threaten their children to go to school.
My point is to gradually let children find interest in learning and reduce their dependence on mobile phones. I am following my position and cooperating with my teammates in this area.
My daughter took off school and was at home. I only did constructive things , and only said constructive words , but I sincerely affirmed her, and tried to fill in the pit and no longer dig pits.
continue to work hard on family links, focus on personality cultivation, and knowledge needs children to work hard after going to school.
The general policy of "family affection first, personality second, knowledge third, proceed in order, and no one can be missed" needs to be carefully interpreted with teammates.
Teammates always value knowledge from beginning to end. Take your time, and people will grow.
9 September 19
My self-confidence journey - ultimate review
After two months of self-confidence courses, my family atmosphere has become more and more warm, family members have become more harmonious, and husband-wife and parent-child relationships have reached a higher level.
The original intention of learning home is to make the eldest daughter in adolescence and to become a more qualified mother and child's life leader.
The result is that the whole family benefits, and of course the biggest beneficiary is myself.
In the three magic weapons of self-confidence practice, I first tried the "Method" with my body, and then applied it to my children.
For example, the 341 affirmation method , use the inner 341 affirmation method to perceive yourself and make all-round affirmation of yourself.
Yesterday at noon, my husband complained that I was slow to cook and delayed going out together in the afternoon, and arranged for the eldest daughter to transfer and resume school.
My husband said to my mother, "She always cooks so slowly. Look, it has been two hours since the beginning!"
This little thing, if I put it in the past, my husband will definitely be scolded by me, and it will also affect others, and bad emotions will continue to spread and even escalate.
But this time, I didn't say anything, pretended not to hear, and used the inner 341 affirmation method while cooking, thinking:
"My husband hasn't learned homeschooling either, forgive him! After all, his inner motivation is to finish lunch as soon as possible and go out to do business as soon as possible.
This time he only said such an indifferent sentence, unlike before, chatting endlessly. Find an opportunity in the future, communicate with him sincerely, and tell him my inner feelings. "
The waves in my heart have returned to peace, and I quietly transformed my emotions.
On the contrary, the eldest daughter came over and stood up for me: "Mom, dad always thinks you cook slowly, don't pay attention to him!"
The child came to comfort me, and suddenly felt that has a lot of happiness ! Although my teammates still say some "bad" words, the eldest daughter said that my father has become much better now than before.
My original intention of learning has made me feel full of happiness. My goal is to make love flow at home. It seems that it has been achieved at this stage, so what will be the next goal? I'm looking forward to it!
This mother spent two months repairing her family affection bit by bit, helping her daughter take a break from school for nearly 100 days and returning to school. This is a great progress!
At present, many parents are worried about their children playing with their mobile phones. Lock your phone, disconnect the Internet, scold you when you see it, and rob if you don’t return it... Have you ever thought that the one who is wrong may not be the phone, but Our attitude towards children ?
Only by using our high-quality companionship to exchange for the company of our mobile phones can children reduce their dependence on their mobile phones.
After reading today's article, what is your attitude towards your child playing with your phone? Leave a message to tell us!
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