The following year, domestic media conducted a public perception survey on campus bullying. The results showed that among the 36,000+ netizens who participated in the survey, more than half of the people had personally encountered campus bullying, and 24.2% had bullied others.

In 2016, United Nations Children's Fund released a report on campus bullying. Among the data samples composed of 100,000 young people in 18 countries, an average of 1 in every 4 students have encountered campus bullying.

2 years, domestic media conducted a public awareness survey on campus bullying. The results showed that among the 36,000+ netizens who participated in the survey, more than half of the people had personally encountered campus bullying, and 24.2% had bullied others.

And about 83.9% of these bullies have been bullied.

According to the respondents' recollection, 38.2% of bullies completely gave up their studies, 30% transferred to other schools, and 24.6% did not come to school for a short period of time.

suicide and taking up weapons and turning into bullies has also become one of the ways for children to fight against school bullying.

According to the report released by United Nations Educational Science and Technology in 2019, campus bullying has spread around the world, and almost one in every three children is suffering from bullying.

The word "bullying" looks particularly ferocious in front of the data.

Dear, have you ever experienced school bullying?

How did you face it?

23-year-old Chen Sihan has no youth. His most precious seven years were spent in juvenile custody office .

One day in 2014, Chen Sihan was blocked in an alley by school bully Li Xiaodong and others, and the perpetrator threatened to "kill each other with one knife".

When Chen Sihan, who had been punched and kicked, was stabbed in the back again by a knife, he stabbed the knife in his hand...

This battle due to bullying ended with "one death and one serious injury". Chen Sihan, who survived by chance, was sentenced to eight years in prison.

In 2020, Chen Sihan was released from prison on parole . Although he had been in his life for seven years, it was not blank.

is in the dark room, Chen Sihan can still receive letters from friends and receive encouragement from prison guards .

He obtained a college degree and planned to become a practicing lawyer in the future.

bullying once ruined his life, but did not lower his backbone of self-esteem.

faced bullying, the correct posture was late, but was not absent.

Just, not everyone is so lucky.

• Last year, the photographer who ended his life at the beach reviewed the violence he suffered on campus in his suicide note;

• An 18-year-old high school girl in Shaanxi Province jumped off a building and died, suspected of being insulted by her classmates for a long time;

• 13-year-old girl in Anhui was slapped 64 times in the toilet and fainted from strength.
• 5 children in a city in Liaoning raped boys. They not only beat and kicked them, but also recorded the video of them kneeling down and begging for mercy, trampling on the dignity of the bullies...

When the bullying incident occurred, we were dumbfounded: It was just a child, why are they so cruel?

What we care more about is: Why are those harmless children selected? Why do parents know nothing about the aggrieved children?



Someone once interviewed the bullied: When did you find out that you were bullied?

Some people said, "When I was a child, I was short and fat. My classmates called me a little fat man and a little slut. As soon as I ran, they would cheer me up and get over, a little fat man..."

Some people said, "The day after I got the three good students, my textbook was painted so badly, and the man proudly held up his pen and told me that it was him.”

Someone said: “I complained to the teacher that some classmates bullied others, and the next day I became the target of being beaten. He threatened me that if I didn't hit others like him, he would organize others to hit me. I know it's wrong to hit someone, but I can't beat him. "

was unscrupulously provoked, blatantly distorted, required to surrender unconditionally, and unable to resist after being bullied. These are the background colors of bullying.



When Xiaomei was 10 years old, she moved to another city with her parents and went to a school that was much better than before.

But Xiaomei was not happy, and the strange class group made her nervous: she introduced herself on the first day of class, she lowered her head, and couldn't say a few complete words.

very quickly. Her crappy accent, incompatible study habits, and a little red-skin on the plateau all became the focus of everyone's teasing.

Someone drew a cartoon, deliberately making her face red, and wrote next to it: Xiaomei's face = monkey butt;

Every time she answered a question, someone pinched her nose and whispered to imitate.

And after hearing this, the teacher just guided two sentences impatiently.

parents think that this is a necessary process for children to integrate into the group, and it is harmless.

The more cowardly she is, the more everyone is excited; the more they are, the more they want to "play" something fresh.

homework written is painted, red medicine is poured on the stool, and sitting behind Xiaomei constantly insults her and is dirty.

Only the person involved knows deeply that all pranks are foreshadowing of bullying.

最天子文版的文版的文版的文版的文版的文版的文版的文版的文版的文版的文版的文版的文版的文版的文版的文版的文版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版版� 6 All the strange things that are not paid attention to may be the accomplices of the final result.

And why do those bullies have malicious intentions?

It is often very simple to arouse their desire to bully -

• The other party looks weak and can be bullied. It is true that they don’t resist, and it’s better to fiddle with it if they don’t resist.
• The other party’s resistance makes you more desire to conquer.

In general, it is "venting your breath".

Maybe it is particularly easy to understand when we say this: The reason why a bully becomes a bully is not to bully anyone, but to envy and transfer -

He envys that person has the attention of his teacher or parents, and envys that person has things he cannot get;

Or he has been strongly suppressed by a person who is stronger than him. In front of that person, he is weak and unable to resist. There is a piece in his heart, and there is a person that is obviously weaker than him and easier to squeeze.



Hailan Happiness Family Practice Teacher Niu Zhihong once provided "psychological assistance" at a certain Federation of Trade Unions for a period of time. The rules of bullies she found made people cry:

A little boy with poor grades has many wounds on his body, from bullies and his parents.

The child was raised by my grandmother. Parents who are tired of living have limited understanding of their children and have many requirements. Whenever their children's grades are not ideal, or they act coquettishly and naughty, they will inevitably be beaten.

At first, the child would hide and cry, but later he found that the more he cried, the more he was beaten, so he simply did not cry or make a fuss.

Therefore, when he was bullied in school, he automatically and consciously became a family state. As long as he did not resist and did not fight back, others would stop if they felt bored.

Speaking of this, the child is not sad at all.

He isolated the pain and fear of being beaten, but this kind of wound will be rooted in the heart and become a hidden danger on the child's growth path.

In fact, the reason why a child becomes a bully is not because "a slap can't be slapped" or "He did something annoying and deserves to be beaten", but because the temperament exudes from his body is telling others that "I'm easy to bully."

Why do sharks pounce on you when animals are injured?

Because blood will flow out, for sharks, blood means that some animals are injured and they have a chance.

animals are all species that bully the weak and fear the strong.

After you reveal your weakness, others know that you can bully it, it has nothing to do with your grades, height, etc. It is the smell of your body that can be bullied, just like the bloody smell of a shark.

The child was already injured before he was bullied.

At this time, what he needs is not the sentence "If someone else hits you, you will hit you back", but the way parents treat their children back and find the answer to fight bullying from their own behavior.



To solve this problem, Teacher Niu made an appointment with the child's mother.

Mother admitted: If you were in a good mood that day, you would often guide your child positively; if you were in a bad mood, you would be angry when you saw your child crying, making trouble and disobedient when you came home, and you would be angry and often beat and scold.

This is the so-called " kicking the cat effect " -

Our body and emotional energy have been overdrawn for a day. Therefore, in the process of getting along with children, it is easy to explode, venting the anger, suspicion, anxiety, and pressure accumulated in the day on people who are close to us and are weaker than us.

It’s not that we don’t love children, we just can’t control ourselves.



And those bullies' families also have the same characteristics.

Their parents either overspoken or overly harshly restrain themselves.

You may have watched " Youth of You ",

The perpetrator Wei Lai looks well-behaved and sensible in front of his teachers and parents, and privately, he relies on bullying his classmates for fun. The incredible contrast between

, and the truth behind it is sad.

Wei Lai's father likes to use cold violence against her. When his grades are not ideal, his father can not talk to her for a year.

And Wei Lai's mother believes that she has given Wei Lai the best education. If there is any mistake, it must be the other child's heart. It is absolutely impossible for Wei Lai's mistake.

Facing his companion who is weaker than him, Wei Lai put himself into the role of his parents, hoping to relieve the pain he gets from his parents through the distorted master.

The root cause of bullying and being bullied lies in the relationship between parents and children.

The bullying child must have been treated violently. And the children who were bullied must have been hurt before.

Most of the behaviors come from past experiences, and most of the trauma comes from parents, from what parents say and do.

Very few parents will realize:

Some things you say may be the smog that covers your child’s life, some things you do are trauma that children cannot heal in their lifetime; some things you do are the trauma that children cannot say in their lifetime; some things you do are the thirst of their children’s lifetime, and some things you do not do are the expectations of their children for their lifetime.



As parents, how should we help our children stay away from bullying?

• Learn to manage emotions and essentially adjust the way you get along with your children.

The core of parent-child education is not to teach children how to do it, but parents should learn to grasp their ups and downs.

people will only be open and relaxed in a relaxed, warm and loving environment. Only when parents are emotionally stable and their children are emotionally stable can they communicate effectively, otherwise they are venting their emotions, and only trauma and nightmares are brought to their children.

Dear, you can think about your childhood. How much harm did you get from your parents’ tantrums and bad words?

• can hear the child’s distress signal and intervene in time.

Many bullied children have asked their parents for help, and their parents often give the answer is "You call back, what's the use of telling me?" or "Are you causing trouble again?" Over time, the children do not receive support and are even more reluctant to communicate with their parents, so they start to face it alone in extreme and wrong ways, which eventually leads to a big disaster.

When the child tries to tell us what he has experienced in school, please do not use "prank", "fighting" and "accidentally".

We can firmly tell our children: "No one can hurt you, whether it is physical or mental. If you need our support, we are always there, and we support you unconditionally."

• Unconditional support from parents is the greatest confidence for children to face bullying.

No matter what happens, parents are their strong backings. They will not accuse and insult him, and will face it with him.

There are no cowardly children. As long as you give enough love, support, care and guidance, every child is brave.

If a child bullies others, we must also be his backing and bravely help him learn to take responsibility and correct.



Everyone makes mistakes. The most important thing is that we realize that this is a mistake. We must take it bravely, make up for it as much as possible, and correct it bravely.

We learn to listen to children. Behind every anger, sadness, sadness, and fear are his cry of lack of safety and lack of recognition, recognition and care.

"The meaning of parents' existence is not to give their children a comfortable and prosperous life, but when you think of your parents, your heart will be full of strength and feel warmth, so that you have the courage and ability to overcome difficulties, so as to gain true fun and freedom in life."

The root of all parent-child problems is love.

Whether it is bullying or being bullied, parents should focus on falling in love and use love to resolve the inner silence of their children.