I handed the registration fee to my classmates, but I can't find it anymore, so I can only borrow money to go to school
It's like this.
During the winter vacation of the third year of senior high school, my younger brother, who was in the third year of junior high school in the same middle school, had knee surgery.
The registration fee, tuition and miscellaneous fees are all added together. It seems that mine is less than 500 yuan, and my brother's is more than 100 yuan. Now it looks like a small amount of money, not a lot, but because the family was not wealthy at the time, and my brother just spent thousands of dollars for the operation, and then took out a few hundred dollars, I was quite nervous. I was carrying a pile of money and felt heavy.
to the registration point, because there are many people in the senior high school, I have waited for a long time in the team and have not yet got my turn, in order to register for my brother in the junior high school. I thought about it for a while, and I handed my registration fee to a classmate. I won't say his name, just call him A, and ask him to sign up for me.
When I finished registering my brother and went back to the high school registration office, A had already left the team. I asked him if he had registered for me. In the hands of B in different classes of grades.
I squeezed into the team and found B, who had just registered his name - ready to go out.
He told the teacher and told the teacher that it was my registration fee, and the money was put on the table.
However, I looked on the table, and there was no separate ticket except for the money that the teacher counted and tied with a rubber band. I asked the teacher, the teacher said that I didn't see it, I lay on the ground looking for it for a long time, but there was nothing on the ground.
At this time, I realized that something was wrong and the money was lost. I asked other students with a crying voice, but no one saw it.
html cost more than 7400 yuan, what should I do for one month's living expenses of our family at that time?
I was so anxious that my face was twitching, my hands were shaking, and I was spinning around.Next to
, a classmate reported to the head teacher . The head teacher came, and only comforted me, saying don't worry, look again, look again, the registration fee can be paid later.
can be submitted later! However, when I go home and tell my parents, where will my parents take out another 500 yuan?
In desperation, I grabbed B and grabbed the corner of his shirt—like a life-saving straw after choking while swimming—and insisted that he took the money. Because he often goes to the game hall to play, he should be short of money, and he has this motive. I grabbed the corner of his clothes and dragged him to his house, to sue his parents and ask them to do justice.
It seems that his family opened a small shop. When he arrived at his house, his parents were more "reasonable" at first. They said that they asked their children, but they didn't take it. If you go to the city, you can compensate for . But later, for some unknown reason, they changed their attitude and said that my parents should come, or I could call the police, it had nothing to do with their son anyway.
Well, didn't know why at the time? It should be fear, fear of parents worrying, fear of seeing parents begging others because of money issues.
So, I didn't find my parents, and I didn't choose to call the police. I was helpless and scared, and staggered out of B's store.
went to school , I told the teacher about the attitude of B and his parents.
At that time, I had high expectations for my teachers, I wanted to get their support, I wanted to get strength from them, and I wanted to beg the teacher to negotiate with B and their family. However, the result is disappointing, the teacher is still comforting, I think it is a painless comfort, and I also shy away from the request to go to B's house.
And, consolation like this is the last time.
Since that day, except for one teacher who said that he could help me apply for compensation from the scholarship fund, but there is no following, no teacher should have mentioned that matter, let alone comfort me.
That night was the worst night of my life.
That night was the hardest night of my life. That was the first time in my life insomnia , I lay in bed, crying silently all night - I couldn't cry aloud, although I wanted to cry aloud - I lay on the bed next to me and didn't know what to do, The brother who is sleeping soundly.
I thought about it a lot, what to do with the tuition fees, how to hide from my parents, how to retaliate against that classmate in , how to make money when I work, how to make enough money, and not let my parents, myself, and myself get married Wives and children will not be embarrassed by money problems. Crazy thinking, thinking a lot.
The next day, I ran out of school between classes and used the public phone booth on the street to call my cousin who was studying at Zhejiang University . I borrowed 200 yuan or 300 yuan, it should be 200 yuan. Later, I successively borrowed 20 from this class, 40 from the other, and 50 from the classmates, and collected enough tuition fees.
I would like to thank my cousin, my classmates, and the money. For me at that time, it was like a bonfire in the cold winter, which gave me warmth and strength to spend the long night.
I went to the store of B's to check in to ask for money, and even planned to retaliate against them, setting the store on fire, and was finally woken up by a car's high beam
After that, for three or four consecutive weeks, after school in the morning and afternoon, I went to B's store, stubbornly like punching in every day. When I got to the store, I looked at them, watched them eat, watch them drink tea, watch them watch TV, look into their eyes, and stubbornly put forward my request: "Your son lost my tuition, I must Give it back to me."
During that time, I was undoubtedly lonely, very lonely and very tormented. In class during the day, I secretly complained about the teacher's indifference and inaction; after school, I took time to go to B's store to check in and bear his parents. scorned and insulted; when he went back to his home, he forced a smile in front of his parents, pretending that nothing happened. Very tormented, very lonely, and felt that the whole world was not one with me.
After three or four weeks, maybe five or six weeks later, it seems because B's parents threatened me to call the police or something, or I saw that my humble prayer was hopeless, and I gave up the shameless punch card— - I recognized it myself.
However, the resentment towards the teacher has not disappeared from the bottom of my heart. I want to take revenge on the teacher - retaliate with the self-abandonment of their students, retaliate with sleeping in class and making trouble, and retaliate with bad exams. As a result, my grades quickly declined. The ranking of the weekly test and monthly test has gradually dropped from the top ten in the grade to the bottom dozens. The reason why
is not normal to me, I think, the teachers should know, but none of the teachers asked me to talk to me.
Although a teacher said to help me apply for a bursary, he also failed to empathize with me and have an in-depth chat with me. Now that I think about it, if there is such a teacher who can talk to me, it should be of great help to me, and it will not let such a thing affect me so much.
The vicious circle, the decline in grades, made me very anxious , and I attributed this to B and his family.
Countless times, after my evening self-study and get out of class, I would make a detour to B's store, trying to put into practice the retaliatory measures such as splashing paint, smashing glass, setting fire to doors, etc. that I had deduced countless times in my heart. One night in the month, the windows of the store were not closed tightly. I lit the torch and , and I almost threw it in, almost.
Fortunately, a car drove by at that time, and the headlights of the car shone into my eyes and into my heart, driving away that dark thought and saving me.
At that moment, I was frightened by myself.
Is this me?
I threw the torch in this way, killing people and setting fire to the detention center, what should my parents do?
If it goes on like this, can I get into university?
If I can't go to university, how can I make money? How much money can I make by working hard?
is catching up. In the last two months, I tried my best to go to to review
. There is not much time for the college entrance examination, and the countdown is only more than 60 days. Since that night, I can say that I worked hard: I went to the toilet with a book, when I had a meal, and when I walked with a book, I reviewed it every night until two or three o'clock, woke up after two hours of sleep and read the book. Doing questions, and sometimes get up all night to review if I can't sleep.
At that time, in order to prevent my parents from seeing that I was abnormal, I covered the lamp with my clothes when I was reviewing, and the collars of two or three T-shirts were browned by the lamps.
's hard work pays off. Although the glasses are good, the results have finally come back step by step.
A few days before the college entrance examination, I spent it in extreme anxiety. I could escape from this torment and relax after finishing the exam, and I also regretted the confusion of the previous few months, worrying that I would review the knowledge points during that period. Yes, I didn't review it, but I passed the exam. The strong psychological reaction of
was passed on to my physiology. The day before the college entrance examination, I sent low fever , it seemed to be 37.1 degrees, no cold nor hot , but the temperature was a little high, and I always wanted to go to the toilet to urinate. I ate some bezoar detoxification tablets , and tossed and turned at night until three or four o'clock before falling asleep.The first subject on the second day of
is the Chinese test, which is my strong point. Although my brain is a little dizzy, from multiple-choice questions to fill-in-the-blank questions, from reading comprehension to propositional composition, I feel very good about answering the questions. Finished writing. At the last full stop, I breathed a sigh of relief, leaned back in the chair, and stretched.
At this time, something unexpected happened.
just felt a little uncomfortable in the nostrils, and the nosebleed came out, dripped, and covered the white shirt. I didn't care, immediately checked to see if the test paper was contaminated, but fortunately it wasn't. Even the invigilators who came over were glad that they didn't splatter on the test paper, otherwise it would be bad if they were misunderstood and left a mark on the paper.
The harder you work, the luckier you are. In other words, those who have gone through wind and rain will not have bad luck. Except for the nosebleed incident on the first morning, the other two and a half days of exams went well. Some questions are still before the exam. Review under pressure.
The college entrance examination in Shaanxi Province announced the standard score, which is calculated by a complex formula. The first place in the province is 900 points, and the other scores are calculated as percentages. My score is 688 points, which is more than 97% of the students in the province, and 90 points beyond the first line. The county ranks in the top 10, and the 8 counties in the city are ranked 83rd.
Filling in the volunteers, on the one hand, considering the family's economic situation, on the other hand, considering the factor of repaying the borrowed money, I gave up universities such as Beijing Institute of Technology and Xi'an Jiaotong, and chose a public-funded school approved in advance. This experience of
has a great influence on me. This experience of
has a great influence on me.
is not only a voluntary report, I gave up my favorite university and favorite major in my plan, and embarked on a completely different life path; more about the impact on character development and behavior and psychology, that matter Like a dirty hatchet, it made a scar on my heart, leaving grievances and other dirty things in the scar; and that scar has gradually become a gap, blocking many from the outside to the inside. energy link.
For example, the establishment of interpersonal relationships, I will unconsciously stay away from too close relationships, because I am afraid that bad things will happen after giving others trust;
For example, I tend to be too harsh on myself, no matter what When something happens, I find the reason from myself as soon as possible, so resents myself, and even punishes myself like I did to retaliate against my teacher in the past; It’s not that I feel that the profession of a teacher is not good or that I still resent the teacher, it’s just exclusion; Suicide by oneself, every once in a while, there is a psychological process of extreme emptiness when "auntie" comes over for a few days and so on.
Although with the growth of age, as I read books on psychology, as I have a scientific understanding of my own psychological situation, this scar is gradually becoming lighter and lighter, and its negative effects are also slowly. decrease.
I will force myself to observe and observe more in the intimacy , walk a few hundred meters more, and give others some trust;
will deliberately less or not hurt myself, even if I want to hurt, I will use ruthless exercise to make myself very Tired way to hurt;
will correct his insecurities from his behavior - such as sitting without putting his hands between his legs, not shrinking himself into a ball; When it's time to eat more sweets, make yourself a little happier, etc.
However, the scar is still there, and the impact is still there.
In the annual college entrance examination season, every time the news is overwhelming to publicize the college entrance examination, I will suddenly think of that experience, no resentment or suffering, but there is always a touch of sadness and a touch of bitterness.
In addition, these years, I hardly ever took the initiative to talk about it with my wife, classmates, friends, or parents, even when I was crying after drinking and when I was so fragile, it should be Consider it an escape.
Therefore, the scar is still there, and the impact is still there.
After a lapse of 20 years, today, on the first day of the college entrance examination in 2021, in the southern city Guangzhou city where the epidemic has rebounded but has always remained calm, I am determined to write down this experience.
Not only memories and records, but more, I want to use such a method, a dialogue with myself, and at the same time, it can be regarded as a forgiveness of the years!
As for the tuition fee, whether B or A took it, or someone else, the matter has passed, and it doesn't matter, and I will never think about it again.
is still the same sentence, I have no intention to magnify the maliciousness of others, but I am always grateful for the goodwill that surrounds me.Those who have helped others with good intentions will receive the greatest blessing. And those who have done wrong, I believe, in their life, will always pay the price they should pay!
This is life, if you give something you will get something, if you borrow something, you will repay it.
I am Uncle Hai, a sultry uncle who is not greasy and warm!
pay attention to Uncle Hai, let's observe workplace and record life together.
@Uncle Hai Workplace Observation @ToutiaoWorkplace Alliance #My college entrance examination memory#
