Interpersonal relationships are necessary for life.
We cannot exist without society. As long as we live in society, we cannot do without interpersonal relationships.
There are some people who are able to enjoy themselves in interpersonal relationships.
And some people have been trapped in interpersonal relationships and troubled by interpersonal relationships.
Unfortunately, I am in the second category.
I am not good at interpersonal relations, and even at a certain period, I am afraid of interpersonal relations.
is always worried about not doing well in interpersonal relationships, and often doing well in interpersonal relationships.
Therefore, often scolded by parents and family elders. Z1z
has summed up the reasons for not being good at interpersonal relations for so many years. It is nothing more than the following points:
1.
2, can't speak.
3, disdain to participate in some interpersonal relationships.
Let me talk about the first point first, why is the skin not thick enough?
is mainly because of timidity, sensitivity and face. The reason
is timid is because there were few people in contact with it when he was young.
When I was young, I was used to playing alone, with a quiet personality and not so naughty. After
arrives in junior high school, he will read novels or other books by himself whenever he has time.
But parents and elders are also happy to see it. They think it's a good thing to like reading, and even indulge.
gradually became accustomed to the world of one person, and gradually became out of character with the people around him and couldn't play together.
When you get used to being quiet for a long time, when you get used to a person's self-contained pleasure for a long time, you become out of gregarious personality.
has been out of gregariousness for a long time, naturally, and rarely talks with people around. What
is interested in is not on the same channel, nor is it on the same channel anymore.
But this world is a world of personal love and sophistication.
When I was young, if I didn't know how to deal with each other, my family didn't care about it, but after a certain age, if I didn't understand the world, my family would be anxious.
If you are in a hurry at home, you will no longer talk to you about the reasons, and will not give you time to change slowly.
As long as you are not doing well, you will probably get scolded first.
For example, one day a relative came to the house, and you forgot to say hello, or the voice was too small for others to hear, so you evoked a scolding. Adults at
often scolded: "I don’t know how to say hello when I’m so loud." "Can’t the voice be louder? Who can eat your voice?" The more often
is scolded, he was not so courageous, but I was scolded too much, but I was always afraid of making mistakes, but my courage became smaller and smaller. The less courage you are, the more you will be scolded, so you will fall into a vicious circle, and gradually you will have fear of interpersonal relationships.
is always worried that one day the guests will come, and he will be scolded by his family for failing to greet him.
When I was young, my personality was easy to shape. If I can correct it in time and bring more family members to see the world, my subsequent problems may not arise. When
grows up to a certain age, the character is shaped almost, and then it is more difficult to be transformed to adapt to this society.
Unfortunately, this happens to be the case for me.
Later, I also learned the seriousness of the matter, especially after I was out of society, I also discovered that if there is no strong interpersonal relationship, it is easy to run into nails. After
entered a Fortune 500 company, the interpersonal relationship in the office can be described as undercurrent.
and I have suffered a lot because of this.
once thought that he had a good relationship with a colleague, so he occasionally complained to the company when chatting with him in private. Unfortunately for
, these grievances were silently passed to the leader, and it was at the critical moment of promotion. The final result was self-evident.
In large companies, sometimes interpersonal relationship is more important than ability.
For example, there is a colleague who feels like a fool, but he knows how to make a good relationship, can talk, and he likes to flatter his boss.
has some flattering words that a discerning person will recognize as soon as he hears it. Of course, the leader is not a fool, but it is also very useful. Therefore, in general, he will give priority to any good things.
Who doesn't like to listen to good things?
is just for the more real people, a little impracticalThe good words of the world are really unspeakable anyway, naturally, it is difficult to attract the attention of others.
Many times, our interpersonal relationship cannot be done well, and the skin is not thick enough.
In fact, one's guts can also be obtained by training, and if you want to thicken your skin, you can also get it. Before
, I didn't dare to speak in front of many people. When I got to the podium, my mind was completely blank.
Later, in order to overcome this situation, I specialized in interviews for sales and other jobs.
even went to interviews for a period of time just to practice courage. At the beginning, I was scared of the interviewer. After a long time, I didn't feel anything. Even facing the interviewer, I started to learn to talk freely.
In sales companies, there will be special training, and they must learn to speak to multiple people. After a period of forcibly changing
, under certain circumstances, I think I have changed a lot, at least not as timid as before.
Of course, in the early stage, it will feel uncomfortable.
Why? Because at a certain age, the character has been shaped almost, it seems very difficult to continue to change, like overthrowing the previous self.
denies the previous self and forcibly transforms it, which is definitely a torment process.
In addition, there is another kind of person who can't make good interpersonal relationships, but still mixes well, and this kind of person doesn't bother to make good interpersonal relationships.
because this kind of person is strong enough and very capable.
is like some people engaged in scientific research. They are usually not good at communication, but it does not affect their development, because their abilities are powerful enough.
is just that, in real life, most people's life status is still difficult to leave good interpersonal relationships, otherwise it is difficult to have better development.
