There are always friends around us who will habitually complain about everything around us, such as work environment, interpersonal relationships, family atmosphere, or strangers passing by.

We always have some friends around us who will habitually complain about everything around us, such as work environment, interpersonal relationships, family atmosphere, or strangers passing by.

We will inevitably meet all kinds of people in our lives and things that do not meet our expectations. Therefore, they are always complaining, and they themselves are also wondering why there are always so many annoying people surrounding them and making themselves angry.

At this time, I share a short story with you:

A Zen master met a person who didn’t like him during his journey. For several days, the man used all kinds of methods to slander him.

Finally, the Zen master turned around and asked the person, "If someone gives you a gift, but you refuse to accept it, then who does this gift belong to?"

The person replied, "It belongs to the person who gave the gift."

Zen master smiled and said, "That's right. If I don't accept your abuse, then you are scolding yourself."

This is just like our life. We can regard everything that appears in life as a gift in the story. Only when we accept it, it is ours, and if we reject it, it will not disturb ourselves.

Some friends may think that things in life are happening and we have no way to refuse.

Yes, we have no way to refuse things in , but what we can refuse is the attitude towards things.

In fact, what troubles us is not the thing itself, but our attitude when facing it.

For example, when we chat with friends, when friends complain about something, we may find it strange, thinking that such a small thing is so angry, and this is the different attitude of our friends in facing the same thing, so we are not angry, but our friends are angry.

So, if we think from another perspective, do we also get angry in life because it seems to be a "small thing" to others?

At this time, we need to be aware of what our attitude towards this matter is like?

For example: When we are walking on the road and accidentally bump into someone else, the other party curses us. Some people may forget about this matter after a while, and some people will have insomnia because of this matter, wondering why they didn’t say more imposing words to calm the other party, and then they are very upset about their performance at that time. However, the impact of this matter on themselves gradually decreases the next day, and some people will be trapped in this matter for a week or even a month.

This is because he has implicated his past experience through this incident, allowing himself to return to the embarrassing situation at that time, thus causing negative emotions to be trapped in it and unable to get out.

So we see that things are the same, but the degree of emotions that arouse people is different.

and deeply trapped in depression . Friends with anxiety disorders are prone to self-blame and guilt when facing things. The degree of these negative emotions will make them lose the power to solve problems, and thus fall into a habitual state of helplessness. Even if you take medicine on time, the situation seems to have not improved.

So, we know that to alleviate the pain caused by depression and anxiety, we need to adjust our cognition, that is, our attitude towards things, withdraw from the wrong people in the past, and restore a peaceful life.

(recommended for depressed and anxious friends to check out "Fighting Depression" and "Emotional Self-help")

cognitive adjustment is to solve the problem of our response when negative emotions appear. When we can live in peace with negative emotions, we will find that our attitude towards the world will naturally change.

We can keep ourselves in a "normal mind" through the "emotional balance method".

First step, see emotions.

First of all, when we notice that negative emotions appear, we need to see it. When negative emotions appear, tell it, "I see you come.""

Step 2, allowing negative emotions to exist.

Negative emotions appear to help us understand our disagreement with ourselves. We do not need to exclude them. Good emotions and bad emotions are essentially consistent with bad emotions. However, many of us will characterize negative emotions in our hearts and think that they are bad emotions.

Step 3, accept emotions.

When we accept negative emotions, we will find that the impact of negative emotions on us has been reduced. If we fight against it, it will become bigger and bigger, and eventually it will make us fall into it and cannot be withdrawn. Therefore, we need to accept it and live in peace with it. We will find that the change has begun.

Step 4, release emotions.

The formation of depression and anxiety is caused by long-term negative emotions, so we need to release these emotions. We can choose a way that suits us, such as doing exercise, chatting with friends, taking deep breaths, or yelling in places with few people. These are good ways to release emotions. The problems that occur in

are not a problem, but how to face them is the problem. Although we are in a state of depression and anxiety, as long as we have the right attitude to face it, we are already on the road to regaining our past vitality.

Finally, we encouraged a passage from " Diamond Sutra ": "All conditioned laws are like dreams, bubbles, dew and lightning, and we should be viewed in this way."