What do we learn from the Japanese "Handbook of Family Education"

1. What is a family?

1. The child's greatest wish is that the family can live happily.

When asked about the child's higher expectations for the family, the child's answer is that everyone in the family can be happy To live. 'Children are asking for such a thing for granted, and parents should face this reality seriously.

As long as you provide children with the necessary things, the era when children can grow up naturally has passed. Now, a peaceful and happy family requires the conscious effort of the whole family. For the sake of your children, for your own sake, please get to know the family again.

2. People who don’t cherish themselves or their children will not cherish their children. It is really important to raise children, but the nerves are tense all day long, and the irritability of parents will be transmitted to the children. Because it is hard to raise children, it is important to have your own time and maintain mental health. Parents should cooperate with each other and share responsibility. Effective use of your child’s time in kindergarten can give your body and mind a “rest”.

Also, don't worry about it alone. Take up the courage to talk to experts at the family education consultation center, health center, child consultation center, etc.

At home, parents full of happy smiles will make their children feel happy.

3. "Raising children is the mother’s business." Fathers who have this kind of thinking should be careful.

Generally believed that in modern families, fathers’ authority becomes weaker and weaker, and social education for children to distinguish good from evil and distinguish between good and bad Also getting sloppy. Normally, the parenting policy of father and mother is basically the same, but father and mother educating children from different angles can correct the too close mother-child relationship. Fathers naturally participate in raising children and give full play to their influence. It is necessary for parents to be active with each other. Mothers should be careful not to belittle or despise their father in front of their children. The father should also be careful not to scold the mother loudly in front of the child.

4. It is not necessary to "know as soon as you say it", but you don't know if you don't say it. In modern society, if you don't say anything, it is difficult to understand each other. Continuously increasing the dialogue between husband and wife and between parents and children is the basis for building a happy family. Whether it is between husband and wife or between parents and children, it is best to be able to talk about anything. The whole family eats together, exchanges their current situation, morning greetings, asks the children to help with housework, plays with the children, participates in voluntary activities in the community, etc. These are all important to increase communication.

5. It’s really important for the whole family to eat together.

Eating life not only has a profound impact on children’s physical health, but also on children’s psychological development. The joy of eating together with the whole family, the meals that parents bother to make, etc. naturally convey the love of parents to the children. The sense of satisfaction and trust obtained from this can make children grow up cheerful and strong.

Pay attention to the nutritional balance of the diet, try to set a good date for eating together, and develop the habit of eating together with the whole family.

6. Parents’ positive attitude towards life, children will definitely understand that

because parents have to work while raising their children, it is easy for parents to spend less time in contact with their children. However, the image of parents who love their children and work hard for a better future will definitely be deeply etched in their hearts.

In addition, all kinds of troubles are inevitable. Don't bear it alone. You should ask relatives and friends for help, or actively use the community consultation window and childcare organization.

Whenever, raise children with confidence and show a positive attitude in life.

2. Tutoring

1. For some reason, the shortcomings of children are always similar to those of their parents.

People who "just do what you want, don't care about the others" and don't keep your morals are annoying and untrustworthy. If the public does not correct it when your child does this, the child will mistakenly believe that he is doing the right thing, so he may gradually become an unpleasant person.

should abandon the idea of ​​"As long as your child is good, I don't care about the others". When a child does something wrong, he must be reprimanded and disciplined with the love of his parents.

At the same time, the adults themselves should also pay attention to avoiding deeds as much as possible, and be parents who can keep their children dependent and respectful.

2. Who is the “rules” set for

At home, children sometimes abide by the rules and sometimes “foul”"From this, I gradually learn to deal with the relationship between people and understand the importance of social rules. The

house rules not only include daily greetings, threshold time, turn-off time, etc., but also include social norms such as not causing trouble to others and not lying. .Z2z

In order to let children understand the rules and always abide by the rules, parents must carefully discuss and set clear house rules. Parents and children abide by the house rules together. In addition, it is also very important to listen to the children’s opinions and set the rules together with the children.

3, If you want to make your child miserable, then buy everything for him.

If parents don’t think about it and buy everything for the child, it’s easy for the child to lose the spirit of working hard, patience, and thinking more in order to get what he wants. Become wanting everything and can’t control yourself.

No matter how troublesome the child is, don’t buy unnecessary things. Don’t give too much pocket money. Let the child arrange and adjust how to spend it in the fixed pocket money.

If you really think about your children, instead of spending a lot of money on your children, you should spend your efforts on your children and devote your parents' love.

4. If you let your children help with housework, they will become very capable

children are self-centered The tendency to postpone self-reliance, etc., is mainly due to the lack of self-responsibility. Japanese parents love their children too much, and many people have not received the tutoring of “doing your own business”.

sets rules at home to allow children to share housework, yes It is important to cultivate children’s sense of responsibility, self-reliance, and feel that they are useful people.

allows children to start with small things such as "organizing used things" and develop the habit of doing housework with their parents.

5, If the child’s best friend is the TV, it’s too lonely.

If the child stays in the house all day to watch TV, watch videos, and play video games, it will easily lead to insufficient experience in contact with others and nature, and can’t be very close to others. Good communication, lack of sympathy, weak sense of reality between life and death, inability to distinguish between reality and imaginary world, and leave a shadow on the healthy growth of children's body and mind.

creates opportunities for children to play with other children and experience nature, and let It actively participates. Set rules not to watch TV, video, not to play video games, and make children develop the habit of observing these rules.

6. While giving children a separate room, also set good rules for him.

If a child Staying in their own room all day, parents can’t figure out what their children are doing, and the dialogue between parents and children will be reduced. Moreover, some children’s rooms may even become crime scenes.

wants to make the children’s room more friendly to the children Growth plays a role, and it is necessary to set house rules. For example: After the child returns home, he should show up in the living room before entering his room; the child’s room is not locked; before the child brings a friend into his room, introduce his friend To parents; parents can enter the child's room when they feel necessary to grasp the actual situation of the child, etc. 3z

7. The child does not correctly send out the "danger" signal

Parents are emotionally anxious, not enough caressing and loving to the child, excessive pampering and excessive intervention to the child, etc., will affect the child's mental health, and often on the child Show it. For example, the child has symptoms such as stomach ache, nausea, diarrhea, loss of appetite, dizziness, fever, and behaviors such as overeating, insomnia, finger sucking, nail biting, etc.

When you notice these symptoms and behaviors, don't just worry about whether your child is sick, but also think about whether these symptoms and behaviors are caused by psychological reasons.

Don't just label your children "neurotic", "willful", "learning" and the like. It is important to observe the child carefully, listen carefully to the child, and make an effort to understand the child's posture. At the same time, talk to a doctor who is familiar with your child.

8. What kind of parents the child is willing to talk to?

people are a kind of creature that likes to be loved and understood by others. If the dissatisfaction caused by not getting the understanding of others accumulates too much, sometimes it will burst out suddenly. When the child suddenly loses his temper, even the child and the parents can't figure out what's going on.

Actually, there are reasons why children get angry and distressed. If parents usually listen to their children carefully, consider problems from the same perspective as their children, and are very concerned about their children's affairs, the children can see that they are loved by their parents.

Children can deal with problems calmly only when they feel loved. In this way, unnecessary conflicts can be avoided, and children can accept others, face problems squarely, and thrive.

3. Compassion

1. Happiness includes not only happiness from others, but also happiness for others.

65% of primary and middle school students say they “do not” or “not too” give up their seats on buses or trams . In order to cultivate sympathy for the weak and have the courage to help and love the weak, what can parents do? Parents can cultivate their children's compassion through the practice of daily life from when their children are very young. Parents should take the lead in setting an example to their children, and gradually cultivate the behavioral habits of their children giving up seats to pregnant women and the elderly, and being able to take the initiative to ask questions when the disabled encounter difficulties.

2, do not want children to be discriminatory against others

When they find that their children have bullied, hurt, or insulted others, parents have the responsibility to teach their children: for the upright people, this is a shameful behavior!

At this time, instead of telling the children the truth, it is better to tell the children how their parents love their children and hope that their children will be outstanding people; talk about how surprised they are when they see their children bullying the weak; see their children treat others How angry it is to be happy when hurt; etc. Try to convey your true thoughts to your children.

Also, it is necessary to show children that parents themselves do not hold prejudices, do not bully others, and do not allow their children to bully others. This is very important for children's education.

3. People are different. There is only one life.

Seeing the death of close people is becoming less and less. If you become accustomed to repeated murders and fictitious deaths in TV shows and video games, it will be difficult to experience life. It is precious, only one life.

allows children to play in nature, carefully cultivate flowers, plants, insects, and fish, consciously provide children with various creatures and opportunities to see the death of creatures, so that children can truly feel the dignity and preciousness of life.

and let the children imagine the feelings of the family members who have lost their loved ones and the people with trauma, so that the children understand how deep the grief is.

4. The most exciting book is the book that parents read to their children.

When children feel the warmth of their parents' love, they should also be exposed to excellent books. When reading with parents and resonating, it is a precious moment to enrich children's feelings and hearts.

Just like people must have time to eat, parents should also bother to set up "reading time", even if there is only a little time, it doesn't matter, insist on telling stories to their children every day!

However, if the child is told a difficult story at once when the child is still very young, it will make the child mentally stressed and anxious, and may make the child feel disgusted with books. So, let's go slowly from the shallower to the deeper!

4. Personality and ideals

1. Cultivate the child to be a person who can think and act on his own

Parents remove all obstacles on the road the child has to cross-'too protective', and the child must be instructed at every step One thing-the result of'too much interference' is that the child will never walk alone. Parents do so also deprive children of the opportunity to accept challenges, learn from failures and gain various experiences.

Parents are easy to compare their children with other people's children, impose their own hopes on their children, make their children follow their own pace, and so on. However, no child is exactly the same as any other child. Parents should pay attention to their children's personality and love children who are'that's it'!

2. Don't always blame the shortcomings, keep increasing the advantages

For children, it is important to have self-confidence and self-love. This spirit is like the root of a plant, the deeper and wider the piercing, the greater the fruit. Parents should not just look at the superficial situation, but have confidence in the growth and development of their children. Pour rich nutrition and moisture into your child's heart!

So, what is the thing that becomes nutrition and moisture? It is to find out the children's strengths and praise them. Criticize when it's time to criticize, and praise it when it's time to praise. Set a "one to three" standard of criticizing once and praise three times in your mind. The praised children are happy, self-confidence and self-esteem will also develop.

3, with ideal people will become strong

has such a saying that children today have no enthusiasm, have no illusions and hopes for the future, give up before challenging difficult goals, and so on. However, children have their own dreams and hopes, no matter how trivial they are. How ridiculous, as a parent, you should listen to your child's dreams and hopes.

Also, parents should seize the opportunity to tell their children about their own experiences and the life experiences of those who have finally achieved their ideals after a long and hard struggle. The goal of educating children in life is to sweat profusely and repeat failures. In the process. Parents should pay close attention to the growth of their children. Parents are the "big rear" of their children.

4. No child is exactly the same as any other child.

How many words does the child remember and how many things have he learned? Some parents only focus on comparing their children with other children's children and the average kick, and evaluate their children based on their expectations. This is not good for the child's personality and the child's growth and development. Under such parental education, children can easily lose self-confidence.

After comparing your child with other children and the average, don’t fidget. Believe in your child’s personality and growth at all times. Train your children slowly and practically!

5. "Pull out seedlings and encourage growth" or

parents who provide early intellectual education to their children are increasing. However, let children learn this and that from a very young age. By the time they enter elementary and middle schools, many children are already exhausted. In the family atmosphere that always compares one's own children with other children's, and wants to produce early results and is restless, the children's psychological development is easily distorted. Moreover, letting children learn too early also reduces the opportunities for games and various experiences that are important to the development of children, which is not conducive to the development of children.

should treat children in a correct way and fully understand the importance of cultivating children in a down-to-earth manner with sufficient time according to their personality.

6, no one is perfect

perfectionist parents always hope that their children can be perfect. Once the child has a small failure or mistake, the parents immediately become nervous, nervous, and anxious. In the long term, it may lead to "child-raising anxiety" and child abuse.

It is only natural for children not to do exactly what their parents expected. The general direction is right. It’s important not to be too small. Raising children naturally makes them grow stronger.

5. Games

1, games are children’s work

games are very important to children’s psychological development, especially in early childhood, children use perceptions through games to move, imagine, and make things. If the opportunities for children to play together are reduced, it will become prominent that children will shift from running outdoor games to playing alone at home.

In recent years, there have been some children who like to watch TV but not play with toys, like to stick to their mother but not play with other children, and do not know how to play outdoors.

should realize how important games are to children, let them play freely and happily!

2. It is often said that there are more children who are really tired.

Now children have been driven by time since they were very young, and the time for games has been reduced. Among the children who cannot play leisurely, are there any Few people feel tired at every turn, and feel annoying and unhappy even if there is nothing.

Only when children are given full free time, can children feel the joy of games in their hearts, create and develop games, so that their personality and creativity can be developed. Parents should muster the courage to give their children plenty of time and freedom.

3. What life needs is what we learn from nature.

watching TV, playing game consoles and other indoor games are increasing, while games played in nature are decreasing. Encourage children to play in the wild, and lead them to nature, so that they can feel the fun of contact with animals and plants and nature. The whole family can participate in activities that are close to nature organized by the community, and sometimes the children can leave their parents alone to participate in such activities.

Playing in nature, through experiencing surprise and moving, not only can cultivate children's rich emotions, but also enable children to learn to love and protect nature, and to understand the importance of patience.

4. Playing with other older children and young children is far more important than we imagined.

In groups of different age levels, children can learn a lot about interpersonal relationships. For young children, through group life, they can understand the importance of discipline and self-control; for older children, through group life, they can cultivate their sense of responsibility such as caring for others and taking the lead in the group.

has community voluntary activities around you. Sports activities, cultural activities, youth group activities, etc. Groups with children of different ages can provide children with valuable opportunities to learn from each other. Parents should re-recognize the importance of these activities and encourage their children to actively participate.

5. The annual routine activities in the family are also of great significance.

Spring Festival, Girls’ Day, Dragon Boat Festival, Chinese Valentine’s Day, birthday, Christmas, year-end cleaning, etc. These routine activities in the family, children can not only interact with the elderly It is also a good opportunity for them to care about the community and get close to traditional culture by communicating and liaising with people of different ages and deepening family relationships.

6. Your attitude towards life is the best education for your children.

According to a survey, the proportion of young people in Japan who are dissatisfied with society and take positive actions is extremely low from an international level.

So far, society requires hard-working and obedient citizens. However, from now on, society requires courageous members of society to think for themselves, find ways to solve problems, and act on their own. In order to cultivate people who not only consider the interests of their own unit, but also focus on the community and society as a whole, and actively participate in various activities, it is important that parents themselves understand the importance of independent thinking, self-action, deliberate innovation, and courage. Sex, and actively work hard and challenge.