In the past few days, Luo Zhenyu’s 2023 “Friends of Time” New Year’s Eve speech has been flooding Moments.
22 A good story, I believe it can inspire many people, and I also gained 2 insights on parenting from it, which I would like to share with you.
01 Teaching by example is better than preaching
In the story "Gandhi and Sugar", a mother is distressed that her child often eats sugar. Although the doctor warned about the dangers of eating sugar, the child still couldn't quit.
The mother was very anxious, thinking that her child admired the Indian Mahatma Gandhi very much, so she took him on a three-day journey to see Gandhi.
Unexpectedly, after listening to his mother's request, Gandhi said: "You can come back next month."
Mother was very puzzled, but Gandhi insisted, and she had to go back with confusion.
A month later, they met Gandhi again.
Gandhi said to the little boy: "Kid, don't eat too much sugar."
The boy nodded after listening to the hero's words.
The mother was very puzzled and asked: "Why did you refuse to say such a simple sentence last month?"
Gandhi replied: "Because I also had the habit of eating too much sugar at that time."
When Gandhi himself was still eating sweets, he would not stand high and ask his children to give up bad habits just because he was a hero.
He asked the mother and son to come back in a month because he wanted to give up sugar for a month first. Only if he did it first could he be qualified to ask others to do the same.
This is the role of teaching by example.
Similarly, in the process of raising children, we should also learn from Gandhi, do it ourselves first, and then ask our children to do it.
I once saw a short video:
The father was scrolling through his mobile phone while urging his child to put down his tablet and do his homework. When the child didn't listen, he started to lose his temper and picked up a small whip to teach the child a lesson.
The child hid and complained: "Why can you adults play, but I have to study?"
Yes, the child is right, why can you play but I can't?
Parents are their children's first teachers. Children are deeply influenced by their parents. What their parents do, they will follow.
If you want your children to learn, put down your phones and lead by example.
As Tolstoy said:
"All education, or nine hundred and ninety-nine percent of education, comes down to role models, and comes down to the parents' own correctness and perfection."
If you want to educate excellent children, you must first be an excellent yourself. Only by teaching by example instead of preaching can education really work.
02 Trust maintains relationships
The story of the stethoscope is about a doctor at Union Medical College Hospital. In order to make the patient feel better, he would warm the stethoscope with his hands and then put it on the patient's chest.
Once, a young doctor was very puzzled and ran to his instructor and asked: "Why do you need to warm the stethoscope when it is not cold in the summer?"
The teacher replied: "Warming the stethoscope with your hands is not only to prevent the patient from getting iced, but more importantly The best thing is to let the patient feel the doctor's care. "
Just imagine, it is very uncomfortable for a patient to see a doctor, but when he sees such a small gesture from the doctor, he will feel warm in his heart, and at the same time, his trust in the doctor will also deepen.
When the doctor prescribes medical advice, he will be more cooperative with the doctor's treatment because of this level of trust.
In other words, a sense of trust can promote the establishment of good relationships.
In the process of raising children, trust is equally important.
once read a story on Zhihu. When children reach adolescence, they have their own privacy. The diary is no longer placed on the desk as usual, but locked in a drawer.
The mother believed that her daughter was born by herself and was qualified to read her daughter's diary. She wanted to pick the lock and open the diary.
The father stopped the mother's behavior and told her that if she picked the lock of the diary, her daughter's heart would be locked and she would no longer trust them.
When trust is broken, the parent-child relationship can easily become alienated. It is no longer easy to repair.
After hearing this, her mother thought that her father's words made sense, so she stopped being persistent and gave her daughter an exquisite locked notebook.
When the daughter received the gift, she felt her mother's thoughtful actions and trusted her more. She would tell her every little thing in her arms.
Afterwards, the mother lamented that she was lucky that she had not broken the lock in the first place. Her daughter's trust in her made the parent-child relationship better and better, and they passed through adolescence smoothly.
The famous educator Suhomlinsky once said:
"Enthusiasm and trust in people, figuratively speaking, are the air on which caressing and tender wings fly."
Parents' trust is the warmest affirmation for their children.
03 Conclusion
Rousseau once said:
"A person's education begins when he is born. He has already been educated before he can speak or listen to others. The words and deeds of parents are of great significance in the education of children."
deeply agrees.
In the process of raising children, teaching by example is the best education, and trust is the strongest help.
I hope that we can all use our lives to influence lives, be the most trustworthy people for children, and help children become better and better!
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