But the result was counterproductive. The parents and elders were angry and anxious, and the children also lost confidence in themselves under the slogans of suppression, which even caused the children to rebelliously.

Many parents have encountered this situation and will immediately suppress and stop the child when they find problems. But the result was counterproductive. The parents and elders were angry and anxious, and the children also lost confidence in themselves under the slogans of suppression, which even caused the children to rebelliously.

For example, the child is holding a glass of water, and parents are afraid that their children will not be able to hold the cup and sprinkle the water all over the floor, so they shouted loudly: "Don't sprinkle the water!" But the more they say this, the more nervous the child becomes. When they get nervous, the water sprinkles the floor again. Some parents even say, "Don't you tell you not to sprinkle the water!"

Why can't you just suppress the child? The following four points are summarized, and the last point is the most important!

1. Strike children's self-confidence and interest

Adults also grow up from their children. They were also confused at the beginning and grew up through repeated struggles. If you have to accept a blow from the sky before you take the first step in your life, you will suffer setbacks, let alone a child.

Errors and failures are always inevitable. Do not let your suppression make your child lose the confidence to continue.

You should know that is willing to try and error, which is the beginning of success. Talking about children’s shortcomings every day will also make children subconsciously feel that the “child that can’t do anything well” is themselves. Over time, I became timid, dared not try anything, did not believe in my choices, and became a child with inferiority.

2. Influence children's self-thinking ability and cannot be independent

When problems arise, parents will criticize them as soon as possible, leaving no time for their children to think and reflect on themselves. Over time, the child becomes obedient and loses the ability to think about himself. He does not know how to solve problems he encounters in the future.

Parents turn their children into a child with no opinions and courage in a sentence of criticism.

3. Causing children's rebellious psychology

Under the suppression, children may also go to another extreme - becoming rebellious. Children in the rebellious period, when they are not sure where they are wrong and are blindly denied, they will also maintain their independent thinking by insisting on themselves. Without knowing the reasons for the mistake, this rebellious psychology may go to extremes and lead to worse consequences.

4. The most important point is not to let the child understand the correct way

! Some parents only want to speak quickly, regardless of whether they list a bunch of things, but they insist on not saying why it is wrong and how to do it. But for children, parents only play an unknown blow, and children still don’t understand what is wrong, and if it is wrong, what should I do to be right.

If parents don’t know what the right way is, is best to give your child the final positive emotional value rather than endless blows.

This way the boot is more effective!

1. Give your child the opportunity to choose.

In fact, we might as well turn "you don't" into "will it be better for you to do this" and "what will happen if you do this". On the road of children's growth, we will face many choices. Parents cannot make all decisions for their children. As a "experienced person", what we can provide to our children should be experience and lessons, and explore a possible path for them.

There are many roads in life, and there is not only one way to the destination. Perhaps the road we think is not so ideal (of course, if it is a matter of law and discipline, hurting others, it must be a matter of principle, and it must be clearly blocked), it may be a life that children yearn for more. Knowing the obstacles ahead and making firm choices must be the goal they sincerely pursue; if they encounter bumps and want to retreat, as parents, we should also become a solid backing for their children, and telling their children that they have the ability to take risks and pay for their choices.

Given an example: Some boys may try to wear skirts out of curiosity when they were young, and some parents worry that their children have gender cognitive errors and say, "How can boys wear skirts!" "It's so embarrassing to take off the skirt quickly!"

The only message that the children receive from these words is "the parents think it's wrong to do this", but they don't understand "why is this wrong". We can actually try to say, "Baby, your skirt looks so good! You know, in ancient times, boys and girls would wear skirts!"

At this time, you can introduce the "skirts" worn by boys in ancient times to guide children's correct gender cognition.

Then we can say:

"Although in modern times, boys can also wear skirts, just like girls can wear pants, they are free to dress, and there is nothing wrong with it. However, modern society is not very tolerant of boys wearing skirts. You may not be understood by children, and may even laugh at you. You can choose to insist on wearing skirts, but you also need to bear the consequences of being ridiculed! So now, do you want to choose to continue wearing skirts or wear pants like most boys? No matter what your choice is, parents will always support you!"

2. Reduce expectations.

Nowadays parents are "hopeful to your children and your daughters and girls", and chicken kids has become a compulsory course for parents of the Book King. But the path of life belongs to you, and never impose your unfinished ideal goals on your children. The higher you stand, the more painful you fall, and the higher your expectations you put on others will only bring burdens to yourself and the burdens you have on your children. It is a double torture for your children and parents.

3. Think from the perspective of others and understand the child’s thoughts.

Many factors such as age gap, life experience, etc. will inevitably create a generation gap between children and parents, which is inevitable.

is not just about this single problem. In family and even in close relationships, thinking from the perspective of others can reduce the generation gap between people. Although it is impossible to fully empathize, we can give more understanding and tolerance to our close people. Thinking from the perspective of others can not only help us understand the other person’s psychological journey and way of thinking, but also help us further suggestions and communication. It can be said that it is beneficial and harmless.

4. Non-violent communication.

Here provides a gadget to resolve parent-child relationships and intimate relationships: non-violent communication. I think when you learn it, you will find that all problems will be solved and your life will become happier. Non-

violent communication refers to the objective description of facts through observations, rather than confusing observations with comments. When observation and comments are confused, people often tend to criticize and ignore the facts themselves, which is more likely to develop a rebellious mentality.

Nonviolent communication is basically divided into four major structures: Tell the facts, tell the feelings, tell the reasons, tell the specific requirements . Compared with blindly venting emotions and suppressing, non-violent communication can solve problems more efficiently and tend to state facts and express feelings rather than blame and complain.

In short, learning to communicate and understand each other is the most important way to solve all problems in parent-child relationships. Give yourself and your children an opportunity to learn and grow, and create a better tomorrow for our future flowers!

Author: Waiting for Fenglai

Working mothers in the workplace, holding a pen in their left hand and taking care of their children in their right hand. They like reading, writing, painting, and believe that even if life is messy, they must have the poems and distance they yearn for in their hearts. Follow me and continue to provide you with more parenting information.

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