A few days ago, I heard a friend chatting and said that her son Doudou was so worried about parents!
Doudou is 8 years old this year and is in the third grade of elementary school. Doudou is very naughty at school. She always likes to bully girls and tease the teacher, making many mistakes.
Once, Doudou had an argument with a classmate, and he pushed the other party hard in anger. The classmate sat on the ground, crying loudly in pain. After the incident of
, the teacher invited Doudou's mother and explained the situation to her.
After learning about this, Doudou's mother kept apologizing to the teachers and classmates' parents, saying that it was a mistake in her education.
On the contrary, Doudou, who was "watching the fun" on the side, not only did not reflect on him, but also continued to make trouble.
Doudou's mother comforted herself, maybe the child is too young and ignorant, and it will be fine when she grows up.
But Doudou didn't know that he had done something wrong, and he became more and more serious.
After hearing this, I told Doudou mother that you have done a good job in educating your children. The only problem is: you always bear the mistakes for your children.
Most parents have also had the experience of Doudou mother in the process of educating their children. If the child does something wrong, we will unconsciously attribute it to ourselves. It always feels that we have not educated our children well.
But in fact, even if it is the perfect educational model, children cannot avoid making mistakes, because this is the only way for everyone to grow up.
We can recall whether we always experience all kinds of setbacks and make different mistakes when we were children.
If we have never made mistakes in our growth, then how can we establish a good view of right and wrong?
So, it is normal to make mistakes in itself. Every parent of us must accept the fact that children may make mistakes at any time.
And the most important thing is that we should not pay for our children's mistakes.
When we take responsibility on ourselves, children will not realize that their cognition and behavior are wrong, and they will not know how to avoid such things from happening again, and it will even be easier to learn to shirke responsibility.
What we parents should know is that the thing that is more terrible than making mistakes is making mistakes repeatedly. If a child makes a mistake but does not know how to correct it, then the mistake itself has no meaning to grow.
So, when a child makes a mistake, we have two things to do:
First, let the child clearly realize that what he is doing is wrong;
Second, help the child summarize and reflect from the mistakes and avoid making it again next time.
Only by doing this can you help your child establish a complete and correct view of right and wrong, and let him know what things cannot be done. This is much more effective than parents preaching in their children's ears over and over again.
Although we are the first teachers and the most important guides on our children's life path, we must understand one truth, that is, a person must grow up through summary and reflection and taking responsibility.
If you always take on the responsibility for your child, or take care of everything that the child should face independently, then he will never be able to stand alone, face the cruelty of society, and cannot bear the setbacks and pressures in growth.
It is better to teach people how to fish than to teach people how to fish. Instead of always holding on to the child and not letting go and protecting him well, it is better to teach them how to take responsibility, bear pressure, and solve difficulties.
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