Hello everyone, I am Noma~
Shortly after the new semester starts, when I pick up and drop off my children every day, I found an interesting phenomenon at the school gate.
As long as the grandparents and grandparents pick up the child, after picking up the child, they will naturally take the child's schoolbag from the child's hands and carry it on their shoulders.
The parents who pick up the child will either pull the child directly after picking up the child, or the parents will walk in front and the child will follow behind, and the schoolbag will often be carried on the child's back.
The behavior of the elderly carrying schoolbags for their children has been criticized by many people. Carrying schoolbags for their children is spoiling for their children
Many people criticized the phenomenon of the elderly carrying schoolbags for their children, believing that even a schoolbag should be carried for their children, which is a manifestation of spoiling for their children.
In the children's education program "Dear Little Desk", parenting expert Zhang Min once expressed his views on this issue. He believes that if you really love your children, please return your schoolbag to your children.
Hong Kong Polytechnic University conducted a study. The weight of a child's schoolbag exceeds 15% of his body weight. Only after continuous recitation for more than 20 minutes can it affect the child's spinal development.
Ye Yiqian proposed that in addition to books, the schoolbag of Sen Die also has computers, water cups, and sometimes clothes and shoes, which are just like suitcases, and they are indeed very heavy.
Zhang Min said that the weight of the schoolbag is not to help the child carry it, but to find a way to make the schoolbag lighter. For example, let your child learn to organize his schoolbag, which only contains the books you need for the next day in class, rather than memorizing what he doesn’t need every day.
As a mother, I also carry my child's schoolbag after school
In fact, as a mother, I am carrying my child's schoolbag, which is not an isolated case among many young parents. When I was picking up Nuobao after school, I could also see many mothers carrying schoolbags for my children.
Although experts have scientific research and basis, from the bottom of my heart, I still feel that my child’s schoolbag is too heavy. Whenever I lifted my child's schoolbag, I felt my arms sank down.
In Nobo’s school, the coursework is not heavy. The key is that the courses are much more diverse than many other schools. There are many tools to bring in courses such as writing and painting, handicrafts, clay sculptures, labor, and music.
Nuobao will organize his schoolbag every night, put it into the books he needs to use the next day, and take out the textbook he doesn't use. Therefore, the books and tools that Nuobao must use the next day.
In the early autumn weather, it is cool in the morning and hot in the afternoon. When the children walked out of the school gate, it was mostly like this: the coat was draped over their shoulders, the kettle was hung around their necks, the half-person-high -or-organ in their hands, and the back was carrying a schoolbag.
Which parent will not take one or two things from their children when they see it? Not to mention children, even if you see family members or friends holding so many things, you have to take one or two of them to reduce the burden on others!
I don’t think this is spoiling children, but instead think that this is just a normal manifestation of loving children.
On the contrary, when I saw some parents seeing their children sweating heavily and covered in their bodies, the parents only care about walking in front and the children follow behind with difficulty, I would mutter in my heart: What kind of parents are so unreliable!
The relationship is not equal, and double standards should not appear in parent-child relationship
Nobo is in the second grade. In the past year, when I picked up Nobo, it has become a routine for her to carry her schoolbag every day. But I am not anxious, because it has become a routine for Norbuo to buy groceries or get express delivery for me.
Every time I go to the supermarket or go to the vegetable market at the entrance of the community to buy vegetables, I bring the key bags and the lighter bags of Nuobao, which has become our daily routine.
Sometimes when I go to the express station to get the express delivery, I don’t want to go in anymore. Letting Nobo go in and get the express delivery for me is also a common thing in our lives.
I carry my child’s schoolbag. Strictly speaking, I was "taken by" her, but, Nugget carried the bag for me and received the express delivery, wasn’t it just for me?
It is always called "taken by parents" that they cannot take their children's schoolbags. It is appropriate for children to do something for their parents. Relationship asymmetry and double standards are often hated by us in life, and similarly, it should not appear in parent-child relationships.
Helping each other is a traditional virtue of our Chinese nation. This virtue is not only applicable to classmates, friends, and family members.
In such a mutual aid relationship, parents often do not worry that they do not have the ability to live independently due to spoiling.
See the essence through phenomena. The essence of not carrying a schoolbag for children is to cultivate children's independence.
When I was watching the "Dear Little Desk" program, because Noble was still in kindergarten, I didn't empathize with the experts' words.
I just start from theory and practice. I feel that the experts' words are just to let everyone understand that children's independence is very important. Parents should not do everything on their behalf, as this will make children lose their independence in life and will.
Whether to carry the schoolbag for children is a superficial phenomenon and a small matter. It is not worth discussing or even causing a war of saliva.
If the child has strong independence, what if he carries his schoolbag for the child? It can't affect the child at all. If you take care of everything for your child in other places, you won’t let your child have a choice, and even if you don’t carry your child’s schoolbag after school, the fact that you can’t change.
From the phenomenon to see the essence, from the manifestation of carrying a schoolbag for a child, I can't say that the reasoning logic is wrong.
However, at least in the process of reasoning, the arguments are not sufficient.
Or, look at the essence through phenomena, but it depends on which essence you are looking at?
From the superficial phenomenon of carrying a schoolbag for a child, I realized that I cannot take care of everything for the child, know how to respect the child's opinions and ideas, and cultivate the child's independent living ability and independent will. I think this should be the true essence.
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