There is a saying on the Internet: "A good marriage is the unity of two people and mutual achievement; a bad marriage is the lonely fight of one person and living an isolated island."
A good marriage is a combination of men and women. It is not tiring to work. Both of them play their strengths and work towards common goals. For example, if you have strong work ability and earn a lot, you will focus on supporting your family. I take care of the family and educate your children, so that you can have a warm harbor back home.
In a bad marriage, all life is yours. You need to do housework and your children need to take care of them. He enjoys the fruits of his efforts and ignores your efforts while enjoying them.
When he needs his efforts, he pretends to be deaf and dumb, trying his best to escape his obligations, and even blames you for his obligations. If you don't do it, he will make a lot of reasons to blame you.
In the eyes of some men, wives are not partners who need to take care of themselves, but nanny who can make money to support their families and have children, and let them live a life of a grandfather. What's more, not only do I hope that women will serve me well, but I also hope that women will serve the whole family.
Writer Tang Zhifeng once said: "Behind a person's fearlessness in marriage, there must be another person who is constantly humble without dignity."
Whether it is a family member or a husband, the confidence to treat you as a free nanny is given by your weakness and incompetence and inability to resist.
"What? Do you want to take your daughter back to your parents' home? Don't go back to my house? What are you kidding? If you don't go back, won't my mother scold me to death?"
"Why do your mother always want me to go back? Because if I don't go back, you all will have no free nanny, right!" Dong Qian packed up her things while exposing her husband's thoughts incisively.
01.
Dong Qian and her husband He Xin have been married for four years and have a daughter. Looking back on these four years of life, Dong Qian was sad to find that the benefits brought to herself by marriage are far less than the torture of herself.
Four years ago, when Dong Qian and He Xin got married, their parents disapproved, because when their mother dealt with Dong Qian's mother-in-law, she felt that the other party had a bad character and was obviously not a reasonable person. Her boyfriend had two sisters, which made her mother think that the other party's family had the idea of favoring boys over girls and did not agree with this marriage.
However, at that time, He Xin was very good at disguise and was also good at saying sweet words, and firmly grasped Dong Qian's heart. In the end, with Dong Qian's insistence, they got married.
Only after getting married did Dong Qian realize that as experienced people, their parents have a very far-reaching vision, and their worries have become a reality.
"Two years ago, I gave birth to a daughter, which proved my parents' guess. My parents-in-law did have the idea of favoring boys over girls. After learning that I gave birth to a daughter, they immediately turned around and returned to their hometown, left me in the hospital, and did not serve me during the confinement period, nor did they take care of my children."
But He Xin not only did not say anything good to Dong Qian, but did not comfort Dong Qian, but instead asked Dong Qian to become a full-time housewife: "You want to If your parents come to take care of their children, you can go out to work, or you quit your job and become a full-time housewife. My parents are so angry. They refuse to come, and I have no good idea. "
02.
02.
Dong Qian has an older brother. Although her parents do not value boys over girls and love Dong Qian very much, it is impossible for them to take care of their daughter-in-law's feelings for a long time without caring for their daughter-in-law. In desperation, Dong Qian had to give up her job and became a full-time housewife.
became a full-time wife, and Dong Qian's life became even worse. She had no job and income, and had a low voice in her family. He Xin's true selfishness, laziness and mama's true face was also exposed.
" At the beginning, he paid the salary honestly. After paying the salary, he only left more than 1,000 yuan on his body, and everything else was controlled by me. After my mother-in-law found out, she said a few words and he only gave me 2,000 yuan a month, asking me to ask him for it after spending it. Every time I asked him to ask for money, I would be scolded and humiliated by him."
" I kept the account and wanted to show it to him to let him know that I have never spent money randomly, but he didn't have the patience to read it at all, and only knew to scold me. Most of the words were taught by my mother-in-law. "
" When he returned home, he was just an old man. He lay on the sofa and waited for food to count. Even I had to prepare in advance what clothes I wore the next day. Isn’t it normal for my daughter to cry? He often yelled at his daughter, saying that his daughter had quarreled with him, which scared her daughter to a great extent. "
Since becoming a full-time wife, Dong Qian and He Xin have had many quarrels. When they quarrel most frequently, they go back to He Xin's hometown during holidays.
03.
" Last year, I cooked 17 meals for 9 people. This year, each of them went back to their own house and looked for their own mothers. If you don’t do it, you can do it. There is a divorce agreement on the table. Look, there is no problem signing, and you have chosen the time to handle it. You can find another nanny who can give birth to a son and serve your whole family! "
Going back to her mother-in-law's house is a nightmare for Dong Qian. Not only does she have to face the huge pressure from her parents-in-law and other relatives to urge her to get married, but she also has to be called by her mother-in-law who despised herself as a free nanny.
The moment Dong Qian arrived at home, her mother-in-law was liberated, and all the housework was done by Dong Qian, for two reasons. One was that Dong Qian was not good at her belly and only gave birth to a daughter. The other was that Dong Qian had no income and was eating idle meals.
" Last year, his elder sister's family of four came back, and I added me to the family, and there were 10 people. I made 17 meals to take care of everyone's taste. Forget it, his mother doesn't like my daughter, so she keeps paying money, and even makes my daughter cry several times. "
From then on, whenever there is a holiday, Dong Qian will never go back to her husband's house. It is useless to let her husband make trouble. Now, Dong Qian has changed and has become the "shy" in her husband's mouth. She dares to file for divorce and smash things. When her husband slams the table, Dong Qian locks the door, which makes her husband feel helpless.
"He is still nagging there, I'm too lazy to listen. Since he dislikes me so much, why don't he divorce? Are you worried that you will never find a free nanny like me again? What if I don’t care, I will take my daughter back to my parents’ home first, relax, and then study the matter of going out to work. When I have money, I will carefully consider whether to go to or stay in marriage! "
04.
" My first half of life " There is a line in " My first half of life ": When you eat, drink and use, you will have no right to speak. Once this dependence relationship is established, there will be no emotional equality.
When you lose your financial strength and have to ask for money from him, you will give him the opportunity to despise you and practice you. Moreover, it is difficult for you to be tough. If you quarrel with him, he will turn against you, don't give you money, you will have no money, and you will have no money in your hands, and you will have no money in your hands. What can you do? What's more, he tells you to get out, you have no money in your hands, and dare to just take the door away. ?
If you have financial strength and income, even if he is angry in his heart, he will not dare to be so arrogant when facing you, unless he really doesn't want to go through it and wants to spend a lot of money to get a wife back.
Economic independence is not only for women to be confident when you want to spend money, but also for you to get the right to speak in marriage. Also, when there is really a problem with the marriage, you have a way out and you can retreat.
END.
Fengyun Please discuss: Do you have any good suggestions for Dong Qian? Welcome to share your views in the comment section.
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