When talking about parents’ divorce, everyone will first look at the child with sympathy. I have seen too many families, and the relationship between the couple has been broken, but they have to pretend to be loving in front of their children and are unwilling to divorce. Women,

When talking about parents’ divorce, everyone will first look at the child with sympathy.

I have seen too many families. The relationship between the couple has been broken, but they have to pretend to be loving in front of their children and are unwilling to divorce. Women, especially, are more likely to sacrifice for their children and be trapped by their families.

But from the perspective of children, are they really afraid of their parents’ divorce? Divorce will really make the child unhealthy personality. Will he go wrong in the future? Let’s take a look at the answers given in parenting psychology~

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What harm will parents’ divorce cause to their children?

In traditional concepts, it is believed that the cracks in the family will make children lack a complete family education system and their hearts are broken. Not only will they affect their learning, they may also have bad behaviors, such as truant school and disgusted school.

However, psychology believes that the rift in parents' marriage may indeed cause varying degrees of harm to children's psychology, but it is not as serious as we imagine.

There was a survey and research in Hong Kong, China, which took 7,000 families as the research object and found that children who grew up in single-parent families were not much different from ordinary families in terms of learning, behavior, etc.

And compared to those "Full Family" that have been broken but barely forced for the sake of their children, the two sides reached an agreement to divorce happily, causing less harm to the children.

The bad "Wu Tian Family" is more hurtful than divorce

Some psychologists have also studied it specifically, and it turns out that parents' divorce is not the main reason for children's personality defects and abnormal behaviors. The key to the problem lies in whether parents have given their children enough love and attention.

First of all, it is because parents' neglect, indifference, and accusations are the basis, coupled with the broken family atmosphere, which is the root cause of children's pain, and various bad manifestations have occurred.

A family whose feelings have been eliminated. Parents force themselves to endure for their children and force themselves to smile at each other. On the surface, they seem quite harmonious, but they are as smart as children. They have actually discovered the problem.

I feel that the family atmosphere is negative, cold and depressing. Children may try their best to solve the problem in order to save it. Some of them use "self-rebellion" to resist, in exchange for the care of parents and their reconciliation.

Finally found that no matter what you do, the impact on the children will be even greater. Over time, it may lead to their misunderstanding of family and marriage, and even feel resistance.

On the contrary, although parents' happy divorce will cause a certain psychological shadow to the children, it can at least relieve them from the abnormal family atmosphere. If parents can comfort their children well in the future, the scars will have the possibility of healing and they can grow up healthily and sunny in the future.

So, we should not blindly use the sentence "I didn't do it for the children..." as a shield. In fact, it will make children feel stronger and more guilty, always feel that they have become a burden, carrying too much sin, and feel that they can't breathe.

How to reduce the harm to children after parents divorce?

1. Don’t take your anger on your children

No matter who’s fault, the children are always innocent. Don’t take your anger on them, and don’t let your children become the “trash can” for your bad emotions.

In the eyes of children, parents are their favorite people. They themselves feel sad because of your separation. At this time, don’t blame each other in front of them. This will often make it difficult for children to be stuck in the middle.

And the way you tear each other apart will make them afraid of marriage, and it will be difficult for them to establish intimate relationships with others in the future and begin to resist marriage.

2. Instill the correct view of marriage in children

" Chongqing Forest " has a very insightful sentence:

"I don't know when it starts, and every thing takes a day. saury will expire, canned meat will expire, and even plastic wrap will expire. I began to doubt that in this world, what else will not expire?"

love, and marriage will be the same. Perhaps there will always be a "shelf life".

So we must cherish every happy and beautiful moment and live in the present. When it expires, stop the loss in time, then clap your hands, throw it away bravely, and continue moving forward.

Please remember that we must teach our children to love bravely, believe that true love exists, and the beauty of the past is also real. Don’t avoid resisting this matter in the future just because of a bad memory.

3. Live well, love your children,

The failure of a marriage does not mean that the sky is about to collapse. For the sake of yourself and your children, you should also cheer up quickly, work hard to make money, and live hard to show them a sunny dad/mother.

Of course, you should also pay more attention to the psychological changes of your children on weekdays. If you find that their emotions are wrong, help them to relieve them in time, which means that your parents are just separated for some reasons, but they will not lose their love for you. After that, both parties should care more about and take care of their children so that they can feel the warmth of the family.