On Mother's Day, Xiaona, who just got married, came to me and asked me, "Does it hurt to have a baby?"
Looking at her eyes full of curiosity, I wanted to say no. But my reason told her not to lie to her, so I said, "It hurts, it hurts!"
After listening to my answer, Xiaona seemed very uneasy. I couldn't bear it, so I added another sentence: I have to go through what I have to go through to be a mother, and it's good to pass, and I can be a happy mother.
I hold Erbao in one hand and Dabao in the other, letting the two babies rub against my arms like kittens.
At this time, Xiaona's mood suddenly eased up. She looked straight at the three of us, and there seemed to be a flash of light in her eyes.
She said, "You see how happy you are. I really look forward to it. Although I am afraid of pain, I should be able to get through it!" In the days before the birth of Dabao, I was in the exact same mood as Xiaona. I said: "You start preparing now, maybe next year you can receive a gift for Mother's Day!" . Compared with this, the pain of childbirth and parenting before seems to be worthless.
Being given the power to give birth by God, we are in pain and happy.
Compared with strong men, we are always at a disadvantage; pregnancy and breastfeeding not only make women suffer from pregnancy reactions, lack of sleep, and freedom of movement, but also weaken their competitiveness in work and seriously affect their careers.
For some moms with precarious jobs, it's easy to lose their jobs because of having a baby. The 9-to-5 white-collar workers are better, but they also face the risk of "during maternity leave, the original good positions are replaced by others".
The vast majority of women will affect their careers to some extent because of having children, even celebrities. For example, Zhao Liying, who has always been set up as a girl, was criticized by the audience for "no girly feeling" in the first scene of her postpartum comeback. Even celebrities with money and wealth can hardly hide their tiredness after giving birth.
gave birth to a child, loved him, gave him the deepest maternal love. Watching my child grow up healthy and happy, attaching to us, calling us mother, smiling at us... Our heart of an old mother is full of comfort and joy.
At the moment of giving birth, the weak girl who couldn't open the bottle cap disappeared; she had to go to bed early every day, and the beautiful girl who took care of her beauty disappeared. As soon as she turned around, one stayed up late at night and went to work during the day; she was carrying vegetables in her left hand and holding her baby in her right hand; the mother who walked like a fly and was wise and martial, came on the stage.
The greatest self-discipline of women is not to have children indiscriminately.
How difficult it is to have a child, it cost the mother so much.Why not get everything ready?
Prepare money so that women don’t have to worry about their livelihood during pregnancy; prepare a mature mind, so that a woman who is still a child does not have to give birth to another child; Wouldn't it be better to raise children peacefully?
A netizen said that she is very helpless now. Her husband is unemployed at home, and the family has no financial income. She relies on her meager salary to support the family. But recently, she found out that she was pregnant with her second child unexpectedly. She thought that the current financial situation of the family made it impossible to support a second child, so she decided not to, but her husband firmly disagreed.
As a bystander, this netizen is quite rational. She knew exactly what it would mean to have a second child. Pregnancy nutrition, obstetric examinations, childbirth, and parenting all require money. And, while having a baby, her work will definitely suffer.
No money, only the netizen and the child suffer. I hope the netizen's husband can wake up sooner and agree with the netizen's decision.
However, there are still many people who are confused when it comes to having children.
In a mountain, there is a single mother whose husband died not long ago, leaving her and four daughters behind. The eldest daughter is 6 years old and the youngest daughter is less than one year old. In addition, this mother still has one in her belly, which has been more than 5 months. When she was asked if she had given birth to a fifth child, her answer was yes: I hope it will be a boy.
I don't want to discuss too much about the obsession with having a boy. Judging from their economic conditions alone, even if the single mother's husband is still alive, having five children is too much for them. After her husband passed away, the family had almost no source of support. The children don't have any decent clothes, the older ones eat potatoes dipped in peppers, the youngest daughter doesn't have milk powder to drink, but can only drink milk drinks given by others.
Seeing that the weather is getting colder, the children don't even have winter clothes. The mother said with tears: "I don't know how to live in the future. Sometimes I really want to leave, but I miss the children and no one takes care of them."
Perhaps, this mother loves her children deeply. But because she gave birth one after another, her pain was passed on to the next generation. This kind of motherly love is too heavy.
If a mother is suffering from pain and hunger, and when her child comes to the world, she is faced with scowling, sneering and scolding all day long, then the joy of parenting is truly selfish and cruel. builds the mother's love that she has nowhere to place on the pain of the child's life. This is not a mother's love, but a mother's hatred.
The film "Why Home" tells the story of a 12-year-old boy from Lebanon named Zain who sues his parents. The reason why he sued his parents is because his parents really "only care about giving birth, not raising them".
The family was very poor, but they gave birth to several children one after another. According to local laws, the children in the family were all black households without ID cards. Zain, who was still a child himself, had to work in a grocery store to support his younger siblings. Later, my father sold a younger sister to a grocery store owner for money. Zain was very resistant to the marriage, but there was nothing he could do about it, and soon after, the younger sister died of a hemorrhagic pregnancy.
Zain was very saddened by the death of his sister, but he did not expect that his parents not only did not repent, but also planned to have another child, euphemistically called "replacement of the dead sister". In order to prevent his parents from continuing to create tragedies, Zain resolutely took his parents to court.
Perhaps, Zain's parents like to have children and enjoy the joy of raising them. But the level of their raising children is really uncomplimentable. Completely base their own happiness on the child's pain. Can such happiness be called happiness?
A relative of mine sees this very clearly. The two of them are people who go along with the situation and don't care so much about "money". In the eyes of outsiders, they can be regarded as "not seeking progress", but they are honest and do not mess around.
Their brains are very clear: only one child. Although the family is not rich, it is still possible to ensure that a child has no worries about food and clothing.
Yaoan's mother's conclusion
We spend every Mother's Day with joy and pain.
This Mother's Day is much heavier than we thought. Come to think of it, why should children be grateful to us as mothers just because we gave them life?
of course not. As the saying goes: giving kindness is greater than nourishing kindness.
If we are born and not raised, can we still face the feedback from our children with peace of mind? I don't think I can do it.
We women are born with the power to reproduce. Whether we abuse this power or use it sparingly is up to us. What do you think of it?
text/Yaoan mother
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