In life, are we always prone to encounter the kind of people who are mean-mouthed and mean-spirited? They are obviously very kind to others in their actions, helping others, worrying about others, and paying for others, but they always like to say things that are meaningless. Blocking, very hurtful words, thereby obliterating a lot of efforts he has made, making people around him less grateful for his efforts.
In fact, this kind of people are at a disadvantage. A lot has been done, but not enough. And some people may not have done much, but they are sweet-mouthed, popular, and people around them are happy to get along with them. With such a kind word, anyone would be willing to do it.
People who are talkative and mean-spirited are usually very straightforward, but if they speak without considering other people's feelings, they are really unpopular.
I recently read the phrase "Be straightforward but not unreasonable" in the Tao Te Ching, which means that we can be straightforward but not unreasonable in what we say and do.
Frankness originally expresses a kind of frankness and open-mindedness, but if you speak directly without considering other people's feelings, it will become presumptuous, which can be embarrassing at best, hurt others at worst, and cause others' disgust.
Generally speaking, people who are sharp-tongued and mean-spirited are too unrestrained and unobtrusive in their speech. One thing they often say is: "I am a straight-talking person, so don't mind." As soon as this sentence comes out, it basically means that what he is going to say next is not a good thing.
Many times, I speak more directly, but I think I have good intentions, so I deny others, and others may not be able to accept it. If you cannot master the wisdom of speaking, it is better not to speak directly, because many times what you say is just for yourself. If you express your own position and feel comfortable for a moment, you are not really considering the issue from the standpoint of others.
The heroine Li Baoli in " Thousand Arrows Pierce the Heart " is such a person. The root of Li Baoli's tragedy lies in her direct and unbridled speech. She completely ignores the feelings of others, does not give others a chance to breathe, and never leaves room for others to speak. She insults her husband in front of her friends, and even her friends can't stand it. She But still confident. She shows her mother-in-law's looks in front of her husband, and exposes her husband's scars in front of her mother-in-law, but she still feels that she is the righteous party. She never gives her husband face in front of others, and often yells at him. And when she scolded her husband, she never avoided her children. The heroine never believed that she was at fault. Later, her husband committed suicide, and Li Baoli's miserable life began. She worked hard to raise her children, but the children did not accept her love. Li Baoli's ruthless words ruined her originally stable life.
A mature person cannot just say whatever comes to mind, but will consider the consequences and circumstances and adopt a method that is easily accepted by others.
If you really have some pertinent opinions for others, you should say them in a way that others can accept, not in the way you want to say it. Giving advice to others also requires wisdom and consideration. Although many people are straightforward, it does not mean they have the wisdom to speak in the world.
Words are the voice of the heart, sharp knives can easily cut wounds on the body, and bad words can hurt people and make them hateful. Cai Kangyong said something in "The Way of Speaking": What you say determines what kind of person you are. So if you really have a tofu heart, you must not have a ruthless mouth, otherwise it will be easy for people to misunderstand that you also have a narrow and vicious ruthless heart.
A truly emotionally intelligent and wise person is "straight but not unreasonable", frank but not unreasonable.
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