is alone, smoking quietly. I cry when I feel sad, but I don’t want to cry in front of others, so I hide myself. As the tears streamed down my cheeks, they betrayed my vulnerability. Even though I'm really not strong enough.
In half my life, I have never told anyone my so-called true feelings. Because no one can understand my voice. So, I put all my loneliness in that small cigarette. Therefore, I gradually forget whether I smoke because I am sad, or whether I smoke because I am sad.
When you light a small cigarette, you will inevitably feel an indescribable comfort in your heart. The cigarette butt shows flickering lights, seeming to be replaying the prosperity, trance, dullness, ups and downs of life.
I feel that with the cigarette, my heart is filled with an unusual peace, and my whole person is relaxed. That sense of satisfaction, quiet, calm, and ecstatic, disappears after puffing on the clouds, the feeling of happiness arises spontaneously, and the sense of satisfaction is full of vitality...
Obviously, cigarettes are not a good thing. Toxic, harmful, yet addictive. It seduces me from time to time and I can't refuse. I have tried to quit smoking thousands of times and experienced countless practical actions, but they all ended in failure.
There was a time when I felt weak, helpless, spineless, and without perseverance.
After the contradiction and entanglement, it becomes desire and dependence. In the crowd, in social situations, in lonely nights, in your own small space, you can let your mood fly and be in a state of ecstasy.
humbly took off all disguises and indulged himself like this. I like to be eroded by it and tolerate its shortcomings. This is how I am, keeping company with cigarettes and integrating into one.
Watching the smoke disappearing and the clouds and mountains covered with fog, I felt like a burst of flying mist. Burn yourself and endanger others. Friends have no intention of blaming, relatives are helpless.
It's just that I have no better reason to defend myself, so I can only be shameless and laugh along with it awkwardly...
So, I never long for eternity. Who would believe that a cigarette will last forever?
In fact, when the cigarette is extinguished, the heartache will still be heartache and the loneliness will still be there.
When I miss you, light a cigarette, read your name, and inhale it deeply.
When you are angry, light a cigarette, take a strong puff, spit it out quickly, and stare until it disappears.
When you are calm, light a cigarette, sit on the balcony, look out the window at the scenery of lakes and mountains, and the rolling clouds...
What you breathe in is longing, what you spit out is loneliness.
This loneliness carries a kind of desolate beauty, silently circling around in the air, entangling my life.
(pictures deleted due to network infringement)
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