"Suffering education" seems to be very popular in our society since ancient times, from "Therefore, when heaven is about to entrust a person with a great responsibility, he must first suffer his will, strain his muscles and bones, starve his body, deplete his body, and mess up his actions. Therefore, if you are tempted to endure, you will benefit what you can't do" to "Without a single step. "How can plum blossoms smell so fragrant when the bones are so cold?" Such sentences are still used by many people today. Many people regard them as their own words of wisdom. They use them to comfort themselves when they are suffering, thinking that this is a test given to them by God, as if they can succeed as long as they pass the test.
If a person does not go through some hardships, he will not be successful. This is the inner thought of a large number of people, and it is also the experience that many parents use to educate their children. They believe that a difficult environment can help people succeed. They firmly believe that only after going through wind and rain can you see the rainbow. Suffering is a blessing, and young people must suffer some hardships.
A friend shared with me an incident from her childhood. At that time, there was a milk box at the door of every house, and you could order milk. She also wanted to order it. Her family was not bad, so ordering milk was more than enough, but her mother just didn't think it was worth it. Later, her brother also wanted to drink it, and her mother ordered it without saying a word, saying that she would give the older one to the younger one.
Many of her classmates enrolled in extracurricular classes in order to improve their grades. They bought some 3D virtual simulation experiment courses and learned the experimental steps at home, so that they could better understand the physical and chemical knowledge in the classroom. She said that her physical and chemical scores were relatively poor and she wanted extracurricular tutoring. Her parents rejected her, thinking that only those who did not study well in school needed it. They also scolded her for wasting money. Her parents' attitude made her more resistant to learning, and she gradually learned to be silent.
Under the influence of this family atmosphere, she also habitually treated herself harshly. Even after she started working and gained financial ability, she never bought milk again, nor asked her parents for money. She felt that she was not worthy of owning good things. She considered the price before buying things. Before trying on clothes, she looked at the price with the disdainful eyes of shop assistants. She was flattered when others gave her something and wanted to return it.
Because she has received the education of hardship since she was a child, saving money has become the criterion for measuring everything. Many parents have survived in a difficult environment, and they rightly believe that suffering has given them the quality of hard work, so they also regard it as a model in the education of future generations.
In families, and even in society as a whole, there are always people who like to advocate the education of suffering. In fact, this kind of suffering is meaningless and will leave a profound impact on a child's life. Children who grow up under the brainwashing of this educational concept will always have a sense of guilt about pleasure and a bone-deep inferiority complex.
Of course, I don’t mean to let everyone pursue pleasure blindly and avoid suffering. So what kind of suffering is worth eating? Set your sights on a goal, no matter what difficulties and obstacles you encounter, no matter how others doubt you or discourage you, never give up or give up, grit your teeth and persevere. This kind of hardship is worth enduring.
The problem with many parents is that they incorrectly define the value of suffering. The truly valuable "suffering" is to be willing to sit on the sidelines, give up temporary entertainment, not participate in meaningless social activities, and not wrong yourself to cater to others in order to realize your ideals. Only by being self-disciplined and self-improving can it be meaningful to endure this kind of suffering. And meaningless suffering will not play any role in a person's growth. Suffering is suffering and will not become capital.
When children pursue their own goals, grit their teeth and persevere no matter how difficult it is, and take the initiative to endure the hardships of learning, self-discipline, and growth. This is the truly valuable "hardship". This is what we expect to see, and we hope that we parents can encourage each other.
