text/Lilian who will never lose my love forever
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I haven't gone out for a long time, and I'm going out for a walk today.
The sun outside is very bright and the air is fresh.
The wheat seedlings are green and shiny, and the pleasant cries of birds come from afar, as well as the sound of workers working in high-rise buildings.
suddenly felt that I was very failed, lonely, and meaningless. The world is so big, I am confused and entangled in this acre of three-point land, like a mud, and powerless. My passionate youth was consumed by me, and I did nothing, and I even fell into destruction for a while.
I was thinking that my parents brought me to this world just to see me depressed and unprofitable all day long? I brought my child to this world but I couldn’t enjoy any protection. Will my life depend on myself in the future? How despised I should be.
I used to be the pride of my parents.
I used to be successful in my studies.
I have won a lot of honors in the field of my work.
I try to play a good wife, a good mother, and a good daughter-in-law. I can endure the embarrassment in life and the grievances in work, but I have a beautiful future that we describe in my heart: the children have finally grown up and our careers have just reached a level. We can breathe a little relieved and go and see the outside world with our parents.
You always like to take us out to see when you have time. I am afraid of spending money randomly and I can't bear to leave it alone. You did your best to take us through so many places. Maybe I will never have the chance to see the world again in my life.
We are not in a hurry and always think that the future is long.
You teach me how to drive, I always feel that you are there, you must live to be sixty years old, but not. Now I have to hold the steering wheel in my hand and shuttle through the streets and alleys. Even if my heart is full of uneasiness, I have to bite the bullet and drive and walk. This is my path, my destined disaster. I picked it up, and I was going to walk on my knees.
But I think I'm still not strong enough. Every breath of air I breathe, my heart hurts.
If I can protect you, if I can bring you a good life, but I don’t. Now, I am still mediocre. In the future, your parents and my children are alone, how helpless and stupid.
You always said that I was stupid at that time, and I was willing to immerse myself in the halo of stupidity. This is an atmosphere of happiness and the desolation of love. You love to call me "froth". Actually, I'm not fat because you're very thin. My biggest wish is that you can gain a little weight, even a little bit I am satisfied with. In the last moment, you told me that you were content and you had no regrets.
I don’t know that you are saying goodbye to me in this way? Our happy life has not begun yet. You are so hurrying that I can't keep up with you.
Now I am very embarrassed, all the light in my eyes is extinguished. Even if I try hard to drink a lot of spiritual chicken soup every day, I can't hide my haggardness that can be seen by the naked eye.
All my yearning for the outside world disappeared, and I only live in memories.
Seeing that the weather is so good today and seeing that everything around you is so lively, I suddenly feel that I don’t look like a person in my thirties, but I am old. Suddenly I felt very boring, and suddenly I felt sorry for myself, my parents and children.
In fact, in this world, there are a few people who are truly capable, and there are a few people who are truly calm. We are all ordinary people and live a plain life. I can only pray for my family to be healthy. We are all the same, live well and work hard to live.
You have experienced big sets of twists and turns, how are you doing now?
Author/Lilian, who will never lose my love,
Focus on writing inner emotions
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