text/Bai Yan
Source: Nanfeng Magazine
Picture source: Internet (delete if infringement)
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pond water is green and wind is warm. I remember Yu Zhen first met.
Whenever I think of the word Yan Shu , I will wonder in despair whether all the beautiful encounters in are just Lan Yinxuguo in the end.
It was an afternoon with a high temperature orange warning, and I was on duty in the laboratory alone.
The boy walked in at some point, carrying a long black shoulder bag and thick hair sloppy against his delicate forehead.
I didn't plan to talk to him, but he picked up a glass bottle with green plants very skillfully.
The boy observed it with interest for a while, then walked over and patted my shoulder and said, "Look at its root system, it's so beautiful, it looks like it's dancing."
When he said this, he raised the glass bottle high and faced the scorching sun outside the window. In order to make me clearer, he put his hands down a little lower. I looked at him with some clues. But he didn't look at me.
His glass ball-like brown pupils were all focused on the glass bottle, and I could almost smell the sun-dried washing powder on my body, and my ears suddenly became hot.
I covered up my "um" and then turned my face stiffly. He put the glass bottle back in place and walked around the laboratory again. Finally, I stopped in my seat and chanted my name gently. I didn't know where to ask, this is your seat.
I could only nod my head silently. Before he could stop him, he had already opened my homework book and praised him, his grades were good.
Then he smiled and said, "I've decided, I'll copy your homework from now on."
I don’t know why, but I remembered that picture fiercely. He sat in the middle of an open classroom, his long legs stretching freely like the roots of a plant. He looked at me with a smile on his eyes, while I stood there as if I was stunned, searching all the sentences in the textbook, and couldn't find a word to deal with.
It seems that since this encounter, I have been destined to be the disposable shadow around him.
002
A week later, he officially stood on the podium to introduce himself. Ginger is bright, bright light, bright light.
That day, he took the initiative to sit in front of me. The first thing I said to me was, do you don’t like to laugh?
I was extremely embarrassed at that time, probably because of the inferiority of youth. I always worry inexplicably that I will show too many teeth when I smile, or that I am not white enough.
But how could I tell him this? I could only pretend to be impatient and not turn my face. He was not annoyed, and just begged me in a low voice, "You can do your English homework soon." Remember. After saying that, he rushed downstairs with a basketball in his arms.
To be honest, in the environment where most boys race against time to play the King of War, boys who love sports are almost becoming rare animals. Therefore, there are many girls who like him openly and secretly.
There was also a bold girl knocking on the door in the next class and asking to scan his WeChat from a distance. However, he mostly smiles and refuses to respond, just a textbook-style "say no" that will not embarrass the other party even if he refuses.
Once, I was entrusted by a good friend and asked him a very gossipy question, what kind of girls do you like?
He stared at me like he was watching an alien creature for a long time before he smiled and said, "You won't like me, right?" How is that possible. I pretended to be angry and stopped talking to him. He looked at me quietly for a while before saying that since it wasn't your question, I won't answer.
I don’t know why, but he copied it very slowly that day. It was getting dark, and I said I wouldn't be able to catch up with supper. He waved his hand and said, I'll treat you.
It suddenly rained on the way to eat. He took off his coat and used it as an umbrella for me. When he arrived at the restaurant, he felt like he was salvaging it from the river. He shook his cell phone that had been soaked in water and said, "I'm afraid you'll have to invite this meal." I quickly agreed.Who knew that the next second he would start to laugh and stroke my hair vigorously. Then I said seriously, remember, go out for dinner with boys in the future and don’t rush to pay.
other stores either broadcast news or old movies. Only that hotel broadcasts Korean light comedy. I ate and laughed, almost squirting on his face. Just when I was embarrassed and wanted to avoid it, he suddenly leaned closer and said, "You actually have a good smile."
Why does it have the word "yes"? Because a new dimpled beauty came to the next class at that time.
It is said that they were already in an ambiguous period at that time. Although he did not show any interest in her in me, I always feel that only by standing with the dimpled beauty can I be considered a perfect match.
But on the day of graduation, he kissed me in the face in front of the dimpled beauty. He held my hand in a high profile and said that he had been with me for a long time. After saying that, the beauty of dimples smiled coldly and said that that was pretty good too.
Anyone with discerning eyes can see that I am just a tool for them to hurt each other, but I myself refuse to believe it and want to bet on his little friendship with me.
We had a long-distance relationship for a whole year. Just when I bought the ticket and planned to show up secretly to surprise him, he told me that he was already on a plane to South Korea. It was not until the moment the flight attendant urged him to hang up the phone that he remembered to notify me of this girlfriend.
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After that, we became friends for no reason. Maybe my best friend is right, and my relationship is never decided by me.
He likes to share his experiences in Seoul with me, and even often sends me gifts. So much so that the girls in the entire dormitory later wanted him to help with purchasing agents. Of course I refused to convey it until he sent it to my own online store. I only realized that he had started this industry long ago. Some of my small gifts were made by him who helped others buy them and saved up points for them.
In those years, I had many moments of sleepless nights. I really want to rush to him and ask if I really liked me back then. I felt like I asked again, so I lost again.
Later I read a book. It is a marriage story written by an 82-year-old grandma. The material is her own real life.
She wrote about the grievances in marriage. When they first got married, their parents-in-law gave them a pair of big white chickens. As a result, because I forgot to lock the yard gate, the big white chicken was stolen.
She was heartbroken, after all, a pair of white chickens were comparable to gold and silver in that era of material scarcity. Her husband didn't say a word and hadn't spoken to her for half a year. No matter how she pleases her, she will do everything she can, and she will be cold and violent to the end.
It was not until many years later that the husband mentioned this again that he said what he thought. It turned out that he didn't believe that the chicken was stolen. He wishfully thought that it was his wife who secretly sold it and then subsidized the money for his parents' home.
When he learned the truth, his wife was crying without tears, and her heart was like a big hammer worth hundreds of pounds.
There are many similar things. When she was pregnant, she wanted her husband to help pour some foot wash water. Her husband said, don’t be too pretentious. Then she could only lift the big and heavy foot wash basin with her belly.
Later, they all got older, especially after their husbands fell seriously ill, and they needed personal care for eating, drinking, defecation and urination. His wife also took care of him for many years. At the age of gray hair, they finally developed some friendship of dependence for each other.
One day, my wife asked him, do you want to be with me in the next life? She was looking forward to the answer, but she heard a cold sentence: I don’t want it. She said she couldn't figure it out. I really want to ask him why, but unfortunately I don’t have the chance anymore.
The day after reading the ending, I decided to go find him.
At that time, he happened to return to China, although the news was made public on his circle of friends. But he had no intention of coming to me at all.
I had to take the initiative to find him. Anyway, I have taken the initiative so many times and don’t care about compromise again.
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I made an appointment with him on WeChat, and the location was in a coffee shop near high school. He walked towards me in high spirits, wearing a smoky gray casual suit and a white baseball cap. He said with a smile, long time no see.
Just as I took a sip of coffee, I couldn't wait to ask the questions that had bothered me for too long.
I said, why are you with me at the beginning? And why, suddenly I went abroad to study. He was stunned for a moment, and seemed to ask me unexpectedly, "You didn't care at that time, why are you suddenly asking now?"
I realized that my passive acceptance from beginning to end, and my quiet relief were all because of his indifferent eyes.
"No, I care a lot. I even lost insomnia for two years because of this."
I was extremely calm when I said this. It seems to be talking about what I ate yesterday. He stared at me for a long time before he said sorry.
The cause and effect behind the matter is similar to what I expected. He was with me just to get revenge on the dimpled beauty's empathy for other people's love. He said that in fact, they had been in a secret relationship for a long time, but they had not made it public.
He also said that because he didn't know how to break up, he had to choose to end up in vain.
Not long after I drove the car to the highway, it started to rain heavily.
The rain lasted for two days and two nights. I sat in the room without the lights on, crying silently for a long time. Before saying goodbye, he hugged me very hard and asked, are we still friends?
I shook my head. No. Then delete his WeChat in front of him. He nodded and stood up and left. I took out the whole cup of coffee in one breath. Suddenly I had a little regret. Maybe I shouldn't know the truth.
If this happens, I will recall this person and this relationship for the rest of my life. I will only remember the day I met, the atmosphere was so good, like the beginning of countless beautiful stories.
He has walked far forward, and I stayed there, firmly guarding the warmth of memories, and refused to wake up.
just treat it as an illusion, I still want to remember the beautiful part. For example, the coat he put on me, the shrimp shell he peeled for me, the lychees he bought for me after running several streets.
Those vague love are enough to make me forgive you.
END
"Nanfeng"
022 Issue 11
—— Brand new launch——
