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In the long river of time, many of our memories will be diluted, abraded or even gone by the years, and some will also "reveal the truth" in the river of time. Simply put, some memories will grow with the years.
His father has been leaving us for a full 20 years. Over the years, I have always thought about writing something for my father, but because of laziness and fear of difficulties, I often just remember some fragments of my father's life before he died. In February this year, my mother also left. At the memorial service, we recalled every bit of my mother's birth, and naturally thought of my father in our hearts. What should I do for my father? What else can I do for my father? I asked myself more than once, did I do it? The 16th day of the ninth lunar month is my father's 90th birthday. My memory and nostalgia for my father should be time to "become a ripe and a ripe stem". I think I can't delay any longer, otherwise, I will not only be too sorry for my father, but also even myself.
Memories of growing up in the river of time
Text | The leisurely wandering cloud
1
Father was born in our family in 1932. The ancestral house at that time was called Xielaiwutang, a dilapidated straw thatched hut. The birth of my father brought joy and hope to this poor family. The grandmother is happy to have the eldest grandson, and the family is full of hope, and she can't help but be happy; the grandfather has a child, and he will live up to his high expectations and will naturally be happy. That is, it is covered with the halo of hope. As soon as my father came to this world, the family seemed to come for his mission. What greeted him was the high hopes of the family's "prosperity", the heavy burden of the family's "strive to work hard", and the hard pursuit of "leaving the best" throughout his life.
My father shouldered three major missions throughout his life. To put it simply, it is: inheriting incense, supporting the family business, and shining the family.
Tai Grandfather and grandfather were in the era of the family, and the grandfather raised one son and four daughters. The important task of Guangda’s family was borne by his father alone. His father has five sons and two daughters. He is under heavy pressure of having too many people and having no support in his livelihood. With his diligence and wisdom, he has to settle the big and small things of this family, and his living conditions are getting better and better every day. When I was a child, my father often told us: When your grandmother was alive, she told me to add more people to the family. I have completed this task. During festivals and holidays, when worshiping ancestors, my father would always say to his grandmother: Grandma, when you were alive, you asked me to give you more children. Now I have brought you a room of people. Please bless your children and grandchildren! Between words, never forget your mission and take responsibility.
2
The father, who shouldered three missions, shouldered two major tasks in his childhood: study hard and work hard, that is, study and earn money to support his family. Studying is for the prosperity of the family. The elderly often say, "The rich rely on studying, and the poor rely on feeding pigs." The elders who are afraid of poverty and are afraid of hardship put the burden of getting rid of poverty on their fathers; their fathers seem to be born specifically for studying, not only are they particularly hardworking, but also have excellent grades. Liu style characters are crafted, the ancient style is strong, and the arithmetic is also outstanding. The gentleman often can't help but praise a few times, and the elders in the family are always happy. It is also thanks to his childhood intention and habits. Although my father's life is increasing pressure to support his family, reading and practicing calligraphy is still a natural component of his life. When I went to Changsha to study, my father still treasured the " Zuo Zhuan " he copied. The words left on fur paper are all skill and all attentive.
My father has been working hard since he was a child. My father was 5 years old and my eldest aunt came to the death, and then my second, third and fourth aunts also came to this family one after another. As the eldest son and as the eldest brother, my father has no choice but to help his grandfather support this family in turbulent times and difficult lives. During the busy farming period, we work hard to cultivate, plow and rake, plant the fields and spread the grain, and water the water to water the water to water the water to water. We will not be afraid of dirt and tired. During the slack farming period, we will go out to make money, regardless of distance, regardless of weight.When I was a child, I often heard elders and adults talk about my father's hard work in childhood. When I was 12 years old, my father followed my grandfather to Shaoyang and Xiangtan ; made tin pots and picked up carbon foot; traveled south and north, wind and rain, day and night, even if the road was blocked with heavy snow, there was still no stop. There were several times when I was lost in the vast snow-capped mountains, hunger and cold. Fortunately, I was helped by good people, so I relieved my hunger and cold and found my way back successfully.
Spring goes and autumn comes, and the time changes, and my father grows up day by day. Time makes my father grow into a man with a slightly thin body but a strong body. My father got married and new hope ignited at home. But there were unexpected situations in the world. In the first month of 1955, the 48-year-old grandfather left the world and left the burden of supporting a poor and weak family with eight women and one man, who was about to be born, with eight women and one man, and his father silently shouldered it with his ability and strength he had learned since childhood. From then on, a winding path of starting a business and building a family extended under his father's feet.
My father worked hard all his life and was very careful. During the decades when my father was in charge, he was basically a big family with 10 people, and there were too many people and few labor. In that era when I was short of food and clothing and earned work points to exchange for food, I don’t know how my young father could make such a family basically solve the problem of food and clothing and settle down, but my father relied on his diligence, thrift and wisdom and worked hard to create a miracle that our family basically had no worries about food and clothing.
I have a memory of my father's frugality. When I was a child, whenever someone accidentally dropped a grain of rice on the table, my father would immediately ask him to pick it up and eat it, and then tell us: I was beaten by lightning when I was alive. When your father-in-law (grandfather) was alive, he found that the grain fell on the toilet board, and he picked it up and ate it; your father-in-law went to slime (lǖ dialect, transported by earth truck) to grinding stones, and ate one salted egg for a week.
Father is such a person who eats salted eggs for a week and regards a penny as more important than life. Some people say that my father held his hands too tightly, and it was an "iron clip". When I was a child and when I was young, I didn’t understand it very much; but time has slowly taught me to understand my father’s “iron clip” mind. Until now, no matter where and when, I can’t tolerate people saying that he is “stingy” and “iron rooster”, because I know my father’s difficulties, my father’s helplessness, and I know that only by making such a careful calculation of one cent for two cents can our family have the days of being hungry and the development and growth of our family now. Who has carefully considered how much my father has paid and how much he endured for this family? My father's idea of thrift and thrift is deeply rooted in the hearts of everyone in our family. Even if the material conditions have improved now, even if people say that I am "stingy" and "small in structure", the thrift and thrift that have been inherited from my bloodline is still "unchanged".
In my father's hands, our family has experienced "one transformation and two new constructions": one transformation is to change the tiles, and the original straw thatched hut is converted into tiles; two new constructions are two new houses in the new old residential land and two new houses in the new Zhangjiatuo. The old man said, "Get up a house to build a boat, and don't sleep day and night." This sentence condenses the difficulty and difficulty of building a house. How difficult it would be for a weak family to build a house twice! Although these houses no longer exist and have been replaced by newly built concrete buildings, the houses built by my father will always remain in our "long-lasting" memory.
My father is honest and loves his family first. In terms of personal abilities and opportunities, the father could have done more and could have lived a more relaxed and decent life. In the early 1960s, his father worked as an accountant in Nantang Coal Mine (county-run coal mine). With his intelligence, he was able to work with ease and highly praised by his leaders. However, because "living a hard life" came, for the sake of his family's food and clothing, he resolutely gave up his easy and comfortable work and went home to work.In the 1970s, the brigade changed its branch secretary, and the superior leader talked to his father and asked him to join the party and be the brigade branch secretary; the brigade branch secretary at that time was the "local emperor". He did not have to work, and he would also have various incomes openly and secretly. My father was a person who was well aware of and obeyed the ancestral teachings of "a gentleman loves money and gets it well". He rejected the leader's kindness, and there was only one reason-I had 10 people to support, and I couldn't take care of both. If such a thing was placed in today's generation, I wonder how many people would beg for grandpa and grandma to ask for it, but my father refused without vaguely. With such character today, should my father at least be called a "model of family love" or a "typical of tough guy"? Anyway, as a son, I am full of pure admiration and admiration.
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Although my father is not a teacher, he has never read any tutoring classics, but he has his own set in educating his children. I have read the family rules and educational philosophy of some celebrities, and my father's education for us is not inferior at all. I summarized my father’s educational rules as “Two and three demonstrations in the morning”.
"Early in the morning" emphasizes early education and develop good habits. Since we were young, my father has been teaching us without any chance. The most common thing we talk to us on weekdays is "Xilihuangguaizhu (a kind of small bamboo ), and Daliyuan (yǚ dialect, meaning twisted) is not curious." "Tseng Master said, 'I examine myself three times a day: are you unfaithful for planning people? Do you not believe with friends? Are you not familiar with passing on?'" When we were young, we didn't have kindergartens, and we didn't go to elementary school until we were seven or eight years old. My father, who is very rich in money, would buy fur paper and even tracing red books, so that we could practice calligraphy and calligraphy from a young age, and insisted on giving us corrections and guidance every day; we used a red pen to circle the well-written characters, and told us what's good about this character and what's the problem with that character.
Whenever we do something wrong, my father does not stop it in anger, but instead discusses the matter and understands the truth. My father’s requirements for us are strict, sometimes almost strict, and with the patriarchal power, we are very afraid of him. In fact, my father loves us very much. In my memory, my father rarely hits us. Maybe it’s what he calls “father’s love is like a mountain.”
I was sick after I was born. My father hugged me day and night to seek medical treatment everywhere, spending a lot of money and worrying a lot. My father said that one winter morning, it was very cold and it was covered with white tooth cream. It was still bright. He hugged me, wrapped in a small quilt, and went to the clinic in Dongwanli with his mother for treatment. When he walked to Shanshan Valley, he met a family that opened the door. They greeted him warmly, "Where are you three going in the early morning?" When the father heard the "three people", his heart immediately lit up: This child is saved. So I rushed to the clinic in a hurry. Sure enough, my illness got better after the diagnosis.
The younger brother Xianyun suddenly had a high fever and was unconscious one afternoon when he was three or four years old. It was the same time when he grabbed double snatched . Grandma was so anxious that she immediately ran to tell her father who was wearing He in the rice fields. My father was stepping on rice maker at the time, and he was covered in water and mud, without a single piece of dry yarn. As soon as he heard the news, he turned his head and ran home without saying a word. He picked up Xianyun and ran back to the clinic four or five miles away, and ran to the clinic in one breath. The doctor injected my younger brother with penicillin, gentamicin , and my father hurriedly ran to the well to catch a cage to cool down physically. After being busy for a long time, my brother's high fever still couldn't subside. My father asked someone to bring a letter to ask the family to send money, but he picked up his younger brother and ran to Mujiatang Xingzi Central Hospital more than 10 miles away, because he was in a hurry and didn't bring money at all. When my mother and I arrived at Aunt Fu's house near the hospital late at night, my brother's fever subsided and he had already taken a shower and was playing happily. But my father was still wearing a sweat shirt and shorts covered in mud and sweat. He looked at his younger brother who was playing freely after dinner, with a smile on his face and chatting with his uncle and aunt about family matters. When I saw that we arrived, I got up and took a shower and changed my clothes.Thinking of these, and reading these, do you still think your father is harsh and terrible? Will you still hold a grudge against your father who beats you and scolds you?
My father doesn’t say much about our education on weekdays, but he is good at grasping the key points, just like he never asks about his parents’ shortcomings at home. His education focuses on: reading with sincerity, being loyal to people, managing the family with thrift, respecting the elderly and loving the young, and being harmonious with neighbors. Regarding this, it is best to use the family motto he set for us. In that era when tradition was abandoned, my father built an ideal blueprint for a big family. He called this big family "Mingyutang". He sets the family motto as "taking Mingyu as the main line, we must work hard, unite relatives and friends, and respect the elderly and love the young."
To be honest, I was not very at ease with my father's family precepts at the beginning. Until my daughter grew up, especially when she got married, I had instructions and hope for my father. On my daughter's return banquet, I gave my daughter and son-in-law 16 words: love-oriented, harmony first, moral integrity and self-esteem, and start a family and career. At that time, I was very serious about giving them a few words, hoping that their daughters and sons-in-law would be together for the rest of their lives and be happy until they grow old. Later, I remembered the 20 words of my father's family precepts and found that the words were different and the essence was exactly the same. At this point, I have truly understood my father's good intentions in educating.
Fathers never value preaching and always educate us with silent language and audio facts. He repeatedly told us, "If you have books, you will not read them." You must study hard, so he will never be lazy and will persist in studying and practicing calligraphy all his life. In the busy summer season, when farming is busy, it is noon, and the heat is hard to stop. We often take the opportunity to have a good sleep, but my father takes a book called "Romance of the Three Kingdoms", "Water Margin" or "Complete Book of Tang", find a cool door, hold the book in the left hand, and sings the palm fan in the long tone of Mr. Gushu: "Fourth update - hour - minute, Cao Bing - kill - come, Zhang Fei - kill - a bloody road..." That tone and that scene are really immersive, forget about worries, and enjoy themselves. So what else should we use to persuade the interpretation of books like "there is a golden house in the book and the beautiful Ruyu in the book"?
My father's calligraphy and knowledge are profound, but he never shows off his skills and does not show off his feelings. Only when he wants to use it can he show his profoundness and preciousness. Neighbors and villagers have fun events, and their father can write couplets and compositions with his wife, and the neighbors can praise each other. I remember that the year my grandmother passed away, because her family was not well off, she did not have a pen to write an elegy couplet, and she didn’t even have ink. But my father picked up the bamboo shells on the edge of the mountain, and used a hammer to soften the 4 heads of bamboo shells. He tore a small piece of bamboo shells and wrapped them around the belly of the pen. It was a bamboo shell pen from the magic. Without ink, he took some coal and mud to form ink. With a wave of the bamboo shell pen: "Lovely smiled and the heavens left, and the children and grandchildren were sad and sad." A powerful and powerful willow elegiac couplet was completed in one go. I remember secretly amazed by my father's wit and talent, and actually ignored the specific content of the elegiac couplet.
As a man, he should be responsible and not be surprised when things change. My father rarely teaches us a lesson, but he teaches us alively with his own actions. I remember that year I was going to build two new houses next to the old house. Taking advantage of the rainy days, my father and brother saw the hang leather at the gate - using a saw to separate the small fir strips from one or two. I helped them hold the sawed fir strips. In order to save them a little lightly, I pulled apart the sawed fir strips from both hands. Once, because I used too much force, the fir strips were pulled open, and the saw in my father's hand saw the tiger's mouth in his right hand, and blood gushed out. I was frightened at that time, but my father was calmly holding the injured tiger's mouth with his left hand, lifted it up, sealed the blood in his own way, and then ran to the wood stove in the teahouse to take out a handful of ash, apply it to the wound, and bandaged it with cloth. There was no resentment or scolding me, as if nothing was wrong. That scene and that mark, I will always be vivid in my life.
si
Years pass, wind and frost are engraved into the father's face, and the father's merits are also engraved into the hearts of the growing children. The children are growing up and they are all starting families and starting businesses. Seeing his family's future improvement, the first clue of "filial sons, filial sons, and virtuous grandsons" he hoped for, his father could not hide his inner joy, and sometimes even said to the previous sentence with a feudal parent: "I don't borrow writing from others in writing, and I don't borrow generals from others in martial arts." The father, who was conscious of his mission, was a bit proud. However, just when he completed the tasks of being a son and a father, completed the three major missions of the family and even the family, and was preparing to accompany his mother to enjoy his old age easily, he fell ill and suffered a stroke. Although there are also seeking medical treatment, the hope of recovery has been lost day by day with time.
For three and a half years, my father thought of being a powerful man again but could not. We, as children, did not really appreciate the pain and helplessness. Although I have read some stories in history that literati have a difficult ambitions and have no way to serve the country, I can understand the great changes in my father's temper during illness, and even lose his temper, but I have never carefully sootheed his painful and lonely heart.
In our family, my father was born for his mission and died because of destiny. I thought our father was a great husband in ordinary times. I deeply admired and would be deeply grateful. If someone says something is wrong with his father, even if he does have shortcomings, I will be very disgusted and even be anxious with him.
wu
My father has gone, and has been away for a full 20 years. I know that what I say now has no value or meaning to him, but I seem to miss him more and more.
When I have nothing to do, a cold reason, I will suddenly think of something about my father, and sometimes I even long to see my father in my dream at night. I once heard from the old man that it is unlucky to dream of talking to dead people, but I don’t believe in this superstition. I want to dream of my father. I did dream of my father a few times, and the father in my dream was like he was when he was alive, even more kind than before. My father and I followed each other and had a conversation, and even once even lying on the same side...
My reason for missing my father is because I feel guilty in my heart and deep guilt towards my father.
Shortly after my father passed away, my mother told me: "Your master worked hard all his life and traveled around many places, but he had never entered or seen the city." Thinking of my whole family transferring to Zhuzhou , my brothers at the beginning didn't understand it very much, but my sick father unambiguously supported my decision. After I came to Zhuzhou, I never met my father who had never entered the city and entered the city. Even when my father wanted to come to Zhuzhou, because of my ignorance and selfishness, I put out the spark of hope of my father.
On July 15th of the summer vacation before my father passed away, my family of three went back to my hometown while I was making up for the summer vacation. My mother said to me privately: "Your grandfather wants to go to your birthday this year (the 16th day of the 9th lunar month, 69 years old. The villagers are used to calling 70, and there is a saying that men and women are in full in their hometown) to go to you." I said at the time, "Okay!" But I shouldn't add a sentence afterwards, "But when I go to the city, don't make noise (the father who has been hemiplegic in will lose his temper and scold people for a long time), it will be bad for others." On August 29, my brother called: "My grandfather has been regained, no, come back to see him for the last time!" When I rushed home, my father was already unconscious and couldn't speak. I called Dad, and he opened his turbid eyes when he heard the sound, without any expression.
Two days later, my father left and took him away with all his concern, reluctance and regret for this family and the world.
20 years, my father's regret has often been suppressed in my heart, making me reflect, recall and making me regret. I know that it was my "but" statement that extinguished my father's hope of going to the city to see a new situation, and even extinguished his father's hope of life.As a son, as the son who cares about my father until his death and is worried about my daughter but not my son, when I think of these, how can I not regret it, how can I not blame myself, how can I not be heartbroken?
I thought that if I had known all this, I would have rented a car to pick up my father to stay in Zhuzhou for a few days if I had no money; but life just has no "if", everything is over. But nothing will pass. I once couldn't help but tell my brothers that I told my close friends, but it was useless, just like drinking to drown my sorrows even more sorrowful. The only thing I can do is cherish my mother who is still alive, accompany her more and comfort her. Therefore, after I have a car, I will try my best to go back to my hometown more and see her. Although my mother has always insisted on doing her own things, although my brothers and sisters at home are taking care of her mother more and more thoughtful and meticulous, although every time we call, my mother says, "I'm fine, don't worry about me." Although every time we go back to my hometown, my mother insists on cooking for us by herself and treating us as guests, I still think about going home more and more. In recent years, we have basically returned to our hometown once a month.
After my father passed away, my mother lived with us for 20 years, and in March this year, my mother also left. Nowadays, I, who are far away in Zhuzhou, often look up at the starry sky, often look up at them, and think of them.
leisurely wandering Yun: People in central Hunan have successively ate in Shuangfeng and Zhuzhou. Although he is confined to the world, he is thought of leisurely in his heart. I hope to use the fresh wind to dance in the sky, and achieve leisurely states and enjoy joy.
