Crying He: Hello.
Let’s talk to you about my own story in the early autumn wind.
1
is about to enter the age of forty years , 40 years old, it should be the age of calmness, but my mentality is far inferior to that of previous years. In recent years, I have developed too much confusion and confusion because of life.
When I grew up in a third- and fourth-tier city, I entered society as soon as I graduated from college and stayed in this quasi-first-tier city naturally.
In college, most of the things I think about are how to get the scholarship and how to learn more professional knowledge. Therefore, I have never been in love and am considered a female academic master.
In 2015, I joined a large company with good salary and worked in this company for two years. During this period, because of changes in my business, my parents did not have the heart to care about my love affairs. I fell in love with my passion and courage to love and hate. My first boyfriend was a doctor. I thought I was in love and marriage, but he just wanted to play with me. In less than half a year, my doctor's boyfriend broke up, and my virginity was also given to him in the year of love.
This time it may be a real and substantial first love, so I was in pain. In order to get rid of the pain as soon as possible, I registered a marriage and love platform, recharged and became a senior member, and met my current husband.
At that time, my husband worked in a foreign company and was an engineering student who could speak English. He was handsome and steady on the outside. I'll take the initiative and we'll fall in love soon. It was sweet and happy to be together. After we were together, I realized that his father used public office to abuse his private rights and was imprisoned for 7 years. His mother had no job and a young citizen living in a provincial capital city. Their family had a weak relationship. After we met, his parents divorced. Real estate division had nothing to do with him.
Some people say that children born in such families are also weak in feelings, and I don’t believe it. I think I live with him, not with his family, it’s enough for us to be loving.
During the relationship, I had a miscarriage twice because of accidental care. I decided that this should be the one who will be the one for the rest of my life. If you love someone, you will give your whole heart and sincerely exchange for sincerity.
2007 I left my first company and started my own company with my colleagues. My life is lukewarm.
My husband and I jointly collected the down payment for the house in 2010 and finally got married. In 2012, I gave birth to a child because of his bad family. His mother wanted to remarry and was unwilling to show us the children. I didn’t want to give up my career. My parents have been helping me take care of the children.
Shortly after giving birth to the first child, my husband resigned and started his entrepreneurial path. I didn’t interfere much, and the main thing is to support it.
In 2016, I gave birth to my second daughter.
Because I had two children, I felt a lot of pressure. In addition, there were many problems and conflicts in starting a company with my friends. So after I got 800,000 yuan from my partner, I decided to work with my husband in the husband-wife company. I still do my job in my major (I originally wanted him to share half of my equity in the company he established, but he disagreed. I was really disgusted with his behavior at the time and registered my own new company)
Another key point is that at this time, we had a divorce in order to buy a second house, and we remarried after buying the house. We both hold two companies in our hands, from borrowing other people's offices to now have 400 square meters of office buildings, with a scale of nearly 20 people, I am already very satisfied.
2
But after he got rich, he gradually changed and became very restless, eating, drinking, betting, and gambling, especially when he was drunk, he often stayed at night. has fought and made trouble, but it has become worse without repentance.
The most fuss was in 2020 because I didn’t go home at night and there were kiss marks on my neck. After I checked it, I found out that I was looking for my little sister from time to time. At that time, I was determined to divorce, and maybe I still had love, but I was unable to give up.
I have been psychologically escorted and slowly adjust myself.
During this adjustment process, I got together with a male friend whom I had been with for a long time. He was one year younger than me, very simple and very family-oriented, and my wife is a full-time housewife.
I didn’t expect that after my husband cheated and hurt me hard, I also cheated.
In order to be more with men outside of marriage, his social security was transferred to my company. He also helped each other a lot because of his peers at work, and he often interacted with each other because of projects.
I can chat and ask good night every day, and I can be together three or four times a month. His company provides me with high emotional value and unprecedented satisfaction in sexual matters.
I was very happy in the year or two together. Our relationship should have passed the passionate period. Maybe we can see a better self from each other. The current emotions are stable. Sometimes I have thought about whether we can have the opportunity to be with us until we grow old, but it is only limited to thinking.
Out of marriage, his wife is very strict. During the epidemic, my business is difficult. He lent me 100,000 yuan on his back for two months, and I paid back the money. However, after his wife found out, she still had a very unpleasant quarrel.
He loves his daughter very much and loves his family very much, so I want to go as far as I can without affecting the stability of other people's family.
In the past two years of cheating, I didn’t pay much attention to my husband anymore, and my attention was shifted from , but my husband’s behavior was getting worse and worse. My children rarely care about their life and study. In the past, they went home in the middle of the night after drinking, but now they don’t go home anymore, and they don’t go home at night, causing trouble when they are drunk.
In addition to not loving to go home, his temper towards me is getting worse and worse. He gets angry with me every time he talks. He thinks he wants to be in the circle and connect with others, but the world is seen. How can he achieve something without improving himself?
I am very desperate, and my husband's bad habits seem to be difficult to change.
3
I calmed down and found that on the surface we all played with each other, and it seemed calm, but the marriage was already full of holes. My cheating, his promiscuousness, and ultimately hurt our fragile marriage.
I filed for divorce many times, but he refused and refused to shirked everything. Either I asked me to sue or he had to consider it. I used all the soft and hard things. Every time I chatted, I ended up with my influence on his career development.
However, the focus of is that the employees’ salary and rent expenses of our company are maintained by my company’s income. The salary of 20 people, the rent of 400 square meters of office buildings, water and electricity, first-tier cities, think about how much money is this monthly?
His company always wants to wait for big projects, but big projects cannot be completed. I understand that he is under a lot of pressure and wants to make a promising career, but I don’t understand that he is ambitious and candid.
He chatted on various social software and asked about the cause of an internet celebrity.
He said that he is investing in projects again this year, but I have to pay back the debts for him in the past two months. I have also consulted a lawyer and thought about the worst plan. I have never taken this step to divorce for the sake of my child.
I have also played with extramarital relationships. Now I feel very illusory, like a dream, but it actually doesn't help my life at all, except to get some anesthesia.
Sometimes I really feel pain, what am I nostalgic about? What do I want most now? I asked myself countless times. I want a stable home, I want a husband and wife to work together, run a career and raise children together. Can be with you until old age in the days to come. I am still fighting for it, giving my husband a chance again and again, but he doesn't know how to cherish this home. Do I still need to continue to maintain this home?
is allowed to be public, thank you crying hell.
Reader: Belle
4
Crying He Reply:
Hello, thank you for your trust.
Although poor couples are sad, I found that many couples can actually suffer together but cannot share the same joy.
When there is no money, the couple lives with the same heart. However, after having money, they have a gap between each other, distrust each other, feel that each other is not considerate and gentle enough, and then they start to play with each other.
This is the case with the heroine and husband who wrote to me today.
"A's arsenic, B's peach".
The same thing is arsenic to A, but a peach to B. The sentence
is actually suitable for analyzing the contradictions in marriage.
We often find that a very good and beautiful woman, but her husband is very cold to her, and his eyes are full of his wife's shortcomings. He thinks that his wife is the most annoying and annoying woman in the world. A very honest and reliable husband, but his wife disliked him very much. He was obviously a scumbag outside of marriage, but he flew into the flames.
The couple is too close to each other, and they are together every day, so they can’t see each other’s beauty, and they all see each other’s bad things.
At this time, extramarital affair will appear particularly attractive and beautiful. Because you and someone outside of marriage will not raise children together, nor live together, and will not face cumbersome life contradictions and economic pressures. At the right distance, you will create a fantasy beauty.
So, in the eyes of the heroine, the husband is very bad (of course, I didn’t say that the heroine criticized it wrongly, and the husband is indeed a big problem). In the heart of the heroine, the heroine also made him dislike it.
Therefore, both husband and wife have successively committed love in extramarital relationships, and whether it is prostitution or stealing, they are cheating.
is just that temporary numbness cannot solve the core contradictions and problems of marriage, but only cover up and delay the problem.
So, I don’t advocate any open marriage. "Each plays with each other", the three words sound very free and easy, democratic, advanced and harmonious. In fact, this state will have bigger problems in less than a few years, because human nature is selfish. Even if you go out to play, one side will feel that he has played less and is not fancy enough. At the same time, everyone plays their own things, and what is ultimately hurting is this marriage, this family, and the young children in this family.
5
The heroine is an excellent woman with a good education and can make money. In fact, she knows how to reflect, otherwise she would not have come to this letter.
I have two suggestions -
1. If both husband and wife lose trust, if the heroine is too disappointed with her husband, then divorce. It’s just that I have 2 children and have so many company assets, divorce is not easy.
The heroine thinks that the company is getting up because of herself. I want to be fair. People always exaggerate their role and downplay the other party's efforts. This is why a partnership often ends up in a terrible situation, and husband and wife are no exception. You think the company is all because of you. In fact, I believe that your husband has also put in a lot of effort. I said this because I think that if you really want to divorce, then try to be half of your property, so that you may fulfill your wish to divorce.
After all, you filed for divorce, wanted to divorce, and hoped that the other party would have less money. Such a beautiful thing will definitely not be reached. You can make money again. It is a big deal to get married and divorce well.
2. If you don’t divorce. Then, you and your husband must have a clear distribution and responsibility for the company's income, expenditure, and share, and you cannot be confused. This is not conducive to the relationship between you and the management of your family.
Regardless of whether you divorce or not, it is recommended to stop each person's marriage status, which is very distorted.
Good luck.
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