When I was ten years old, I had my third surgery.
lying on the bed, my right leg was wrapped in thick bandages, like an obese chicken leg mushroom . The pain came in waves, almost making me faint.
My mother used a tissue to help me sweat while saying, "Xue'er, cry if it hurts, it's even more uncomfortable to hold it in!"
I shook my head because I know that crying is useless, it will only make me feel more painful! My mother had told me a long time ago that crying is the most unreliable manifestation.
However, I felt inexplicably uncomfortable when I saw the young lady in the bed next door, being cared for by her parents.
I said, "Mom, I don't cry, will my dad come to see me?"
My mom's hand that helped me wipe my sweat trembled slightly. She said, " Titanic lacks sailors. Your dad was summoned and will not come back for a while."
I said where is the Titanic? When will my dad come back? My mother didn't answer me and changed the subject.
At that time, I didn't know how my father, who asked me to ride on his neck to play, would abandon us mother and daughter.
My mother used to be a goddess that everyone admires. She has a baby face and a pair of big eyes. She is the substitute teacher in our village, and my father is a small employee. Although their income is not high, it is also enviable in the countryside.
My arrival also prompted my mother to be demoted from a respected female husband to a diligent and hardworking nurse in an instant.
But she was happy and gave herself the title of "Happy Woman". She said that she would divide her good luck in life into two, half for her father and half for me.
My father and I are happy, and she is also happy. One plus one equals three, it’s really profitable! My mother was as happy as a squirrel, circling around her pine cones .
Until when I was five years old, my mother found that my right leg could not be used, half of my body was not under control, and she only used one hand no matter what she did, she would shuffle her feet when walking, and she would easily fall.
My parents took me to the hospital for examination, but they were unable to confirm the reason. My condition became more and more serious. In the end, my right leg was so painful that I couldn't walk anymore. I could only take a wheelchair, and my language function began to decline.
The little savings at home are spent on travel expenses and high examination fees. Unfortunately, the condition is still not confirmed. Grandpa and grandma dislike me as a girl, not to mention that I am sick.
They are determined not to take me to treat me everywhere. In their words, it is better to give birth to another girl than to empty my family's fortunes, let alone my father is a single-handed person for three generations.
But at that time, the second child policy was not relaxed, and my dad was in a public office, so my grandparents meant to give me away.
That day, while my mother was not at home, my grandparents filled me with two large bags of toys and clothes, and they said they would take me to visit relatives.
An ominous premonition surged into my heart. I grabbed the door frame tightly, cried and refused to leave the house. When my grandfather forced my hand to open and was pushed out by them, I ran into my mother head-on.
I cried and shouted, "Mom, I won't leave, don't send me away!"
My mother met my eyes and was stunned for a while. She threw the vegetable basket in her hand and ran towards me like crazy.
I have never seen my mother get so angry. She snatched my grandma and pushed my wheelchair, and my grandma almost fell down with a staggering look.
My mother almost yelled: "I find out again that you did this to my Xueer, and I will kill you!"
Grandparents were afraid that my mother's reaction was so fierce. For a long time, they did not dare to mention giving me away.Soon, they turned their target to my dad again, and they forced my dad and my mom to divorce.
My mother thought that her husband who loves her deeply would definitely stand on her side.
But there is no. My dad said that grandparents forced themselves to die, and he could not watch his parents die in front of him. Besides, he didn't want to live a life of storm execution. He advised my mom or follow his grandparents' wishes.
We have a distant relative, and the couple is in their forties and have no children. They even want children to be crazy. My dad said he would give me to them, and if my mom misses me in the future, he could still see me!
My mother sneered and said, "Divorce, give me 30,000 yuan, Xue'er, I'll raise Xue'er, and from now on, Xue'er and your Wang family will be cleared!"
My mother temporarily lives in my aunt's house in the county town with the tens of thousands of yuan she received after the divorce. It was probably at that time that my mother began to learn how to drink alcohol. She liked to drink the spicyest Lao Bai Gan'er, who could drink half a pound at a time.
I don’t know why my mother has such a big alcohol tolerance. No matter how she drinks, she won’t get drunk. After drinking, my mother would hold me and recite the sentence from Mencius : Therefore, when God is about to give a great responsibility to this person, he must first suffer his mind and mind, and to work hard...
Not long after he moved into my aunt's house, my mother took me to the road of seeking medical treatment.
In that era when mobile phones were not popular, the Internet was not popular, and there was no high-speed rail, a young woman lost her family, lover, job, future, hobbies, and friends because of her sick child.
only devotes one mind to the sick child, with the determination to be immortal until the Yellow River and the courage to not hit the wall and not look back. I think this is perhaps the craziest thing my mother has ever done in her life, so she can keep me and raise me.
In order to save money, I don’t go to hotels and to facilitate registration the next day, my mother took me to sleep on a chair in the hospital lobby at night.
How can the wind blow people's bones to crack in the warm and cold night. My mother wrapped me with a small quilt and hugged me tightly in her arms.
There were too many people spending the night in the hospital hall. That night, the hospital started to drive people away. My mother hugged me and went to the door with those people, but the security guard also did not allow us to sleep at the door. She was helpless, so my mother had to carry me to the side of the road.
But the weather is not good. In the middle of the night, the thunder roared and it started raining. There was no place to shelter from the rain around. My mother groped for a long time and found an umbrella from her bag. She held me with one hand and held the umbrella with the other.
I curled up in her arms, feeling the body temperature my mother brought me. Her body was shaking slightly, but she still held me in her arms with all her strength. We have experienced many days like
, but we feel used to it.
My mother took me to many places and was diagnosed in a hospital in Beijing. It was not a leg problem, but a spinal problem, and congenital dysplasia. The doctor said that it is very likely that it will become cerebral palsy if it is not treated in time.
The only treatment method is for surgery, but there are more than one operation, and the operation is expensive and cannot guarantee 100% recovery.
In order to facilitate my treatment, my mother simply rented a small garage of five square meters near the hospital where she was about to undergo surgery. The house was wet and dark, and there was not even a bed. My mother picked up the wooden boards thrown away by others from outside, and one by one was a simple wooden bed.
The first surgery, my mother specially bought me a set of red princess dresses, tied me a beautiful little braid, and then used rubber bands to tie the little braids into a flower, with a bow tied on it.
That day, my mother also put on light makeup and applied lipstick on herself. She hugged me and said, "Xue'er, the operation may be very painful, but it is also a new beginning for us. Just like the silkworm pupa molting, you have to fade away by yourself bit by bit before you become a beautiful little princess."
Mom asked me if I was afraid? I was so scared that I was trembling, but I still shook my head and said I was not afraid. Because I want to make my mom happy.
It was particularly cold that winter, and the snowflakes outside began to fall, and a thick layer of them accumulated on the ground. I just finished the operation, my legs hurt and my whole body was trembling, and my teeth were chewing, but I just didn't let the tears flow down.
My mother wrapped me with a thick quilt and moved me to the door.
She said: "Xue'er, do you see the beautiful snowflakes outside? Do you know why my mother named you Xue'er? Because in my mother's heart, snow is the essence of the earth.
"It is different from rain, rain is transparent and colorless. Even if it lands, it is covered in mud, and sometimes it keeps falling, making people feel annoying.
"Which snow is different, even if the snow falls to the ground, it will remain pure and flawless. Even if it turns into water, it will condense into transparent and clear ice. So, mom hopes that you will be a piece of snow to keep your clean and strong heart."
I nodded and shook my head.
In order to take care of me, my mother couldn't do nine to five in the morning, but she still took the time to take on some part-time jobs. Three months after the operation, she began to massage me as per the doctor's instructions.
I don’t know why my mother always wears thick gloves when she massages me.
That day, I saw my aunt smearing something on my mother's hands with a cotton swab. She said while applying, "Sister, is it done by you, a woman? If this continues, your hands will be useless. You are not allowed to go tomorrow!"
Only then did I realize that my mother's hands were covered with cracks of all sizes, and some places had begun to suppurate. What my mother calls part-time job is the dirtiest and tiring porter.
My mother shook her head: "Only this job comes with a lot of money and quickness, and is free, don't worry, it will be fine when I exercise."
Eight years old, I don't know how much my mother has paid for me. But I know that it was me who turned her from a beautiful and delicate teacher to a strong tomboy. She gained weight so much, from the beginning, she struggled to carry me upstairs and downstairs, her feet seemed to be in the wind.
When I was nine years old, my mother sent me to school. I am as happy as a bird. But soon I realized that I was different from others.
Because my brain reacts slowly, I can’t understand the lessons taught by the teacher and can’t do my homework. My homework is often torn off, and there is soy milk poured in my schoolbag.
Once, I heard several classmates whispering. They covered their mouths and glanced at me and said, "Look at her, walking like a duck, doing things like a snail, being as stupid as a pig. I really don't understand why the teacher let her into our class, it's so embarrassing!"
Listening to their words, I cried, crying very sadly. When I had the surgery, it hurt so much that I didn't cry. Since I got sick, my mom has protected me so well. Apart from the pain in my body, I cannot bear any harm from the outside world. The xenophobia of my classmates makes me feel that I am different from others.
When I got home from school, I asked my mother why others refused to pay attention to me, is it because I am different from others.
"You are different from others!" My mother looked at me and said seriously, "Xue'er, you are the only baby of my mother. You were specially given to me by God. You have a different mission from others, so you are also different from others."
My grades were poor, so my mother could only help me tutor again, and talk about what I had taught in class again. I would not just have one question for homework, and I had to continue to do massage after finishing my homework. When I was in the first or two, I had to toss until eleven or twelve o'clock every day before going to bed.
Just like that, I stumbled all the way, but my homework didn't drop too much.
Later, with the help of my aunt, my mother opened a breakfast shop, and the sihe noodles scones were my mother The unique skill. There are many people coming to eat breakfast, and my mother's business is getting better and better day by day.
And our journey to seek medical treatment has never stopped. My mother spent all the money earned in the breakfast shop to treat me. Our life is very difficult, but my mother can always make our lives poetic.
There is always a bunch of green plants on my desk. Every morning I wake up in the melodious light music.
Before entering junior high school , I had the fifth operation, and it was the last operation. The doctor said it was very successful. Although I could still stand on tiptoe while walking, and although I still didn't speak clearly, it was much better than expected.
Junior high school, I started to live in the school, and we went home once a month. My mother would come to see me every week. Maybe she is old and gradually becomes empathetic. The thing that is excluded by her classmates in elementary school has never happened again.
My popularity in school is surprisingly good. I Before my mother entered the school gate, several classmates had already run to me and told me excitedly: "Liu Xue, Auntie is here..." While I was talking, my mother would be surrounded by several classmates and walked into the dormitory. My mother had a few strands of white hair on her head, and the wrinkles became deeper. The only thing that remained unchanged was that there was always a kind smile on her face.
My mother laughed, while taking out the scones she made and snacks for everyone to eat, and said, "Don't squeeze, don't squeeze, children, all you have to do. "
We were eating the snacks she brought, watching my mother tidy up each of our beds, her clothes were hung up, her shoes were arranged in a row, and all the messy things on the table were neatly tidied.
Every classmate's belly was edible, and my mother was very satisfied. Before leaving school, she also reminded me over and over again that if I had the chance, I would like to take care of her. Go home.
All the classmates said that my mother is the most enthusiastic person. I asked her why she is so good to my classmates.
She said: "I'm afraid they don't want to play with you. I want to protect you forever, but the little birds must try to fly far. In the cold world outside of their wings, I hope someone will like you and be nice to you, so I'm willing to love them as much as I love you. "
My world is peaceful, I have many friends, and my grades are also very good. I have never given up on myself because I am different from others. Because in my mother's dictionary, there is no: sadness, darkness, disappointment, only: happiness, sunshine and hope!
A few years later, I was admitted to the university of my dreams. Looking at my mother with silver hair, my eyes were astringent.
My mother has also aged. She is no longer the one who runs upstairs and downstairs on my back, nor is she the one who has two bags of cement at one time.
I stroked the wrinkles on my mother's forehead. "Mom, I can support myself. Don't work so hard in the future. You should consider the Uncle Wang introduced to you by my aunt..."
"Stupid girl, are you still in charge of your mom? Just take good care of yourself, I won’t feel wronged! "My mother said.
At this time, my grandparents found out about our current home from somewhere. When they appeared in front of us tremblingly, I saw a stiff expression on my mother's face.
She didn't say anything and signaled me to take them into the house. Grandpa and grandma apologized to my mother with tears and tears, saying that it was their fault at the beginning.
It turned out that my dad left us mother and daughter and remarried soon after. When he was on a honeymoon with his newlywed wife, the ship he was riding in was in an accident and both drowned. My mother had known about this for a long time and was afraid that I would be sad, so she never told me.
For the father's affairs, my grandparents almost lost half of their lives. In this world, I became their only relative. They wanted to kneel down to apologize to my mother, saying that they were obsessed with it at that time, and the ones they were most sorry for were me and my mother.
When they took out a bank card from their pockets tremblingly and wanted to hand it to my mother, my mother waved her hand.
"You are Xue'er's grandparents. Whether she recognizes you or not is her business. She has grown up and I have no right to interfere with her freedom. As for me, we have no relationship since the moment Xue'er's father divorced."
After saying this, my mother patted my shoulder and walked out. I knew that the moment my mother signaled me to bring my grandparents into the house, she had already let go.
As for me, even if I don’t completely forgive them, I may not have too much hatred. What do two old men over 80 hate?
What's more, although my mother and I have been suffering and tired over the years, we have always lived a happy life. This is exactly the same as the saying: Happiness is not a reward, but a result; suffering is not a punishment, but a retribution.
The night before school started, my mother pulled me away and started drinking, but my mother, who had never been drunk, was already drunk after half a cup. Her face turned red, she held my hand and said, "Xue'er, Mom is worth it in this life!"
My hand holding the chopsticks was trembling a little, but I still couldn't help it, and tears fell down.
I remembered the words my mother often said: The greatest happiness is to live with the person I love! Only by being with the person you love can you be happy!
And my happiness and happiness over the years are also because my mother has always been by my side! The road ahead is still long, I believe that my mother and I will continue to be happy.
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