The reader wrote to me and said: In recent times, my wife has been working overtime frequently, so I can't help but feel suspicious. A few days ago, I got off work early and wanted to go to my wife's office to work: As expected, it was almost time for my wife to get off work, and

The reader wrote to me and said:

In recent times, my wife has been working overtime frequently, so I can't help but feel suspicious. A few days ago, I got off work early and wanted to go to my wife's office to work: As expected, it was almost time for my wife to get off work, and she called and informed me to work overtime. In fact, not long after, her colleagues walked out of the unit. My wife and one of the male colleagues came out the last time. Immediately afterwards, my wife got into her male colleague's car and I took a car and followed closely behind. My wife and her male colleague came to a park.

Call my wife: The meal is ready, what time will you get home? Wife: You don’t have to wait for me to eat, you can eat it yourself. After hanging up the phone, I walked directly to my wife and her colleagues: I heard that I was working overtime in the park for the first time. Then, I turned around and left. My wife caught up and said, "Listen to my explanation." Me: Is there anything you can explain? Unexpectedly, my wife immediately turned around and said: Why should you follow me? Me: Why do you think I followed you?

I didn’t want to argue with my wife in public, so I went home. After my wife followed me, I was just on the way home. There was no communication between us, and after we got home, there was still no communication. Perhaps, all we have to wait for is the only way to divorce.

My wife and I were high school classmates. We were not very familiar with each other at that time and we had no contact during our college years. But after we started working, we had similar jobs and family backgrounds, and we formed a family with the help of our classmates. During the 7 years we lived together, I thought my relationship with my wife was reasonable, and both parties got along well with each other's parents. I really don't understand why my wife betrayed the marriage.

To be honest, I don’t want to face the result of the divorce. The main reason is: I don’t want my children to grow up in divorced families, but I am also a more traditional man. Not only do I not betray my marriage, but even the love cheating is difficult to digest. So, during the post-infidelity period, I prefer to divorce, but I haven't discussed the divorce with my wife yet.

Muzili Emotional analysis:

In a bad marriage relationship, it is full of betrayal, lies, not cherishing, unfilial piety, etc. Perhaps, at the age of marriage, we have not been able to hold hands with the person we love the most. Even if the person who finally joins hands and walks into the siege is within the right category, in the process of running the marriage, we need to uphold the uniqueness of love and ensure loyalty to the marriage. If a relationship is in the category of one's own perception that there is no way to continue, you can only deal with it by divorce, rather than having sex outside of marriage without hiding it from your lover. Judging from your actions of exposing your wife’s date with her colleague, your wife has no plans to divorce. But during the post-infidelity period, she felt a little ashamed and had no choice but to be stubborn, which was to resolve the embarrassment for herself.

However, feelings are a matter between two people, and they need to fulfill each other. They also require that the two parties can reach a consensus on some things, or reach a consensus after discussion. In the post-infidelity period, your wife's attitude: not apologize; your attitude: want to divorce. In this case, perhaps the best result is the divorce. When facing divorce, there will definitely be some reluctance: including your efforts in this relationship, including considering your children's feelings. The key is, when those betrayers of marriage were involved in extramarital affairs, did they not think that cheating was likely to lead to divorce? So, sometimes, don’t punish yourself with other people’s mistakes, everything needs to be followed by your heart.

In fact, many people will unconsciously have psychological gaps before and after marriage. The main reason is: they like to compare their lover's attitude towards you during love and their attitude towards you after marriage.What I want to say is that the relationship between most couples is not as sweet as when they are in love: 1) No relationship can escape the fate of opening high and closing low; 2) There are many favorable elements during love, and I hope that this relationship can be exchanged for the result of holding hands and marriage. After marriage, people hope that the couple can show a fair situation; 3) During love, both parties will make their tolerance show the highest value with the accommodating mentality. After marriage, both parties will hope that everything can be relatively fair with the mentality of longing for the couple platform.

People in the siege may as well think calmly: many behaviors during love cannot constitute a quarrel between two people at all, but after marriage, couples will quarrel over sesame things. In fact, there is a bit of a quarrel between husband and wife, which only shows that the other party has indeed regarded you as his own person. The key is that the effect of harvest is that oneself slowly accumulates disappointment during the process of his marriage. At this time, some people need to ask themselves: Do you have any idea of ​​divorce? If not, please do not get involved in extramarital affair. After all, extramarital affair cannot truly vent your dissatisfaction with your marriage. It will only make your husband and wife's relationship worse after the extramarital affair is discovered by your lover. If your lover insists on divorceing you, it will be a little bit more worthwhile.

Because people have different personalities, people have different attitudes in doing things: some people will immediately write down their unhappiness on their faces when encountering things that make them uncomfortable in their marriage and express their grievances in their hearts directly. Although this kind of person sometimes makes you feel a little bit confused, this kind of person is actually quite easy to communicate with. You only need to take care of his emotions when he is unhappy, and he will be happy in no time. There is another type of person who always appears to be more polite as you on the surface, but he will remember every time you disappoint him. If one day he explodes, your marriage will basically end. To deal with this group of people, the strategy you need to come up with: try to maintain a high degree of self-consciousness in your marriage life.

Don’t say that it is difficult to manage a marriage, it is actually quite simple. The minimum self-requirements that people in the siege should have include: 1) Ensure loyalty to the marriage; 2) Not to be too selfish and double-standard during the marriage. When doing anything, you must take into account your lover’s feelings; 4) Marriage is a life of a partnership, and you must not let yourself be lazy; 5) Although husband and wife are the core of marriage life, other family members of the lover are also part that cannot be ignored, and at least you need to live with other family members of the lover; 6) In the process of managing a marriage, more recognition of your lover and less provocative.

Postscript:

Many people will say this when lamenting marriage: I am just a simple person. I want to have a simple marriage, but I find it a bit luxurious. Because there are always people who cast a shadow on their married life with extramarital affair, selfish double standards, lazy food, and conflicts with their lovers and parents. What I want to say is that the relationship between husband and wife is also relatively fragile. If some small links are repeated continuously, it is very likely that the relationship between husband and wife will become weaker.

This life of a person is actually a process of continuous self-correction. When you are relatively excellent at most levels, you will naturally improve your charm value. Do you think that if you are excellent enough, your partner will leave you? Sometimes when facing betrayal from your lover, you can also have such self-stimulation: in your future life, you will have room to become better.

(The picture is from the Internet, the picture is irrelevant)