One day in my second year of high school, my mother suddenly went crazy.
Diagnosis results: It is said to have schizophrenia .
Doctor said that this mental illness cannot be cured and can only be maintained by taking medicine.
I crashed at that time.
I asked the doctor, "My mother was fine when we left, how could this happen in just two days? My grandma's house has absolutely no genetic history."
said, "She must have been stimulated by accident. Go back and ask."
01.
asked my dad, my dad was stretched out his face and said nothing.
After my mother's condition stabilized, she told her family intermittently that after my grandfather and I left, my dad bought her a lot of delicious food, including chicken gizzard , and elbow meat. They also drank alcohol.
When drinking, my dad said, "Let's get divorced." My mom couldn't tell what happened later.
My parents have a bad relationship, I know this.
I slept with them on a kang for 18 years, and they had almost zero communication.
When talking, it is quarrel. Quarrels often escalate into fights, and my mother always gets beaten.
My father is the son of the top leader of a reservoir, and my mother is the daughter of the director of the oil rice factory. She has a good match and has once made many peers envious.
A few years after getting married, my mother was laid off.
In a few years, my dad will be laid off.
My mother did a small business and later took care of her grandparents at home.
My dad works, his salary is not much, and my grandfather always takes my tuition.
After my mother got sick, our family of three moved out of my grandfather’s house.
My mother must take medicine on time, but she refused to take medicine or got away with it. I tried various ways to let her take the medicine.
In this situation at home, I couldn’t study at all. I failed the college entrance examination in the first year, and I missed a point in the second year. Later, I was reduced to the level and supplementary enrollment, and I entered Suihua College .
02.
2012 The seventh day of the first lunar month On the evening of the night, my father said to me, "In two days, I will be divorcing your mother."
I knew that this day will come sooner or later, and I said nothing, but I thought to myself: I have four months left to graduate and are writing my graduation thesis. Can't you wait for me for three or four months?
Dad said, "I have paid your mother's pension insurance. When I reach the retirement age, I can get my monthly pension."
I understand him very well. After my mother got sick, she often "works" and screamed in the middle of the night and defecated in the kitchen. Who can bear it?
Dad said, "I don't care about her anymore, don't worry about it. If you care, she will drag you down for the rest of your life."
I still didn't say anything. I want to know that we don’t care, who he is going to let him care.
But he lowered his head and said nothing, sighed and went back to their room.
On the tenth day of the first lunar month, I followed them to the Civil Affairs Bureau, and many people were queuing up.
My mother knew they were going to divorce, and her eyes were straight, but she became even more straight that day, and her face was full of unhappiness.
When it was our turn, someone asked, "Do you both agree to divorce?"
Dad said immediately, "Agree."
Mom also said, "Agree."
People asked, "Are there any property to be divided?"
Dad said, "No."
People asked, "Are your children adults?"
Dad said, "Are you adults?"
The whole divorce process was very simple. I accompanied them throughout the process and didn't say a word.
No one mentioned my mother's illness. I didn't know at the time that my father could not divorce at all under this situation.
waited for them to sign the divorce agreement , and my father seemed to be relieved and rushed to the door to stop the car. We took a taxi home.
They have no property to be divided. Bungalow Real estate certificate is grandfather's name, and the rest are a few home appliances.
My mother and I slept in that house for the last night. The next day I hired a donkey cart, put it on a bedding, put it on a TV and washing machine. My mother and I sat in the tall donkey cart and left the house, and I never looked back.
03.
Grandma was quite happy, she didn't have to worry about my mother being beaten anymore.
My graduation thesis was written in a mess, but fortunately my instructor made detailed modifications.
I only thought of one thing at that time: I want to make money to support my mother.
I have never been to Shandong, and it was a surprise to stay here. After graduating from
, I worked in Harbin for a while, and then the company went bad.
The eldest sister in our dormitory is from Shandong, she is very simple and kind. She said, "Come to me and have a look."
I bought a ticket and went there.
On the street, I saw someone wearing cloth shoes, which were purely handmade cloth shoes. I felt that the people here were as simple as my elder sister and her family, so I decided to stay here.
At that time, my mother's illness was very serious. I wanted to take her to treat her and she had to get a high salary.
04.
Later, I went to a nightclub to work as a waiter, and my daily salary was 300 yuan.
The waitress at the nightclub is also called "princess". She mainly pours wine, water, helps order songs, and cleans up the hygiene. The ladies in the nightclub are called "Belle", also called "beauty" and "public relations". They mainly drink and sing.
originally said it was fine, and there was a salary for early training, 100 yuan a day. Three months after the nightclub opened, the manager changed a few times, but no one was willing to pay for his wages. More than a dozen of us discussed it and told the manager that we were going to resign.
After a while, a group of people came to the nightclub. The manager met up from afar and called one of the short and thick men "Chairman". He turned around and shouted at us, "Who was going to resign just now? Go to the conference room for a meeting, go immediately!"
originally said he wanted to resign, but depending on the situation was not good, no one dared to move forward.
I am older than them and are at the forefront. When we entered the conference room, someone locked the door.
The chairman shouted at me "Wow," probably a big scolding. I heard "mother", "grandma", etc., but I couldn't understand anything else.
doesn't understand, it means I didn't scold me. Thinking of this, I just looked at him and smiled.
had enough scolding, and he asked, "Who took the lead in resigning today? Why did you resign? To be honest, there are rewards. Whoever lied today, I will let him die in this room!"
A little girl cried "Wow" and said while crying, "I don't know! I don't know anything!"
I said, "Chairman, no one took the lead in today's affairs. When we came to apply for the job, the company said that training also had a salary, 100 yuan a day. We have asked for this money many times, We just wanted to resign. "The chairman of
asked, "Is that true?"
A waiter said, "That's right, the nightclub opened for three months, and the training fee was owed for three months."
Chairman is a blushing man, and his face turned even more red this time. He said, "I'm sorry, it's because my quality is too poor. You go back to work first, and the training fee will be paid tomorrow." He also instructed his subordinates to get the money and give me, the waiter, and the scared little girl each to cry 500 yuan.
Since then, the chairman has remembered me. Every time someone with a strong reputation comes to a nightclub, he will call me to go over and serve me.
05.
Once, a man drank a lot of wine and touched the beauties who accompanied him.
I really couldn't stand it, so I brought a glass of wine and walked over and said, "Sir, I'll give you a glass of bar."
The man took the wine glass and threw the wine directly on my face. He threw the wine glass to the ground and walked out of the private room.
I took out a tissue and wiped the wine on my face, and said to other guests, "I'm sorry, I'll pack up right away, please continue singing."
The next day, the manager gave me 500 yuan, saying it was the chairman's reward.
Another time, a beauties got drunk too much. When we got off work, she was already drunk and unconscious.
I asked everyone, "What should I do?"
No one said anything.
I said, "I'll take her to my dormitory."
I don't have much strength, but fortunately my beauty is thin and someone helps open the door.
I carried her downstairs, but I forgot the last step outside the door. I stepped on the empty foot and both of them fell down.
I have a sprained ankle and haven't been to work for half a month. After the injury healed, the chairman invited me to visit his house and he cooked himself. The ones who went with
were all general managers of each branch, and I was just an ordinary employee.
After I worked in a nightclub for a year, he transferred me to my subordinate company for after-sales service. Others only have one day off a week, and if they ask for leave, they will scold me. I am an exception and can ask for leave at any time. He also gave me a two-bedroom staff dormitory, and my mother and I moved in.
is far from the city. In the countryside, my mother is idle and has nothing to do. She opens a piece of land downstairs and grows side dishes every year.
06.
After I took my mother to Shandong, I hope she will forget her past and start a new life.
I make her happy every day. She is indeed much better than before. The frequency of hospitalization is lower than before, almost once a year. She no longer resists the medication and takes it on time every day.
She and my dad spent half their lives and fought for half their lives. After coming to Shandong, I always talked to me about my dad’s good luck.
I bought my mother a cell phone. She found her father’s mobile phone number from somewhere and often called her father.
Dad complained to me, so I reset my mother's mobile phone function, and I could only answer, not call, and even bought a puppy to accompany her at home.
Seeing that my mother was getting better and better in her mental state, I gave her 500 yuan and told her that she could buy what she wanted to eat. Unexpectedly, something unexpected happened.
A few days later, my mother is gone!
No one answered her phone number, no one was there where she often went, she made a lot of calls and posted on WeChat Moments, but there was no message from her.
Although the weather is still warm in October, I think that my mother is wandering on the street at this moment, and I don’t know where I am curled up, so I can’t sleep.
Two days later, I received a call from my aunt saying that my mother had gone home by herself.
I didn't rush to go back and pick her up, thinking that it would be better for her to go back and stay for a while.
Two months later, my aunt told me that my mother was stimulated and fell ill again.
She always goes to the bungalow where my dad lives, and guards the door like a lovely little girl.
Maybe the father went out early and came back late, and the two of them didn't meet.
One day, my father saw her and was scared. The next day he nailed the door and window to death, and the door was locked, and he would not come back to live.
Mom went again and saw the door and window nailed to death. She jumped into the yard, removed the wooden board that nailed the window, smashed the window, pried open the door, and smashed the things in the house.
I took my mother back and sent her to the hospital directly.
hospitalized in another place, and the reimbursement ratio is low. In recent years, the hospitalization expenses that my mother cannot reimburse are about 70,000 to 80,000 yuan.
She is very addicted to smoking and smokes at least one box a day, so she can’t even watch it.
When she is in good spirits, she can cook for me, but my pot burns more than a dozen times every year, and she often forgets when cooking.
For example, in the middle of the night, she was hungry and got up to boil eggs. After eating one, she felt that she was not full, so she continued to cook.
boiled eggs, the gas stove was on, and she went back to the house to sleep.
The eggs were fried in the middle of the night and the lid flew up. It was no longer an accident.
Later I found out that my mother has high blood sugar , and her fasting value is 26 or 7, so she must be hospitalized. I quit my job and took her back to her original home. My grandma has passed away, which is almost a hundred days old.
I didn’t think about leaving her in my hometown.
After my mother was discharged from the hospital, I went to the government department for consultation, and a director asked me, "How old are you this year?"
I said, "30 years old."
He said, "I will show you two ways. One way is to send your mother to a mental hospital directly. You should go when you should. The second way is to separate your household registration from your mother's, so that she will be an insecurity person and has nothing to do with you. We will send her to a mental hospital."
Send her mother to that kind of place and lock her up, and she will be completely finished. I can't bear to leave.
07.
We go to Qiqihar Mental Health Center for mental appraisal.
schizophrenia If it reaches level 2 or above, the government can give some subsidies every month.
Doctor asked, "Do you often get angry? Do you throw things when you are angry?"
Mom said, "I don't get angry often, and I don't throw things when you are angry."
Doctor asked, "You are living in another place with your daughter, can you cook for her?"
Mom said, "Yes, I cook for her every day."
Her performance that day was really unexpected, and the doctor directly wrote "level three" on the form.
left the doctor's office, and I cried loudly. She usually has various "humanities", so why are she performing so well now?
The aunt told me, "It's time to put your mother on a small boat, float wherever you like, don't worry."
I was crying, which made my aunt laugh.
I brought my mother back to Shandong.
Although there are no relatives here, classmates and friends treat me like relatives. When I have something to do, they can help me take care of my mother. The most important thing is that mothers can be less stimulated here.
or above is a self-report from a poor student, excerpted from the new book "The Hard Child I've Teached" by the True Pain
The author has been accompanying her mother to treat her illness. After the situation stabilizes, he also began to plan his own personal affairs. He is happy for her and sincerely wishes her a safe and smooth life.
It is important to get married, and it is also important to accompany your mother. I don’t want to drag others down.
In recent years, my mother has been in a stable condition. She has lived in a nursing apartment for more than four years and has become accustomed to the life there.
I also got married quietly. There was no wedding. My husband was a former colleague and I have known each other for many years.
In May 2020, we had a daughter.
In December 2021, I applied for a substitute teacher for primary school Chinese. I especially like the profession of teacher. I am recently preparing for the exam.
After having a daughter, I want to try my best to control my life. She is growing up every day and I want to be her role model.
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