"Dogged to Someone"
The last call I made before I died was hung up by Pei Jing.
He is hugging another woman, caring for her like a pearl and treasure.
The woman had a pregnant belly, and my mother-in-law called out "heart" and put a bracelet from her hand on her.
Pei Jing looked at her, his eyes filled with tenderness and pampering.
What a warm and affectionate picture.
Fortunately, their happiness is about to be broken.
Because of my death, it will be heard soon.
article comes from Zhihu
1
1
I floated in the air and saw my body curled up on the snow in the courtyard. I confirmed something - I am dead.
Maybe the soul will take a few days to disperse.
I comfort myself.
The phone on the ground flashed a few times, and it was Pei Jing who called it.
To be precise, it was his call back.
phone flashes until it shuts down due to low temperature protection.
A Jing, it's too late to call back now. I can't get
.
2
Originally I planned to die quietly.
But at that time, the snow was falling too gently, and the creaking of the swing was too similar to the sound of Pei Jing pushing me high when he was a child.
I suddenly wanted to say goodbye to him.
He didn't know I had cancer yet.
just called me and was immediately hung up.
I paused and opened Su Ying’s circle of friends.
Sure enough.
She posted another video.
In the villa that Pei Jing bought for her, Pei Jing and his mother surrounded her and held her care.
caption: Help, I'm almost spoiled as a little fool (laughing and crying)
I put down my phone and don't want to see the scene of Pei Jing and others' affection.
A stomach tightened and a severe pain surged again. I fell to the ground and vomited blood. The white snow was dyed red in an instant.
I got up with difficulty and sat back on the swing.
It's true, I'll make things difficult for myself when I die.
Old people, old things, old scenery.
He is now in his arms, so how could he want to see these things that have long gone away?
So in the end, I still didn't say goodbye to him.
3
I looked around this small courtyard full of memories.
is broken and bleak.
Only the cold wind passes through the hall.
Grandpa and grandma have long passed away, Pei Jing and I have moved out of here long ago, and no one has taken care of us.
Except for the swing I was sitting on, the rest of the things were broken, no longer the same as when I was a child.
The scenery is no longer the same as before, and people are no longer the same as before.
I smiled self-deprecatingly.
The swing sways, and in the quiet courtyard, there may be the sound of snow sliding down the pomegranate tree.
I heard my grandmother greeting lovingly: "Xiao Dong'er, Xiao Jing, come and have a roasted glutinous rice cake."
On the fire, the snow-white glutinous rice cake was roasted fragrantly and softly. Pei Jing broke off a piece, exhaled so much that he was so hot that he kept dipping a circle of shiny white sugar in a small porcelain bowl and handed it to my mouth.
"Quick, it's the best to eat while it's hot."
glutinous rice cake is so delicious, my eyes are curved with happiness.
Pei Jing saw that I was eating happily, and the expectations in his eyes were satisfied. He was happier than eating it himself. He went to break the glutinous rice cake for me with the heat.
Pei Jing was so good at that time. He liked to spoil me the most. Every time he received snacks and toys from his parents, he was the first to send them to me.
He was holding the snacks and looked arrogant, "Xiao Dong'er smiled for brother, I'll give you one to eat."
I ignored him.
I know that no matter whether I laugh or be angry, he will give it to me in the end.
If you told me at that time, Pei Jing would protect other women in the future and let her slap me hard...
I'm afraid I'll scold you for being crazy.
4
Pei Jing's parents are busy with work, and my parents are busy with divorce. So we all became left-behind children and lived in grandparents' houses.
But because of the other party, we are not lonely at all.
Let’s deal with those bad kids who call us “wild kids” together, do their homework after school, do their sleep on the desk together, and then be woken up by grandpa one by one.
In the winter of my ten years old, I suddenly had a high fever at night due to chickenpox. It happened that the elderly in the village went to attend the ancestral festival, and only Pei Jing was with me at my house.
Pei Jing ignored the risk of infection and carried me to the town hospital in the middle of the night in the wind and snow.
I was so burned that I was so tired that I was lying on his back that I felt so uncomfortable.
He has been coaxing me.
"Don't be afraid Xiaodong'er, I'll be at the hospital soon. I won't feel uncomfortable after taking medicine at the hospital..."
At that time, he was only twelve years old. The boy's back was still very thin, but he gritted his teeth and carried me for a few kilometers. He held my arm without loosening.
There is endless desolate snow around me. I hugged his neck and listened to his voice, and felt extremely at ease.
So please forgive me. Later, no matter how he hurt me, I couldn't let go and leave freely.
5
for several days, my body is still sleeping quietly in the snow.
I thought sadly, if I were accidentally seen, it would definitely scare people.
Alas, I thought that everything would disappear after death, but I really never thought that I would still have to worry about my funeral.
I decided to go find Pei Jing to see if I could tell him about my death with a dream.
Maybe after the burial is enclosed, my soul will disappear.
There is no way, and I have no one to look for it.
At least his name is on the same marriage certificate as me. Thank you, Mr. Pei, who has come to collect a body for me, isn't it too much.
Before leaving, I took a look at the snow again.
When she was fifteen years old, Pei Jing confessed to me here.
He knocked on my window on a snowy night and said mysteriously that he wanted to show me something.
As soon as I walked out in my pajamas, Pei Jing wrapped it in a warm coat, and then carefully led me to the snow.
In the middle of the courtyard, there is a huge love printed with footprints, neatly and perfectly.
The snow reflects the moonlight, bright and soft.
At that time, Pei Jing had grown into a handsome young man.
He blushed and wanted to speak but stopped.
It was not until I was yawning and wanted to go back to sleep that Pei Jing became anxious and said, "Lin Mudong, I like you!"
I was spoiled by him at that time, and raised my chin arrogantly, "You have to tell me this little thing?"
Pei Jing was stunned for a few seconds, and tickled me with anger and smile.
I laughed in a panic and responded to him intermittently.
"I like you too, A Jing."
I still remember what Pei Jing looked like at that time.
He was happy and restrained, only knowing to hold my hand, his eyes were bright, looking at me without a moment, as if he wanted to remember this moment in his heart.
Snowflakes slowly fall like fireworks, falling on his fine hair and slender eyelashes. The boy's eyes were full of light, and he could only fill the next me.
For us at that time, that feeling was tacit, and we really didn't need to say it out loud.
6
I floated back to my home and Pei Jing.
I just didn’t expect that Su Ying was there too.
Pei Jing looked a little annoyed, walked around the room, and finally stopped on the balcony and lit a cigarette. In the misty smoke, he couldn't see his expression clearly.
Su Ying was the first time she entered our house. She looked around curiously at the photos on the wall, the coasters on the dining table, and the blanket on the sofa.
She took out a round of white disc from my refrigerator and poked it with a smile.
"Is this plastic? It's hard, why put it in the refrigerator? It's so strange."
Pei Jing turned around: "That's glutinous rice cake. It will become very soft after baking it, wait--"
But it was too late, and Su Ying had thrown it into the trash can.
"bang".
I clenched my fists.
After knowing that I was dead, Su Ying came into my house in a grand manner and flipped through my things. I should have burned it and left!
Su Ying stuck out her tongue embarrassedly: "Ah, my hand is too fast. A Jing, don't blame me, okay?"
Pei Jing looked at the glutinous rice cake lying in the trash can and was silent for a moment.
"Forget it, it's not worth it. I'll buy it myself when Mu Dong comes back.”
Su Ying has innocent eyes, and she is soft and cute when she acts coquettishly. Shaking Pei Jing’s arms is always easy to make people feel soft.
The last time I heard her act like this, she called "Mr. Pei".
7
At that time, Pei Jing was already a well-known law firm partner and was still very busy. I didn’t change my habit of delivering food to him.
That day, he was having a meeting, so I put down the insulation bucket and left. When I went out, I found that the car keys fell in the law firm, so I went back to get them.
They didn't know when they had a breakup. Outside Pei Jing's office, I heard the girl complaining sweetly:
"Why are you always these dishes? If you are tired of eating them, won't she change to other recipes?"
I suddenly pushed open the door.
Pei Jing and Su Ying sat at the desk, sharing, picking on the dinner I carefully prepared for him.
My tone was a little stiff:
"A Jing stayed up too late, this is a special diet therapy recipe for him. I didn't make a special preparation for Assistant Su, I'm sorry."
Su Ying stuck out her tongue and looked at Pei Jing with a pitiful look.
"Sorry, Mr. Pei, I will never be picky about food again."
Pei Jing did not realize something was wrong, and he pointed Su Ying's head a little disgusted.
"Mid winter is steady and sensible, so that you won't care about this little thing. You think you are as naive as you."
8
is not like this.
Pei Jing never wanted me to be sensible.
From childhood to the beginning of love, from old houses and courtyards to bustling cities, he always said that Xiao Dong'er was carefree and happy, and he had everything.
Until I was seventeen years old.
That year, Pei Jing's family suddenly changed. His father jumped off the building due to a business failure, and his mother cried all day long.
Reality suddenly interrupted the romance and ignorance of youth. Pei Jing started to work a few jobs, and the financial and spiritual burdens made him breathless.
A rare meeting, he couldn't hide his fatigue and forced a smile.
"Xiao Dong'er is going to be a little more obedient now. I'm not by your side, I have to take good care of myself."
I feel sorry for him and think that it's time for me to treat him well.
So, I don’t want him to prepare surprises for me, don’t want him to call me to get up in the morning, don’t want him to take the bus so far to celebrate my birthday, don’t want him to give so much for me.
In order to help him pay the bill, I also worked two jobs.
I knew he would not accept it, so he secretly transferred his salary and saved living expenses to his mother every month, leaving only a little bit of it myself, relying on steamed buns, vegetables and free soup to live, and dreaming of braised pork.
I remember that the job in the milk tea shop was very late after get off work. I was followed on the way back. I ran to the dormitory before crying with my beating heart. I didn't notice it even if I sprained my ankle. I lame myself for several months. I didn't tell him any of these
.
But Pei Jing was still very guilty and always said sorry, so he let Xiao Dong'er suffer with me.
I said it doesn’t matter A Jing, his life is long, you will be nice to me in the future.
Pei Jing's eyes were red, and he put my hands in my heart and rubbed them again and again.
"Down winter, never leave me, okay? I will be nice to you all my life, I will."
When he said this, his expression was so serious that he was almost paranoid.
I have to believe it.
Why would I not believe it?
9
0 It is a lifetime.
Results In just ten years, it has been turned upside down and changed.
He gave all his pampering and love to me when he was young to another arrogant and smiling girl.
I should have felt it long ago.
He no longer calls me "Xiao Dong'er" and no longer spends time coaxing me.
When he praised me for being sensible and considerate of him, he actually had regrets in his eyes.
Regret that those innocent and carefree young people have been dim in the tempering of life.
10
In fact, when Su Ying first entered the law firm and they were innocent and did not need to avoid suspicion, Pei Jing mentioned her to me many times.
"A new little girl is coming, she is so ugly. I really can't do anything to her."
He seemed to be worried when he said this, but there was a smile in his eyes.
"Mudong, she is really like you when you were a child, and I can't bear to punish her."
Even so, I didn't doubt him.
until Su Ying crossed the line again and again to challenge him.
When her rental house was out of power, she called Pei Jing crying. She got drunk at the social event and held Pei Jing and refused to let go, forcing Pei Jing to take care of her all night. At the celebration banquet, she boldly applied butter on Pei Jing's face and kissed her, causing her colleagues to rush around...
For her, I quarreled with Pei Jing again and again.
I threatened to divorce and asked Pei Jing to fire Su Ying.
Pei Jing rubbed his eyebrows, his tone of worries:
"Mudong, Su Ying is just childish. You were so naive in the past. You should be able to understand the most. Why can't you tolerate her so much? Dismiss a little girl for such a reason. What will you do in the future if you ask her to do?"
He was deeply disappointed in his eyes, as if he didn't know me anymore.
"Double winter, how could you become so mean?"
11
In the frequent quarrels, our relationship became increasingly stiff.
I started to feel depressed and had insomnia all night.
Every time I feel so tired that I want to leave, the young Pei Jing always appears in my memory.
He stood in the snow with a long body, his palms warm, and his eyes were clean and affectionate when he looked at me.
Is he still A Jing?
How could my A Jing be willing to treat me like this?
I can't live without him, so I have to doubt myself. Is
really suspicious?
Are they innocent?
Should I be more generous?
But no matter how quarrels, Pei Jing refused to divorce, and I couldn't make up my mind, so we just tangled up.
Until midsummer this year, I went to the hospital to get the examination report, and when I came out, I met Pei Jing.
The elevator entrance is crowded. He puts Su Ying's waist with one hand and protects her belly with the other, for fear that others will touch her.
That careful cherishment made my eyes hurt.
I was passing through the crowd, holding the gastric cancer diagnosis certificate, holding the mobile phone that made a busy sound, and under the scorching sun at 40 degrees, no matter how deep I took, my teeth still couldn't stop trembling.
That was the first time I saw them together with my own eyes.
All the self-comfort and luck in mind were smashed to pieces at that moment.
12
The moment Pei Jing saw me, he was left with panic and shock.
I lost my sensibility and understanding over the years, slapped the face I once loved deeply, and asked him with tears:
"Is this what you told me about innocence?"
Before I could ask an answer, Su Ying rushed up and slapped me hard, which made me confused for a few seconds.
She used her petite body to protect Pei Jing fiercely.
"Why do you hit him!"
When I was a child, Pei Jing and I fought many fights.
Everyone knows that it doesn’t matter if you hit Pei Jing, but if you hit me, Pei Jing will definitely fight them like crazy.
I have never been beaten like this before.
I was swept up by anger. When I came to my senses, I was already very indecently fighting with Su Ying.
There are people watching the fun around. Pei Jing wanted to separate us. When he was pulling, Su Ying fell to the ground and cried in pain.
Pei Jing subconsciously pushed me away, and then hid Su Ying tightly behind him.
He said in an impatient tone: "Mid-dong, it's all wrong for me, but Su Ying is pregnant with my child. You will hurt her like this... Stop making trouble, okay?"
My heart seemed to be penetrated by a sharp blade.
Because of that incident, I can no longer get pregnant.
I thought this was a common scar for Pei Jing and I, and I didn’t want to mention it.
It turns out that I was the only one in the same place.
He has his own new world.
There was a colic in the stomach.
The lips were also broken, and the smell of blood was filled with the mouth.
I thought of it in a daze that Pei Jing would feel distressed for a long time when I bit my tongue.
are surrounded by people watching the fun, some are talking about it, and some raise their phones to take pictures.
Su Ying was protected very tightly, and only I stood there without any defense, surrounded by cameras and rumors.
at least can't cry, I think.
I held back my tears.
Don't cry.
Don't add another joke.
Thank God, the hospital security guards came to separate us.
also took me away from the most embarrassing and miserable part of my life.
13
That night, Pei Jing came to me, but I locked it and refused to open the door, so he sat down at the door.
He kept talking through the door, and he ignored me and ignored him.
"Mudong, that child was an accident. I drank too much that day and recognized Su Ying as you."
"She is so similar to you, I can't help but take care of her... But I really don't plan to betray you."
"Just... Su Ying is innocent and a little girl. She is pregnant with my child. If I don't take responsibility, how can she survive..."
"Sorry, Mudong, when the child is born, you can beat me and scold me."
"When the time comes, I will give Su Ying a sum of money to send her abroad. "
"Let's just take it as adopting a child, okay? Then my mother won't force you anymore."
"Mu Dong, I will never divorce you."
"I will make up for you for a lifetime."
"Mu Dong, wait for me."
...
14
Pei Jing comes to me every day, and Su Ying is not a good person. She always makes a big fuss with her.
Maybe it was the last conflict that made him feel scared, for fear that we would take action again.
For the sake of the safe birth of the child, he will no longer come to me.
just sends long messages every day to describe my future life and try to comfort me.
I pulled up all the curtains and hugged alone in the dark room, flipping through Su Ying's circle of friends like self-abuse, watching her show of love for me.
"The legs were cramped in the middle of the night, but fortunately Mr. Pei pinched me all night."
"I bought the limited edition version of Xin Xinniannian! Mr. Pei is so great!"
"Some people, Ke Chang Ke You are full of bad luck, and they wonder why men left? I'm so laughing to death."
...
Pei Jing was still sending me a message attentively.
"Double winter, wait for me."
He is so funny.
He seemed to think he had just run away for a while.
And I will always wait for him wherever. What are you waiting for in
?
Wait for the child to be born, or wait for me to die?
As I am like this, my condition worsened rapidly.
is probably not as good as the full moon wine.
Recall this life.
We have so many wonderful memories.
But the last side of us is that he protects other women and slapped me.
15
I was floating beside Pei Jing for the past few days and couldn't dream, but I saw him looking for me.
He became more and more uneasy, and even Su Ying was not with him. He called my number every day, hoping to hear the sound of the call.
Pei Jing suddenly woke up in the middle of the night.
He murmured, "Mid-dong, Mid-dong...she must have gone back!"
Pei Jing drove overnight, crossed the vast snowfield, walked the path he walked on with me on his back, and finally arrived at the courtyard of his hometown at dawn.
The courtyard was already full of people, talking:
"It's so pitiful, why did you die here alone..."
"You're still young..."
"I vomit so much blood, I guess I'm dying very painful..."
"I'm still holding my phone in my hand, I don't know who I called..."
This story comes from Zhihu "Pampering for Others"
