On the third anniversary, Song Yao was accompanying Bai Yueguang, and I went up the mountain alone to pray for my unborn child.
The road is slippery on the snow, and I fell dying.
Later Song Yao found me, but unfortunately I "lost my memory".
He begged me almost torn apart, trying to remind me of everything, and even moved out of the unborn child.
But from beginning to end, I looked at him with indifferent and distant eyes.
Just like he treated me at the beginning.
1
1
"Xiao Jin, I still have work today, so I won't go back."
Looking at the message sent half an hour ago on the screen, I was a little dazed.
The carefully decorated room, the meals that were prepared for a long time, and the pregnancy orders placed on the table, everything became boring in an instant.
I know it well, work is just his excuse.
Because Su Wan had already given me a vaccination not long ago.
She said:
"Poor, in fact, everyone who has been with you is disgusting. If you don't believe it, do you want to try it? Try it if you want to do this today, will Song Yao have a happy date for me?"
Three years ago today, Song Yao brought me a wedding ring with his own hands, his eyes full of hope.
At our wedding, he personally promised me: "Xiao Jin, after marriage, I will not let you cook a meal or wash dishes. I will love you, love you forever."
At that time, I looked up at this man with delicate eyebrows and tall nose, and stars were shining in my eyes.
Later, Su Wan divorced, and she was penniless and began to seek protection from Song Yao.
Su Wan, the person he loved when he was young, was the first girl he was moved by.
People always say that first love always has a unique meaning for boys.
So I began to feel a strong sense of crisis and began to remind him to pay attention to his sense of duty.
They started to have dinner together, started watching movies together, and went to Disney together...
The wishes we made during our passionate love period, he fulfilled them one by one with her.
He always said that he will not let me down, he will control the degree of getting along with Su Wan.
He said: "She is here for no relatives and no reason. It is difficult to live alone. We knew each other in high school at least, so it would be too cold-blooded if we don't help."
Is it just sympathy? Just mercy? He was afraid he hadn't even noticed it, and it had already begun to shake at that time.
Once the heart begins to wander, there will be no boundaries, and his shakenness also gives Su Wan confidence.
Su Wan first provoked me openly three months ago.
2
I had stomachache at night that day, and my face was full of tears.
Actually, I was not that fragile at first, but it happened that every time I had stomach problems , Song Yao would take care of me, but it happened that he was not here tonight.
Emotional collapse is often so inexplicable.
I took the stomach medicine and lay on the bed like a stranded fish, gasping for a big breath.
When I felt most aggrieved, I suddenly remembered Song Yao’s promise.
tossed and turned for a long time, and I still edited a text message to Song Yao:
"When will we go to see the sea together?"
A moment later, he replied to me:
"What are you watching in the middle of the night? I'll see you go to jump into the sea."
I was stunned.
The message was quickly withdrawn, followed by a sentence: "Sorry, I didn't notice it just now, go to bed early."
I know that the message was sent by Su Wan,
But Song Yao still defended her, perfunctory me for her, and watched me foolishly being played in my palm.
Song Yao's heart seemed to be completely biased towards Su Wan.
Memories are flying, and I suddenly feel like I am back to the newlyweds.
At that time, I leaned lazily in his arms, reading my wish list casually: "When I settle down, let's go to Yantai to see the sea? Yes, you can go hiking on the third anniversary! I've wanted to go there a long time ago."
Song Yao hugged me tighter, and the warm breath gushed over me: "Okay, I'll accompany you."
"I want to travel to many places, you won't be tired at that time to make excuses, right?"
"Impossible, Xiao Jin."I will go wherever you go. "
I will never forget that when he hugged me in his arms, I listened to his powerful heartbeat, thinking in my heart: We will always be like this now.
But now everything is different.
A few days ago, when I mentioned the appointment to climb the mountain on the third anniversary, he told me with a faint expression: "I am too busy, you can go by yourself. They are all adults, so they don’t have to accompany them in everything they do. Didn’t you make an appointment long ago? What about other places? Have you not been with me anymore? "I stared at him calmly.
He was stunned for a moment, then lowered his eyes and his eye feathers trembled slightly.
remained silent for a long time, and he said lightly: "I really don't have time lately. "
Memory is mixed, and all the past has dissipated like clouds. Nowadays, all of his attitudes show that he no longer loves me.
The stomach medicine seems to be vain, and his heart is also thrusting and thrusting.
I curled up in a ball, quietly feeling the overwhelming pain that wrapped me in it until my face turned pale and until my cold sweat was bleak.
Pain is a good hypnotic, and I finally fell asleep unknowingly.
3
Since what happened that night, the thin layer of window paper between us seemed to have been completely pierced.
He completely disliked me.
One day I wandered aimlessly in a food street near middle school and suddenly saw Song Yao and Su Wan.
They were sitting in a food stall, chatting and laughing at crayfish.
But Song Yao clearly told me that he hated eating such unclean roadside stalls and food stalls the most.
even hated crayfish, hates all the food with shells.
At this moment, his face was full of smiles, and he was still considerately peeling Su Wan.
"The taste of this restaurant has not changed at all, exactly the same as when we were in school! "Su Wan obediently ate the crayfish that Song Yao sent to her mouth and made a crisp laugh.
Song Yao nodded silently, full of tenderness.
What's bad is that I accidentally destroyed their time they should have been comfortable.
Because Su Wan saw me.
The moment when her eyes touched me, she stood up in panic, like a frightened deer: "Xiao Jin? "
Song Yao also immediately bounced up and subconsciously protected Su Wan behind her. His eyes looked at me as if I was a mad yaksha.
I licked my chapped lips, but I couldn't say a word.
"He said "working overtime" was just accompanying her.
"Xiao Jin, don't get me wrong, Song Yao and I met in high school. He just thought I was in a difficult situation and decided to help me. "Su Wan tried her best to explain.
Of course I knew she and Song Yao knew each other in high school.
Song Yao was full of her heart and eyes, and I was also lost.
Unfortunately, in those ridiculous years, there were only the names of the two of them from beginning to end.
Song Yao wouldn't know, I have liked him since high school.
I decided not to embarrass them and give myself a step.
After hesitating for a long time, I pulled the corner of my mouth powerlessly: "Well, I understand everything. "
Song Yao's delicate eyebrows showed a look of surprise. Before he could speak, I quickly turned around and walked home.
He knew, I was very delicate, I was very sensitive.
He knew everything.
But he didn't say anything.
4
This marriage was like a big cocoon. At first I thought it would be happy, so I walked into it without hesitation.
But now it is so restraining that I can't breathe. I even feel that one day it will suffocate without warning.
In the slightly yellow light, I looked up at the colorful balloons in the room in a daze.
I followed Song Yao to this strange city despite my parents' opposition.
I was too naive and too young.
For a while, I always felt lonely and helpless, and even Song Yao, the only one who could rely on, was gradually losing.
But now, I have a bond in this world.
I covered my right hand with a flat belly and made a bold decision: while it was still convenient to move, go up the mountain to pray for my children.
I had infinite longing for this day, and I had even made careful travel plans.
It’s a pity that things have changed now, so I’m afraid he will not fulfill this wish with me again.
Due to physical discomfort, I did not eat at noon. I set off in the afternoon and arrived at the foot of the mountain at around 3:00 pm.
I felt uncomfortable and retching a few times as soon as I got off the car.
It's dark early in winter, and I always feel that dusk is coming, so I force myself to start walking up the mountain.
The temple here is not far from the mountainside, so there are endless people coming to worship incense.
After arriving at the temple, I thought about it and made the simplest wish: I hope my children will be happy and healthy.
Before leaving, a monk suddenly held me.
His kind face flashed with some compassion: "Female donor, it's too late, and he is unable to move, so why not stay overnight?"
I looked up at the screen of my phone and shook my head at him: "Thank you, but no, I should be able to reach the foot of the mountain before dark."
He sighed deeply, with complex emotions flashing in his eyes, and then he let me leave helplessly.
5
In my original plan, I should have arrived at the foot of the mountain before dark.
But I hung a letter on the bare old tree in front of the temple, a blessing letter I wrote myself.
The letter is a beautiful wish for the child, and I wrote two years ago: I hope to be with Song Yao, year by year.
Although it is a bit ridiculous, just leave that sentence here as saying goodbye.
That tree is not easy to find, so I delayed a little more time.
Looking at the sky gradually sinking, I turned on the flashlight of my phone in a little trouble.
The road is slippery on the snowy day, and I am wearing a bloated down jacket, and my movements are a little unsightly.
I was not careful when I was under my feet, so I fell down. I didn’t know where I hit it. When I raised my hand, blood was gushing from my wrist.
The blood was a little scary under the light, so I tried my best to pick up my phone and dial Song Yao's phone.
"Didn't you say I won't go back today?" His tone was full of impatientness.
I was stunned and stopped. Just as I was about to ask for help, the phone was cut off mercilessly.
is obviously not suitable for the time of loss now, because the sky will only get darker and the danger will only get bigger and bigger.
So I tried to struggle to get up, and I didn't know where I stepped on it, and my feet began to sink.
I was helpless and climbed onto everything that could be grabbed with my hands. My exposed skin was almost frozen and unconsciously.
The next moment, the phone also fell, the light of the flashlight suddenly dimmed, and I suddenly rolled down in the darkness.
, the back of the brain should have hit something, because after the huge pain, I quickly lost consciousness.
6
I seem to see 17-year-old Song Yao.
Rain line spread down the glass window, he leaned against the bus window, and the lyrics of the music in my headphones just rolled to: The first time I met a cloudy day, covering your side face. What is the story of
? I really want to know.
He had delicate eyebrows and eyes, and he turned his head lazily and smiled at his friends beside him. His long eye feathers cast a shadow under his eyes.
Something seems to have crossed my heart wall.
The first time we talked was because he picked up my schoolbag pendant.
At that time, he patted my back and looked at me and laughed: "Classmate, your stuff."
I suddenly met his gaze, took the pendant helplessly, and then hurriedly escaped, leaving him standing in a daze.
Later I heard that he liked Su Wan from Class 5.
Su Wan is actually the dream lover of many boys.
She is beautiful, lively, bright and enthusiastic.
It turns out that Song Yao likes her too.
So this secret love that ended without success was deeply buried by me in those rainy years.
After the college entrance examination, we went our separate ways. I heard that Su Wan married a rich man in this city.
And Song Yao and I entered the same university and got closer and closer.
19 years old, we are in love.
After five years of love, 24-year-old Song Yao proposed to me.
At the grand wedding, he expressed his love to me, his eyes were infinitely lingering.
At that time, he hugged me tightly, and his tone was trembling: "I finally married you."
"What if you bully me after marriage? My dad can't stretch his hands that long." I looked up at him with a little choked.
He bent down and left a hot kiss on my forehead:
"There won't be that day, we will be happy forever."
Wedding shoes didn't fit, and by night I had already polished my hind feet out of blisters.
Song Yao carefully wiped the iodine for me, his eyes full of distress: "I won't let you work so hard in the future."
At that time, we always had endless things to say, and we always had infinite longing for the future.
Later Su Wan divorced, she came to Song Yao, and my happiness was shattered.
Song Yao began to say something hurtful.
"Can you stop thinking too much? I'm very tired when you do this."
"You feel wronged again, right?"
"You can't say anything to someone like you who has no empathy."
"Okay, that's it, don't bother me."
...
We were in endless quarrels, and I completely became the "poor bug" in Su Wan's mouth.
The more proud Su Wan is, the more humble I am.
It was raining heavily that day, and I stood quietly in the rain and watched Song Yao hugging Su Wan.
He hugged her very tightly, as if he was about to embed her in his arms.
I held the umbrella tightly in my hand, and my heart sinks little by little.
It turns out that the people I always care about are holding an umbrella for others.
What’s even more ridiculous is that it was my birthday.
Later I bought the cake and sat alone in the living room.
swallowed with tears in one mouthful, his mouth full of salty and fishy.
Song Yao came home after twelve o'clock. He just looked at the remaining cake packaging on the table and said with a guilty look:
"Sorry, I forgot, I will definitely spend it with you next year."
I accompanied Song Yao to this strange city thousands of miles away from home, with no relatives or friends.
Song Yao, who once promised to treat me as a treasure, now said to me, "Sorry."
What is the most powerless one?
For example, watching your lover fall in love with another person step by step.
One late at night, Su Wan said she didn't want to live anymore, and Song Yao hurriedly brought her coat to find her.
"Do you really don't understand? How many times does she have to play with this trick?" I held the corner of Song Yao's clothes tightly.
He brushed away my hand impatiently. The force was too strong and I knocked down the glass on the table.
fragments pierced into the flesh of my palm, and pain spread wildly.
He looked at my bloody wrist, but he just frowned slightly:
"There is an medical box upstairs. Be good, treat the wound by yourself, I'll be back soon."
So whether it was that rainy night or the third anniversary, Song Yao had actually made a choice long ago.
So Song Yao, who loves me deeply, has long died.
So love cannot be scorching and long-lasting.
7
The fuzzy world gradually became clearer, followed by Song Yao's voice full of surprise:
"Xiao Jin, are you awake?"
He seemed to have seen some lost treasure, and even his tone of speaking was extremely careful.
I coughed twice weakly, and he immediately brought a glass of warm water and came to my mouth considerately.
, and I was alert and glanced at him, then turned his head stubbornly.
He showed a very surprised expression.
After a long time, I sent out a few low dumb and broken syllables:
"You are, who?"
The sudden change seemed to have given him a blow.
Song Yao's expression gradually became stiff from surprise, followed by shock.
